picture perfect.

my dad came home from china on friday with this.


behold.

it's so drop-dead gorgeous, i dont know what else to say.

then a great thing happened. the last string burst on me. how exciting. but i've since changed it and re-tuned the guitar and it's sooo playable right now...although, i'm having reservations about even touching it right now. it's too gorgeous to be destroyed by me...

...oh who am i kidding? as if i'll be able to keep my hands away from that suckerbeauty.

i finally got my brother's birthday present this afternoon.

voila.

so hot, aint it? just do it. :)

by the way, here are a few pictures i took of the sky a few days ago. you know, for fun.


i just like the way this picture turned out.


check the sun out.


this was taken a while back.
sure felt like heaven had just opened it's gates. heh.


just the view from my kitchen window. was trying to take the reflection of the sun setting through the window, and at the same time making sure that my neighbours' underwear hung outside werent in the picture, while hanging on to my phone for it's dear life.

tagged.

*clears mind of useful braincells*

Questions To Die For

[Layer One: On the Outside]
Name: Swee Hoon
Birth Date: 27 December 1988
Current Status: single
Eye Color: black
Hair Color: brownish-black
Righty or Lefty: righty


[Layer Two: On the Inside]
Your Heritage: um, dad's parents were from Suatao(China), where the pure teochews reside. mom's dad was from Hainan Island(China), where... well, the pure hainanese reside. and oh, according to my mom, my great-grandmother was a peranakan.
Your Fear: small spaces. the big unknown. crowds. dolls. wax statues. portraits of women from the 1920s era, dressed in cheongsams. *shudder*
Your Weakness: i dont open up to people alot. java. tv. chocolates.
Your Perfect Pizza: CHEESE. pure cheese. mmmm...mama mia.

[Layer Three: Yesterday, Today , Tomorrow]
Your First Thought This Morning: 5 more minutes.
Your Last Thought Before Bedtime: 5 more minutes.
Your Most Missed Memories: probably australia 1997. and the stupid things my friends and i have done in the past.

[Layer Four: Your Pick]
Pepsi or Coke: coke light.
McDonald or Burger King: hmm. mcdonalds. sliiightly healthier choices? *cough*
Single or Group Dates: single dates, baby!
Adidas or Nike: "impossible is nothing". adidas.
Tea or Nestea: what's the difference?
Chocolate or Vanilla: hiii. chocolate. come to momma.
Cappuccino or Coffee: hmm. cappucino.

[Layer Five: Do You...]
Smoke: never.
Curse: i'm uh, trying to cut down on it. ohm.
Take showers: everyday.
Think you are in love: not really.

[Layer Six: In the Past Month]
Drank alcohol: nope.
Gone to the mall: just a few hours ago, in fact.
Been on stage: nope.
Eaten sushi: dont eat sushi. unfortunately. heh.
Dyed your hair: nope.

[Layer Seven: Have You Ever...]
Played a stripping game: i'd rather play boggle.
Changed who you were to fit in: no. stay true to yourself, everyone!

[Layer Eight: Age]
You are hoping to be married at the age of: 26? 27? probably around there.

[Layer Nine: In a Girl/Guy]
Best Eye Color: brown.
Best Hair Color: black. or dark brown.
Short Hair or Long Hair: wait, is this question about how i think a girl should look or how i think the right guy should look? because it doesnt matter what length it is for the former to me, but it's definitely short for the latter. or maybe bald. that's kinda cool.

[Layer Ten: What Were You Doing]
1 Min Ago: this. yes, this.
1 Hour Ago: watching grey's anatomy.
4.5 Hours Ago: drinking iced lemon tea at mos burger.
1 Month Ago: swimming in the bahamas. i mean, visiting mausoleums in london. okay fine. serving my jailterm working on my stale(and still on-going) project.
1 Year Ago: probably hoping that i wouldnt get some shit project for S.I.P. (well you didnt pray hard enough, SEIGE! damn you, girl. damn you.)

[Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence]
I Love: tuna (chicken of the sea). burrrp. excuse me.

I would like to tag this to...
anyone who wants to do it. :)
or um, anyone who loves waffles.

wow. i am sleepy.

individuality

The individual has always had to struggle
to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
If you try it,
you will be lonely often,
and sometimes frightened.
But no price is too high to pay,
for the privilege of owning yourself.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

did anyone call for a superhero?

so i was with a friend at city hall's mrt station on tuesday, standing by the escalator, waiting for my watch to hit 9.40pm. i scanned through the adidas ads on the walls, like i always would, and then i couldnt believe what i saw.



let me show you a closer picture.



not close enough? sure. here's an EVEN closer one. (i zoomed in.)


it's 25794 ms elvia suryadi, y'all.

oh that's her, all right. even her name's written right next to her picture.

ok, just to satisfy your curious minds, she's actually a teacher from the ITCU, also known as the Internet Technology Competency Unit, a.k.a. the unit where i've been working my ass off for the past 7 months.

i think you should just call her 'superwoman'. now, we've always known her to be a really fit person, but... look at the guy next to her in the picture. i mean, just look at how tired he looks! ok? now look at her.

i swear she's 'superwoman'. really.

ok now wait. here's another one.



woaaah.

my mutant sense tells me she had a costume and a cape hidden under that sportswear.

Time

Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not.
Time takes it all.
Time bears it away.
And in the end,
there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.

-Stephen King

music.

"You got a dream? You gotta protect it. You want something? Go get it. Period."

- Chris Gardner (Will Smith), The Pursuit Of Happyness

i have a new found love for some new music. the band's called Automatic Loveletter and their music is really quite something. Juliet Simms(the lead) has great vocals and there's just something that band possesses that i love. do check them out. :)

also, i think that it's really awesome that bands are giving away their music for free. FREE, and LEGAL, everyone. i mean, wow! now typically, i'm not someone who is really willing to spend money on something like a top or bag that i think is too expensive to me, but music... i have a soft spot for music. good music. and believe me, it's a good and bad thing. heh.

anyway, Radiohead(whose music has always been fabulous) has probably finally reached their peak of brilliance, that they've decided to give away their music for free! now, just how CROUCHINGTIGERHIDDENDRAGON IS THAT, huh? tell me. how AWESOME is that? think about the money that they will be losing out on. the money that they dont give a crap about. it's completely ROCK 'N' ROLL, people. and now that they've done that, the fantabulous Oasis and Jamiroquai are going to do it too. WOAAH. hell yeah.

all hail to the trendsetters. *salutes*

i vote Coldplay next.
heh.

I Got It From My Mama - Will.i.am

"Baby where'd you get your body from?
Tell me where'd you get your body from?
Baby where'd you get your body from?
Tell me where'd you get your body from?"

"i got it from my mama.
i got it from my mama.
i got it from my mama.
i got it got it got got it.."

DUH.

"If the girl real pretty,
Nine times out of ten,
She pretty like her mama.

And if her mama real ugly,
I guarantee ya she gon’ be ugly like her mama."

oh wow. clever.

nonsensical. this song is getting real annoying. tsk.
my opinion? it's pointless.

when she tries...

a typical wednesday afternoon. 8 people were in the lab doing whatever they always did. the door opened and in walked someone. a lecturer. the same one who hasnt exactly been considered an ally around here. "what now?" we thought amongst ourselves.

lecturer: *takes out a big packet of candies* want sweet? come, take some sweets. come. take some. *walks around the lab and offers everyone some sweets before leaving the room*

friend #1: *looks at me in bewilderment* something's wrong.

friend #2: *checks for expiry date*

me: *mouths the word 'Poison'*

friend #4: *perplexed* DONT EAT IT. It's a trick.

ohhh yeeeaah. we're a hard crowd to please.

*pops sweet into mouth*

snigger.

something must've knocked me in the head.

had a great 2-hour long conversation last night. with my dad. uh-huh, i know. strangely enough, it was something new for me, i would say. but it was great. and i enjoyed it.

something my dad said last night.
"life is full of obstacles. but you dont see an obstacle in front of you and give up. dont give up on life. you just have to learn how to overcome it and everything else will fall into place."

mm. inspirational.
someone should sell it on those inspirational cards at Popular or something.
these are just the words that you try not to forget in life.

um, moving on before my words get too weird around here.

alright. moving on. i've decided to go to Australia for a break after graduation next year. that's right. a post-graduation trip. my friends might, or might not join me, but it doesnt quite matter because i had planned to travel there alone initially anyway. besides, i'll get to visit my friend who's studying there now and who i miss dearly(she'll be here next chinese new year though. cant wait!).

sure, it'll burn a hole in my bank book(ack). but i think it's a sacrifice worth making. and yes, i'll be there on a budget. then again, it wont matter because i dont intend to be there to really shop around but more to just kick back and relax. just a break that i think i'll deserve by next year.

mom said 'yes' but i could tell that she's hesitant. worried. makes sense because i havent sat in a plane for um, 12 years, and i told her that i'd be going there alone. so when i told her that my friends might come along, she smiled slightly more naturally. haha. um, we'll save the conversation of how i'm going to be fine alone(if i'm flying solo) for her when the time draws near. heh. dad's 100% supportive and he even started helping me with some plans as to where to go and what to do.

the only tiny, little thing that's standing in the way of me and my great escape, is whether i'll be able to graduate by April'08 or not. *cough* there. just a tiny problem. uh-huh.

anyway, i guess, after losing someone so recently, i've decided to try as hard as possible to fulfil other aspects of my life. the little things that i've always wanted to do. sure, school is pretty much making my life a lot harder but i've decided to try as hard as possible to make it the only bad thing in my life from now on. that's right. i'm going to try to live happy. and i'm not just saying it. i'm really going to try that. for myself. *enlightened*

pass the mourning.
over the grieving.
still wondering,
and not forgetting.
but moving on.

random fact: did you know that the possibility of dying because your plane crashed is much lesser than the possibility of dying from a car crash on your way to the airport? indeed. just thought that you might wanna know. now go freak out. in one way or another. heh.

quote. unquote.

If having things turn out the way you wanted them to
is a measure of a successful life,
then some would say i'm a failure.
The important thing is
not to bitter over life's disappointments.
Learn to let go of the past,
and recognise that everyday wont be sunny.
But when you find yourself
lost in the darkness of despair,
remember,
it's only in the black of the night
that you can see the stars.
And those stars
will lead you back home,
So dont be afraid to make mistakes.
To stumble and fall.
'Cos most of the time,
the greatest rewards come
from doing the things that scare you the most.
Maybe you'll get more than you ever could've imagined.
Who knows where life will take you.
The road is long, and in the end,
the journey is the destination.

- Coach Whitey Durham

mid-autumn fest

"Lack of sleep may be deadly, says study. People who sleep less than five hours are twice as likely to die of heart disease."

- Life, The Straits Times, September 26 2007

shit.

ANYWAY. yesterday was the mid-autumn festival(or mooncake/lantern festival, whatever you wanna call it). so anna and i decided to head down to the little park behind our house for a little walk under the moonlight.

with our lanterns. paper lanterns. old-school style.

and boy, was the park filled with people, all right. people and lanterns everywhere. families everywhere. teens and kids playing with candles and little ones walking with their mini lanterns, while parents strolled along behind, chatting among themselves. the park was beautifully lit up by the lanterns people hung on the bushes and trees.


christmas lightingslanterns on bushes.

then these 2 losers showed up...


...with unlit lanterns(that had no sticks), 2 big and 2 tiny candles, and a matchbox.

took us aeons(hey, we havent done this for around a decade) but we eventually managed to light those babies up. after going through a series of windy ordeals, that is.

tadaaaa.

our lanterns.

we managed to find some sticks(branches) laid on the ground. and for some reason, anna decided to make fun of my fishing rodlantern stick the entire night...after accidentally breaking the perfectly straight one that i had found earlier.

she's lucky we're blood related. hah.

so here it is:

my faithful fishing rodlantern stick.

what a blast.
time for some mooncake.

The Daughtry Experience (20 Sept 2007)

they came.


and i was there. :)

so Daughtry came. and thanks to anna's friend(melvin) who had extra tickets, we(anna, keith, and i) managed to go for the exclusive showcase as well. St James Power Station. now who would've thought that my first time at a club would actually be at St James? and that i was really only there to catch a live gig? heh.

funniest thing i heard while inside the bar.
"some guy called Chris Daughtry performing. i dont know who he is laah."
some dude on the phone.

the gig turned out to be pretty awesome to me. it was, in a way, more acoustic and toned-down, even though i still thought that it was kinda electrifying. one thing's for sure, Chris had great vocals and it showed. in other words, it was live and it rocked so that's all that matters to me.

i only have 2 complains to make about the show.
1) i wished they had performed my favourite song, "Used To".
2) i wished they had thrown some picks over to OUR SIDE! aww come on you guys! i lost TWO of mine! pfft.

so anyway, i tried taking pictures but all i had was a camera phone against what i call "gig-lights", a.k.a. coloured lights, so the pictures turned out looking, uh, "photoshopped". my bad.

we were standing by the side of the stage, so in one way, we were pretty close to it but the guitarist blocked my view of Chris.


just an idea of what the rest of the crowd looked like.


performing.


shaking fans with the fans infrontofthem.

okok. at least the super pumped-up drummer(Joey Barnes) was facing us. and the bassist and Chris did wave to the us. so i'll let that pass. besides, the drummer with his crazy drumming, in his fitting yellow shirt and flip flops? hot. :)

oh. and just to prove that they were drinking in the middle of performances.

and by drinking, i meant BOTH water and beer. how very "rock-star-like."

i took some videos too. dont mind the bad quality(i TOLD YA i was using a camera phone. plenty of good videos on youtube!) and um, the shaking. my hand was raised thiiiiiiis high. oh come on, you guys. that's what happens to vertically-challenged people at gigs.


It's Not Over


Home


Over You

just so you wondering what he was saying in the middle of that song, he said, "hey, can we do it again? i didnt realise you knew it that well so let's do it as loud as you can alright?"

okay. guilty of light headbanging. and swaying. and cheering. and singing. oh, and shit guilty of doing the "rock" sign with my hands in the air a couple of times.

i'm going home.

i'm ready

"my life has become a boring pop song and everyone's singing along."
- Jack's Mannequin


i've been studying(in school).


i'm addicted to The Office.

it makes me laugh.out.loud. really.


i still miss my picks.

L.O.S.T.

argh.

i came home tonight only to realise that something was missing.

my necklace. my favourite necklace.

i had it on before i left home this morning, and it was still on me before i went out in the afternoon. but when i came back, i looked into the mirror and was horrified at what i saw. nothing! that's right. mamapookanas. the necklace came off me! dropped into the middle of a vast ocean. how? how can you search for a needle in a haystack? or orchard road to be exact? it's gone! dammit. how could i have not realised that it came off?? damn, i'm lousy. dang it!

pfft.

now the chain, i dont give a crap. but my favourite 2 guitar picks on it... GONE. forever.


my poor babies. :( noooooooooooooo...

i cant find the same ones anywhere now. especially the purple one. and the white one was my absolute favourite. TSK. mamapookanas! so much for being a mutant and owning superpowers. pft. dammit. *slams chin on desk*

time to watch The Office for some cheering up.
please, the people of Dunder Mifflin. work your wonders!

the golden pair.

my friend surprised me with this yesterday.


a pair of golden flip-flops from novo.

i had accompanied her to the store to collect her heels but i had no idea she actually got this pair of flip-flops as well. ok, so the pair that i own right now...not exactly very safe. it has lost it's friction, well, almost entirely. that's right. i've had tons of slipper troubles before. the affairs of the cursed feet. yes. how cursed, you ask?

hm. i landed on my butt once, right in the middle of the entrance of TM, much to the amusement of my friend and everyone around, including myself. that would've been the perfect ohmygodshedidnt image. mmhm. and i fell once right outside school(wearing my old pair of black sneakers which i had complete faith in), just before my friend could finish her sentence of warning me to "be careful." yea. call me queen.

anyway, i tried on this golden pair(wow i like how that sounds) while we were out the other day but i ended up not getting it because it was kind of expensive to me. so apparently, this girl decided to get it for me. and she REFUSED to accept my money when i offered to pay her back for it. said it was bad luck or something. hah.

whatever it was, thanks alot, babe. i was really surprised. thanks for being so sweet! :)

i took this right outside the expo, where i went to with my mom today. it was around 4.30pm.


and so, the wind blows...

thank you for the invention of camera phones.

anyway, mom and i were talking about Gilmore Girls while we were out today, and i thought i had an epiphany. so i went, "hey! we're just like the Gilmore Gi.. i mean, we could be the Teo.. uh, wait. i mean, the Lim.. eh? no. um. nothing." *cough* oh well, we tried.

at least we got home in time to catch the real show. heh.

updates

my hair's wet so i cant go to bed yet. a chance for an update.

i've been attacked by major headaches over the past few weeks. the kind that makes you wanna bang your head against the wall several times before shooting it twice and then taking some panadol. bloody throbbing headaches. it's definitely the long hours of staring at the computer screen but i dont have much of a choice there.

low immune system + crazy, unpredictable weather + long hours of school =
one very sick and delusional person. who has a fugging annoying headache.

seriously, do i have a tumour or what?! sheesh. you're not only driving me insane, you're out there to kill me!

oh, joyful, glorious school. it's been awesome, really. i mean, what else is new right? i practically own that seat. that entire bench in fact. you know what? just give me the damn PC when i'm done(if i ever do get done). students of the next batch shouldnt have to use that piece of crap anyway. i could use it as a back-up in case the one at home fails. or i could always sell it to the karang guni man and get some money for it. nono, dont act like you love it, now.

i am skeptical about the help that was being promised. the help that hasnt arrived. afterall, who wouldnt be after 19 weeks huh? week 20 would be a good week to start, sir. thanks.

gosh, we are stupid. no we're horrible. in so many amazing ways...related to this project. and you nod in agreement. i nod with you.

but dammit, i will survive.

and you. thank you for telling me. really. you know you'll always be one of my bitches.
botak, or not. :)
oh come on. POSS! heh.

finally. time to sleep now!transfersomegamesintomymobilephonenow.
ah yes. i have become one of those people who actually bother to do that. sigh. it's the 20 weeks, i tell you. *shakes head*

by week 22, i'll probably jump for joy at the idea of being able to study and understand the logic of a microchip retrieved from a mobile phone.

3 more days.

3 more days to the end of this prison termSIP.

3 more days to the end of this invasive, brain-wrecking, butt-torturing, mind-boggling horror.

3 more days to looking at the real-slim-shadys blockheads jackasses assclowns hard-nut, bloodsucking, dopeheaded codgers and to having that urge to do something, um, creative. you see, we never owned a halo.

3 more days to the end of this semester.

3 more days to the rightfully deserving holidays.

3 more days... for everyone else that is.

ah well. at least it's 3 more days to friday for me.
hip, hip, hoo-boy.

you cant stop the beat.

ok ok, with regards to my last post, i wasnt really pissed off when i wrote that or anything. i was just expressing my thoughts for that moment(and i still feel that way). but thanks for the concern anyway, you guys. just know that i'm one who seeks solace in my own arms and i'm fine. tired, but fine. :)

anyway, i caught this yesterday.

the story was alright but the music was catchy, loud and heaps of fun. really. it made the movie likeable.

the new girl, who also played the lead, Nikki Blonsky, was just a ball of fun to watch. she would probably dance all night if you let her. and apparently, when he's not shooting lasers from his eyes in "X-Men" or running away from strange people in "Disturbing Behaviour", James Marsden is actually a really good singer. really.

but my favourite has got to be Elijah Kelley. he just brought the house down for me.

Amanda Bynes wasnt that good of a singer but i thought she wasnt thaaat bad at all. so basically everyone, and i do mean everyone, could sing. ok, like duh, this IS a musical. i know. silly me.

all in all, i'd say it was a fun movie to watch but still, nothing beats Grease for me. grease lightnin'!

now excuse me while i go dance myself crazy. (this IS a SATURDAY night.)

stop.

*Please ignore this post if you've been awoken by the lovely chirping of the songbird by your window, with the sun rays beaming brightly on your smiling face. or if you've just had a nice day, to put it simply. close this page now, and go visit some gossip blogs. :) go! leave before it's too late! dont say i didnt warn you. *

is the coast clear? ok here goes.

recently, i've been asked loads of questions. questions about this, that, everything, anything. just loads of questions. questions, questions, questions.

QUESTIONS.
HI. IT HAS TO STOP.
GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

i really dont know alot of answers to those questions. be it about school(project) or my life. and quite FRANKLY, i dont think i can answer any of them anymore. i cant squeeze out a reply. not for now, at least.

my mind's in a whirl. seriously. there're so many things going through my mind right now. even right at this instant. and the thing is, i know many people are just like me. and some probably have it worse. you know the feeling. that kind of feeling. that feeling where one day your head just tells you, "seriously, you have to stop."

so stop.
and stop thinking that i'm unconcerned with the shit around me.
stop it with everything. please.

but really, no offence to those who mean well(jackasses not included). i appreciate the concerns, i really do. especially with what's going on recently. appreciated! it's just that, at this moment, this period, this instant, my mind is not letting me give out any explanation to anything.

to say it nicely, i'd say that i just "need a short break from everything."
to speak my mind, i'd say that i'm " really bloody, fucking tired."

i cant remember when the last time i had a break was.

look, i dont know what the hell is wrong with me, you see. so i'm really sorry. but i think i need to shut out the rest of the world. it works better for me this way.

meanwhile, you know i dont drink. but i feel like i'm drunk as i'm posting this right now. hmm. maybe i am. all that's missing is the bottle...of well, alcohol. ha-ha. ha-h..

ok hell. it's not even funny.

Been Here Before

what a long, hard, tiring week last week has been.

bad announcements from school and my friends all came at one shot.
it was just bad news all over.

this week's most probably going to suck too. not as much, but still. my project review 2 is up on thursday, 1.20pm. the time to get humiliated in front of hundreds of our fellow students, having nothing to really present. yea, it's probably going to suck.

but life still goes on.
yes, i've learnt that life still carries on no matter how much it sucks. we just have to learn how to get through the shit that we go through and carry on living.

i learnt it the hard way.

"Only in your eyes a sudden need denied
I empathize.
it's ok now that you're gone
Hurry up and sleep,
to the night you go."

- Been Here Before, Jeremy Enigk

The Last Goodbye

dear you,

turtlela.

moomoohoon.

chickajean.

choo-choo train.

these names we made for ourselves on the randomest note a few years back.

tonight, for some reason, feels different. i was, for one, feeling quite at peace with myself. i held back my tears. instead, laughter brought about by ourselves. for the first time since you left, we were able to laugh at the things we did. just like what it was like when you were with us. you know how it's like, right? yea, you do. but of course, it will never be the same without you.

alot of people asked me why you did it. i wasnt really able to answer anyone of them. i guess i just didnt know what the real answer is.

i will never stop wondering why you did what you did, but i guess you had your unspoken reasons. and i've almost come to terms with it. at least, i think i have. this time, you really taught me alot of things. you taught me to cherish and treasure everyone around me. to treat my friends with respect. to be there for my loved ones. to not give up so easily no matter how bad things get.

actually, i've known these things for a long time. but you really taught me their precious, true meaning. so thank you.

i want to say alot of things to you. what should i do? i'll say them in my prayers, girl. i hope you'll be able to hear them. i'm sorry i wont be able to send you off on your journey tomorrow. i dont think i can bring myself to as well. but i will pray for you. i will.

so i guess, this is it. my one last letter to you before you go on your journey.. my dear, dear, sweet you.


goodnight, my dear choo-choo train. sleep tight. i'll miss you for as long as forever.

we love you.

forever, and will always be, your little friend,

Seige (moomoohoon)

from my heart to yours

dear you,

this evening, while i was walking to meet the others, i had a sick feeling in my stomach. i felt like i was going to throw up. i dont know why, but i just had it.

it's just... it hadnt quite hit me then. it felt like, the closer i got to your place, the more this seemed real. the more it became a reality. i never wanted it to be real. never. i still hope, wish, it's not. but it wasnt until i saw your photo...

it hit me. right smack at that moment. a picture, of you, my dear, dear friend.
it was real, wasnt it? this. this is real. is it?

i'm sorry i didnt look at you. yes, my parents said i shouldnt but it was mostly because i just didnt have the courage too. i dont know. it's just that, seeing you would mean that this has truly, really, happened. i couldnt bring myself to look at you. i am really, really, really sorry. but i couldnt do it. i still cant.

you know, a few times tonight, i actually imagined you sitting right amongst us, joining us in our conversations. it just felt like another thing that we attended together as a group. then we would leave together as a group, and talk about it on our way home.

but it just, i didnt think... it would be yours.
never.

tonight, plenty of our old classmates and friends came. but that wasnt my idea of our class gathering. not like that. it wasnt supposed to be like that.

there're certain things and images that i cant get out of my head right now. feels kind of empty, and kind of strange, but i think i'll be tough. i'll be strong. you'd want that, i know you do. if the idea of not wanting to depend on us and be independent led you to this, i'd rather you depended on us for your entire life. you know we love you. i know you know. i bet you loved us too.

so i have been addressing these entries to you.
because there's a part of me that, somehow, perhaps, just wishes that you would just leave me a comment right now.

when you're gone.

dear you,

why did you have to do it?

this morning, i woke up with a terrible gastric pain. i got an mc, something so rare in my poly life. was that a sign? was that an omen? was someone trying to tell me something?

it's so sudden. too sudden. i dont know what else to say. i've always counted you as one of my closer friends from secondary school. they'd always ask, "who?" and i'd always tell them, "the same ol' group." i'd mention all your names. YOUR lil' name.

perhaps i wasnt a good enough friend. shaun was right. we've been friends for so long, but i still dont know your favourite colour. your favourite number. your favourite song. your favourite word. the big things, we noticed. but the littlest things...they past by us just like that and i just didnt take note. if you are still here, i'd pick up the phone right now and ask you. i'd ask you every little thing possible. i swear. i'm sorry.

if only. if only we knew something was wrong. if only we knew your intentions. if only i knew to get there in time. to lend you a listening ear. to lend you a shoulder to cry on. to lend you a face to scream at. anything. just to be there for you. the if-onlys. they dont quite work now, do they?

11 august 2007. you had long hair. it was the longest you've ever grown it. you asked me if you should cut it. i told you not to, because i've never seen you with long hair. you contemplated. then you said you were going to try to let it grow this time. you've never seen yourself with long hair before too. we laughed.

i'll never get the chance to see it grow anymore.

the 70 cents newpaper. i left it in your bag. you wanted to return me, but i thought it was too troublesome for you. i told you to keep it. after a few smses, you said, "haha, ok."

that very saturday night. long john silvers. you had combo 1. with ice lemon tea. i said the tea was too sweet. you nodded in agreement and told me the same thing. plaza singapura's long john silvers has very, very sweet ice lemon tea.

you said to meet up after your examinations were over. all of us. we were set to travel together one day, as a whole group. your birthday. it's not even here yet. remember all you babies born on the 17th of july, august, september, october and november?

no longer will i have the chance to say "happy birthday!" on the 17th of october.
that mark on my calendar.

you left for the train that night. i waved and said, "bye!". i never knew that would be the last time that i would actually see you.

it still doesnt seem real. doesnt feel real. i know it for a fact, but i just cant seem to imagine it. perhaps there're many reasons to this. this thing. your reasons. i just wish i knew what they were, but i guess i will never know now. not a chance. will you just tell me that it's all a cruel joke? please.

"i'm sorry...bye bye..". unfair, dont you think? this is really, really unfair. it's not enough. come back.

why did you have to do this? why did you have to leave us?


Wei Choo.
"Choo."
17 October 1988 - 13 August 2007
we miss you already.

forever your friend,
Seige

tagged. again.

List out your top 5 birthday presents that you wish for:
1. an electric guitar
2. a driver's license
3. an air-ticket to new york city, ny. or you know, anywhere out of here.
4. any of the albums below
5. new wallpapers of the city lights at night

Answer the following questions.

1.(the person who tagged you was ...)
shaun

2.(your relationship with him/her is ...)
he's my coffee/mahjong/cards/monopolyboard games/bak chor mee/chatting buddy.

3.(your 5 impressions of him/her ..)
quirky, loves board games, borat smile, humorous, sensitive

4.(the most memorable thing he/she has done for you)
hm. sneezing blood while sitting behind me. haha.

5.(the most memorable words he/she has said to you)
"my soon-to-be-future-brother-in-law's-sister." he just said it just now!

6.(if he/she becomes your lover, you will..)
laugh. that'll be interesting.

7.(if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be)
nothing. shaun is perfect! *cough*(dude, if you're reading this, i'm your best friend now. i win. endofstory.)

8.(if he/she becomes your enemy, you will...)
laugh. again.

9. (if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be ...)
that he strangled me because i wouldnt play monopoly with him.

10.(the most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is ...)
support him in whatever direction in life he chooses to lead. :)

11.(your overall impression of him/her is ...)
funny lil' boy.

12.(how you think people around you will feel about you?)
strange because i seem to think that i'm a mutant.
...well that's because it's true, you fools. d'oh.

13.(the characters you love of yourself are ...)
that i dont feel the need to know what the world thinks about me. well, unless they choose to tell me. oh, and that i find great music for therapy.

14.(on the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are ...)
that i'm gutless. and incapable in school. and that i cant open-up completely. basically, a shit job.

15.(the most ideal person you want to be is ...)
a simple person who knows what she wants in life and works to achieve it. (kinda hard right now.)

16.(for people that care and like you, say something to them ..)
aw. i love me too. ok, i was just kidding. no really, you guys are awesome. go buy yourselves some beerjuice. you deserve it. :)

17.(pass this quiz to 10 persons that you wish to know how they feel about you)
1. anna
2. marcus
3. jean
4. prisc
5. weichoo
6. lizhen
7. fifi
8. von
9. yan jun
10. shaun (fine, slap the shit out of me.)

dont worry, you guys dont really have to do this(if you ever see this). i just needed 10 names.

11.(who is no.6 having relationship with?) her boyfriend.

12.(Is no.9 a male or female?)
female.

13.(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?)
um. it'll be a strange combination. really strange.

14.(How about no.8 and 5?)
ok, stranger.

15.(What is no.2 studying about?)
um, he's waiting to serve the country.

16.(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?)
2 hours ago.

17.(What kind of music band does no.8 like?)
she listens to everything i guess.

18.(Does no.1 have any siblings?)
one brother who loves her to death.

19.(Will you woo no.3?)
hi jean. ;)

20.(How about no.7?)
impossible.

21.(Is no.4 single?)
no.

22.(What's the surname of no.5?)
chua. ms chua.

23.(What's the hobby of no.4?)
if it was recently, i'd say shopping. generally, i'd say sleeping. occasionally, i'd say long walks at the beach.

24.(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?)
i'm not sure if they really know each other.

25.(Where is no.2 studying at?)
uh, pulau tekong, i guess? soon. well, ok, he was from republic poly. you lucky graduate, you! heh.

26.(Talk something casually about no.1)
she has pink nails. *blinks* oh and her bedroom's right below mine. ooh i wonder if she can hear me(or wake up) if i jump right now... (i win again!) okay, i love that woman to death.

27.(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?)
LOL. if only she would just read this.

28.(Where does no.9 live at?)
queensland, australia.

29.(What color does no.4 like?)
hm. black. white. not sure what else. uh... blue?

30.(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?)
unrelated.

31.(Does no.7 like no.2?)
HAHA.

32.(How did you get to know no.2?)
through anna. and um... singapore idol. oh CRAP, i said it.

33.(Does no.1 have any pets?)
nope. used to though. hamsters Phoebe and Joey.

34.(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?)
the dude rocks his topman and suspenders, i tell ya. that bitch is hot.

cheers.

happy 42nd.

mamapookanas.

meme

oh before i forget, i've been tagged by cineylens to do this meme. so here goes.

rules:

• Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
• People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
• At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
• Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.
  

8 Random Facts and Habits (that i have to figure out):

1. i have a goofy dance. no, i do not have a name for it. i just call it my goofy dance. it comes on whenever something groovy plays. especially when i'm in my own crib. works best with corny beats from the 80s. and believe me when i say it's goofy.
2. i can do a cartwheel. just rolled around so much as a kid that i picked it up. i used to be able to do it with just one hand but i think i should just stick to two right now. wouldnt want to die at 19.
3. i can talk with a filipino accent. *cough* not to offend any one.
4. the nails on my toes are kind of slanted. diagonal. yea. mom says i take after my dad but i reckon it's more of a mutant thing. which i totally am.
5. i've been wanting to try a fried worm. the type sold in the streets of bangkok. disgusting or not, i'll only know after i've tried it.
6. i used to have over 80 archie comics on my shelf and i read every single one of them, more than 5 times each. but i've given over 20 of them away to good pals. i should start a business renting these comics out, no?
7. i'm TERRIFIED of dolls. cockroaches? no. dolls? i HATE. i used to own, and love, this doll that produced stickers from herit's stomach when i was a kid. then it just became plain creepy as i grew up and i dumped it inside a pail(with a lid). it was under my desk for a long time and i refused to open it until i finally got my mom to throw that pail away one day, with it's lid on. believe me, i've even had dreams of it finding it's way back to my room and crawling under my blanket to "surprise" me. oh the bloody horror. do not call me paranoid. dolls are evil, i tell you. EVIL!
8. i love spiders. big or small, love em' all. there's just something about those eight-legged freaks that has enticed me since i was a kid. oh wait, my spidey-sense is tingling...

wow. i cant believe i managed to squeeze out 8 random facts about myself. anyway, if you're reading this and want to do it, then you're tagged. :)

which way, please?

i have got to do something about this life of mine.

it's not spiralling downhill. it's not.
i'm not pregnant, not sniffing coke, not getting wasted every night, not doing anything illegal(not that i would put it up here if i were). i'm healthy, got a home, and my family's still strong and tight.

so why does it still feel like something's missing?

i know. it's the future thing again. so bleak. so..empty. cant really see what it is like to be exact.
i need directions.
i need to start taking control.

perhaps getting inked would give me some directions. some spiritual guidance.

rrrright. excuses. haha.

this is why you should never watch too much scv.

i feel the urge to get inked.

oh crap.

mom'll probably "ink" my eye.
it's not my prerogative yet. and it'll probably never be. which, i somehow applaud to.
yes, as you can see, i am a confused soul.

please. let this be just a phase.

the world is going insane, i tell you. mental.
as if mother nature's destructions arent bad enough, we have to go around chopping others into pieces and kidnapping species of our kind. see, it's these things that show you why homosapiens are too smart for their own good.

which is why mutants should totally rule the earth.
so hear my call, my brothers and sisters. hear my call.

oh yes. know how everyone has a name for their "alter ego" or something? like "mimi" and her emancipation(Mariah Carey), and "sasha" and her falling stint during a performance(Beyonce)? well, turns out i have one too.

the name's Sanjay.
and he's a dude. i think.

okay. you probably dont understand this entry ENTIRELY and think that i'm drunk right now. thing is, i dont even drink. i'm thinking this is probably the start of an undeniable case of a mental breakdown. Cuckoo.

quitter.

my momma said to go to rehab and i said, "hell yeah."

anywhere but this shithole.

wet.

i like the park after it rains.

i went jogging at around 6.10 pm. it was the first time i had jogged RIGHT after it stopped raining. it felt different. the air was nice, fresh and cool. the wind blew as i jogged against it. the cool, cold wind. cold, but i loved it. the ground was wet but it wasnt slippery. there were little puddles along the way. just little puddles.

for the first time in a few weeks, the park was quiet. serene, actually. aside from a young mother and her 2 daughters on the swing, and a couple of people exercising by the fitness corner, the park was practically empty. no middle aged peoples' chatter, no kids laughing and screaming, chasing each other around, not much noise in fact. and i kinda liked it actually.

now, i like seeing parents and their kids playing, neighbours of different races sharing recipes with each other and stuffs. but i loved the park being quiet. it was so peaceful. and the weather, so cool. i felt like i was in U.K.(minus the floods). alright, so i havent actually been there to know what it's like, but a girl can imagine, cant she?

the street lights. ok, park lights. the trees after it rained. although the leaves drooped from all that water, they looked fresh and clean. green after a nice bath. it really helped to take my mind off school. then i heard a kid shout. within the next few seconds, a group of 6-7 boys cycled sped past me. left. right. zoooom.

"why you bloody little," i thought to myself.

one of them fell. his friends stopped, turned back, and laughed at him. he laughed at himself and picked himself up. oh well. i jogged past. a couple of familiar faces appeared. the old lady who went to the park everyday. her sari flowing as the wind blew. and the cute little boy with his skate scooter.

...last round. ah, the nice, peaceful, cool wea... ZOOOM. the group of boys sped past me again on their bicycles. this time,coming from the opposite direction. "bah. brats." i know, i know, kids will be kids. anyway, i hopped onto the swing before i went back. didnt make me feel like a little kid again, but it felt good with the wind brushing against my face. yes, i was sweating but damn, that felt good.

i like the park after it rains. :)

anyway, i finished reading the Deathly Hallows last night. i loved it(although the death of one of my all-time favourite characters wasnt a good idea!). i so did. but now, i feel empty. there's really nothing to look forward to after school now, is there? *sighs*. that's it. i'm reading it again.

onto my shoes. i got this from my mom for my birthday last december and i have been wearing it ever since.




i like my sneakers to look old, worned-out and dirty. but this? my friends reckon i need a new pair. i think so too. hah. now, all i need is some money.

random. i took this photo last night. around 630pm. it was still bright but the sky threatened to rain.


kinda looked like "War of the Worlds", no?

sca-ry.

Read me

ah.

finally, it has arrived.



yes. something for me to finally seek solace in. yes. yes. yes.
ima block out the rest of the world.
thanks, ms rowling. you're my girl.


here i go...

it's going by way too fast. the weekends.

school. i need solutions.

what would ashton kutcher do?

You have been forewarned.

i am a really desperate student.

and this is my desperate cry for help.

if any of you knows of anyone, anyone at all, who knows something about converting C++ to JAVA language (without using a software for conversion) with a suggestive use of JNI(which is completely another language to me) or any other methods, please please please let me know. or if you know a thing or two about video streaming to mobile phones, let me know too. pretty pleeease.

this is my plea. i really need help. seriously.
please, please, please, please, please.

i'd reeeally appreciate it. really.

someone. anyone at all.

do you have a gun?

cream crackered.

it's official, my status in this competency unit based on my project progression. a repetition of S.I.P.-- if it carries on like that. another 20 more weeks. yes. reconfirmed by the top dog himself.

and then, douchebag #2 came in and ticked me off. for having an uncleared mailbox. right. to which i explained to him that i had less than 20 mails in it. which then led to me being ticked off again for not clearing my "deleted items" folder, making me a dipstick since i'm already in my 3rd year of some shit course that is the future of singapore.

coincidentally, this is the day my painters chose to roll in- period.

so basically, today i learnt that my life could be completely screwed in a couple of weeks, and that both hardnut, blood-sucking, dopeheaded codgers now know me for the wrong reasons. hey, you know what they always say. if you can step on one tail, why not step on both?

it's a great day.

chuffin 'ell.

ah what the heck. fuck.

More Than Meets The Eye

i caught Transformers yesterday.

it was amazing. i was completely entertained throughout the show. i'm serious. com-plete-ly en-ter-tained. the CGI effects were so powerful that it seemed as though the robots were really there. and it wasnt one movie that wasted time on uneccessary drama. all i could think about after the movie was that i hoped the bus that i was on would transform along the way(which it didnt, much to my disappointment). talk about the after effects of a great picture.

in the meantime, if i had a gun right now, i'd pop a bullet right through my head.

bang. cheers.

the Phobia list

jfhasifas, fjahfklualdifa nduflasdfi shit, sdhnfldsadujfhyalidufd. jfahfawey real shit dbfuadfhf, shdgaue.

yeah, that's pretty much what school was for me over the past 2 days.

so i did a little research on names of different types of phobias, and i came across a really long list filled with possibly, the longest word i ever came across in my entire life, and words that i twist my tongue around to pronounce. best of all, fears of things that i never thought was possible.

some of the many phobias i never knew existed:

• Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
• Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. (this is not the only country!)
• Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
• Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money. (wait, people actually fear money?)
• Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. (awesome. there's an actual name for this.)
• Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
• Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia- Fear of challenges to official doctrine or of radical deviation. (only because i completely dont understand this entire meaning of the phobia.)
• Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia- Fear of the number 666. (i'll pay you 2 bucks if you can read this right in 3 secs.)
• Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (5 bucks.)
• Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
• Parthenophobia- Fear of virgins or young girls. (fear of virgins? the dude must be sick.)
• Phobophobia- Fear of phobias. (peter piper picked a peck of pickled peppers...)
• Sesquipedalophobia- Fear of long words. (mary says, "hi. i have a fear of long words. it's called 'sesquipedalophobia'. you know, like i said. a fear of long words.*cough*.")
• Urophobia- Fear of urine or urinating. (everyday is a bad day.)
• Vestiphobia- Fear of clothing. (hm.)

some of the more interesting phobias i think i actually might have:

• Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being. (okay wax figures are just plain SCA-RY.)
• Claustrophobia- Fear of confined spaces. (hint: coffin.)
• Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
• Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school. (nuff' said.)
• Ochlophobia- Fear of crowds or mobs.
• Pediophobia- Fear of dolls. (*shudder*)
• Philophobia- Fear of falling in love or being in love.
• Taphephobia or Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries.

of course there're plenty more fears that everyone generally shares, like the fear of blindness etc. but i thought i'd just put up some that would relate personally to me. ...OKAY, except for the last one, i'll admit.

would you like to be buried alive?

there can be no title for this.

ok, here's the deal. i havent been updating that much or as often because i havent been feeling the urge to turn on the computer after school for the past 2 weeks. plus the fact that it crashed on me really discouraged me even more. well it's the weekends. thankyougod.

a week ago, i caught this.


wasnt that fantastic(neither was the first one) but it wasnt that bad. one thing's for sure. it's definitely better than Ghostrider. that, i can assure you of.

now this, i cant wait.

robots in disguise, y'all!

michael bay directed it. steven spielberg produced it. plus, i've always been a fan of Shia. and Optimus Prime finally gets his big break. this should be worth my while.

moving on. i went to Ikea(the huge one) yesterday for the first time and i'd love to go back there for many more. i've always wanted to visit Ikea since the days of striking furnitures and items off the Ikea catalogue with anna for our, um, then-future-abode(which usually amounted up to extreme numbers in cost). no disappointment there. pictures ahead.


dinner. not just any meatballs. Swedish meathballs. le burp.

showrooms:










something that i've wanted on my wall for so long.

NYC.
ok, less complicated is fine. the Eiffel Tower one will work wonders too.

owning this,

will be like the bees knees. rad.

pictures that i yearn for:


a view of NYC. $15.90


the Brooklyn Bridge. $9.90


Audrey Hepburn. a hundred gazillion dollars.

ok, so maybe not gazillion. but waaaay past my measly little budget. dang it. ...at least, window shopping can be fun.

school, on the other hand, has been an absolute torture. on the bright side, 9 weeks has gone by. on the dark side, there're 10 more to go. on an even darker side, it doesnt really matter how many weeks has past by because with nothing accomplished, it's not encouraging to look forward to the end of the semester. smashing your head over a watermelon, however, is fully encouraged.

which reminds me,

shouldnt someone take this sign down already?

1800-112-iquit

just call me a quitter.

i want to break free?

so i guess you've heard. the hotel heiress' free from serving time in prison and placed under house arrest for the next 40 days. now, i am just shocked.

how dare they not give her royal heiress an air-ticket to the Bahamas for some sun, sand and sea? *stands with arms akimbo* tsk, tsk. someone should see the judge again.

what would sarah silverman say?

now, really. i'm not wasting an entry on Paris Hilton. i'm just excited to see what new quotes and quirky tees they can come up with this time. always a fan of quoted tees! it'll be fun.

anyway, marc's going to australia for a break. let's see...

next tuesday:
marc: sydney
seige: some random lab in school.

results:
marc: 1, seige: nil.

the dude wins!

heh.

Black Holes and Revelations

you know that feeling? when a tune has been stuck in your head for the entire day but you just cant figure out what the title of the song is?

that frustration?

and then that feeling, where all of a sudden, the song title just pops out of nowhere back into your head?

that joy?

funny how the tiniest little thing like this can make one so frustrated and yet, happy altogether.

just so you're curious about what link the title has to this post. well, that's the song that left me frustrated for the entire day when the tune was stuck in my head and the title just wouldnt show itself. until now. Black Holes and Revelations. Starlight. heh. :)

Parental Guidance

***warning: profanities ahead. please refrain from reading this post if vulgarities dont sit well with you.

i just heard some bloodyfriedchickenass sucker almost caused my dad to bang his car.

the fugger was on the straight lane while my dad was on the right. that fugger wanted to make an illegal right turn so he turned off his headlights(probably so that no one could see his license plate number). naturally, my dad turned right and that fugger turned right at the same time. fortunately, my dad was able to drive slightly ahead of that other car, preventing a collision. that's once.

but it didnt end there.

apparently, that fugger wasnt quite delighted about that so without warning, he overtook my dad's car and my dad had to jam break to prevent YET another collision. THAT'S TWICE, you son of a bitch.

but sticking to his true-blue, borned and well-bred jerkface style, he wouldnt let it end there. i mean, since you're being a jerk, might as well be one all the way right?

so now my dad's car was right behind right? seeing that that uranusbloodsucker was in front, and that my mom had already been frightened twice, my dad tried to go to the other lane. then what happened? that sonofabitch moved to the other lane as well! so my dad went left, and he went left, and my dad went right, and he zigged his zagged to the right too(meaning that he wouldnt let my dad's car pass). and it all happened with his car only a few inches in front of my dad's(in any case that my dad's car crashes into his, we'll have to pay for damages).

THREE STRIKES! YOU'RE FUCKING OUT, DUDE!

i was even more pissed when i found out that he wasnt some young, reckless driver as i had guessed while listening to the story.

please do not mess with my family, you dickhead. especially my parents. thank god nothing happened. or believe me, you old asshole, you'll pay.

if you think i'm over-reacting(which i dont think i am since we're talking about my parents' safety here), then you should've seen my brother's reaction. :) i do apologise for the profanities used though.

it's the...

weekends! weekends! weekends!

*cartwheels*

i shudder at the word "emo".
unless you play in an emo band.

i understand that it's hard. but try to lighten up, you guys.
at least for the weekends.

ok, this just went from cheery to dreary.

wikipedic.

everyday is a day for wikipedia.

last week, i did some wikipedia-ing on the wisdom tooth, and apendicitis. dont ask.

yesterday was the day for the great Joan of Arc, and the legendary famous criminal couple, Bonnie and Clyde.

this morning, i went for Alexander Flemming(after dad sent me an email), and William McKinley, which then led on to Theodore Roosevelt. eventually, i ended up trying to memorise the names of all 43 presidents of the United States of America.

unfortunately, right up to now, all i can remember are the names of the first 10 and the last 9. wake up tomorrow and all that's left in my head would be Ronald Regan, George H. W. Bush, Bill Clinton, George W. Bush. what a waste.

okay. i am the random like that.

oh yes, the company finally came by and met us for the first time, also finally handing us the camera after 2 1/2 months of delay.

unimportant.

2008

graduation gowns.

i never knew that you get to wear those when you graduate from a polytechnic, until recently(thanks to marc). this afternoon was graduation day for most of the seniors of the Infocomms diploma. it didnt really mean much to me until i saw a couple of them in their graduation gowns.

then i realised how great it must have felt for them.

not that the gown looked extremely fashionable and rad or anything. but that it meant something.

it meant graduation. it meant that they did it. how? i dont know. but they did it.

yes. i want to put on that gown. i know, it's not that i'm looking forward to working life or anything( i know. whataloser). but i am looking forward to the day that i graduate. yes. the day i put on that gown will be the day that i know that all the shit that i went through finally paid off. just think. that's me in less than a year's time. less than a friggin' year!

wrong. why? well, if my current project goes on at this rate, i'll probably feel the same way this time next year, watching my friends leave with smiles while i look forward to my graduation day which would probably be in 2009(2010?). *raises eyebrow*

damn. let the US presidential elections, the olympics and my graduation be held on the same year. please.

let me say, "i friggin' did it."

*crosses fingers*

ps: i heard a really good news today. one word. "relieved."

"hello, 9-1-1?"

the school has signed our project up for some IT shitJavaJive competition.

our untouched, unimproved, undeveloped, exploited project.

i dont know about my 2 other group mates, but there's a current state of panic and confusion and a high chance of over-hyperventilation on my part.

nothing, i mean, NOTHING, has been done successfully. nothing has worked yet. and to complete this in one month? yes, my teacher has every right to be worried. i am aware of how near the edge i'm standing right now, i promise you on this one.

i do not want to fail.
not with all those pairs of watchful eyes around me. not when they're all rooting for me to fail in their dirty little circle.

so why does it feel like i dont have much of a choice now?

state emergency.

Girl Interrupted

what does it mean when you have a series of disturbing dreams? and by disturbing, i mean, sick and twisted. psychologically challenging.

is this a sign telling you that you should've laid off those James Patterson books and CSI shows while you had the chance? or that it's just always been you? that you've probably been about 25% mentally disturbed for quite some time?

perhaps you were just oblivious to the fact that your sanity was only hanging by a thread.

obliviousness. that's probably it.

you're going crazy.

bulletin

since marc requested...

Name 3 things in your purse/bag/pocket.
i) lexus- peanut butter (most probably crushed)
ii) wallet
iii) notebook

Name 3 things you do when you're really stressed.
i) music therapy is the best way out.
ii) comedies. no, wait. anything on tv, really.
iii) turn green and morph into the hulk.(cant be helped)

Name 3 favorite places to shop.
i) cd shops
ii) the shop that sells shirts with band names
iii) anywhere cheap

Name 3 favorite fruits:
i) mango
ii) grapes
iii) oh who am i kidding? almost every fruit is a favourite.

THE WHOS(!?)

Who is in the house with you?
mom and bro. (dad's probably climbing over the walls of the forbidden city right now.)

Who are you thinking about right now?
colonel sanders. okay, my dad.

Who did you last talk to on the phone?
a friend.

Whose birthday is next?
i think it's fifi's.

Who do you wish you were with right now?
adam brody. or seth cohen.
whichever persona he chooses to assume. i'm cool with anything. :)

Who did u sms last?
another friend.

Where do you live?
in the hidden cave.

Where is your phone?
right beside me.

Where do you sleep?
next to king kong.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
um. power 98's christmas party.

Where is the last place you took a ride to?:
prisonschool.

Where in your house are you?
my snuggly crib.

THE WHATS

What was the last thing you ate?
the last apple.

What color shirt are you wearing?
black.

What is the closest item near you that is blue?
my mousepad.

What is your favorite color?
green.

What kind of surgery have you had?
i've tried all kinds but none of them seemed to have worked so far.
i still morph into the hulk whenever i'm angry.

What do you wear more jeans or shorts?
knee-length pants.

What is the last movie you watched?
spiderman 3.

What song do you currently hear?
i still remember- bloc party.

What was your dream last night?
something TWISTED.

THE WHENS

When did you start school?
officially, may 23rd. unofficially, the moment i ended my exams in march. *seethes*

When is your birthday?
way end of the year.

When did you last go to the mall?
monday. shiver me timbers.

When was the last time you bought a pair of jeans?
last week.

When did you last burn a candle?
um, during a blackout early this year.

When did you last see your dad?
sunday morning, before he took off for beijing.

When did you last see your mom?
2 minutes ago.

When did you last see your best friend(s)?
king kong? he's right next to me.

the boy with no name

i'll save the rest for later.

in the meantime...


TRAVIS IS BACK, Y'ALL!

woohoo!

it's all good.

define death.

the weather is ridiculous. this weather is ridiculous. and yet, the air-conditioner in the lab helps to freeze my ears.

so it's scorching hot and humid on the outside, and freezing cold in the lab. hmm. i wonder if i might die from this daily temperature shift in my life before i die from too much radiation from the computer. hmm.

i was at bedok reservoir yesterday for our routine end-of-the-week-walk. i liked being able to go out for some fresh air. it was nice to look at other things besides the computer screen. i needed that for my eyes. but the heat was a definite killer though.

speaking of which, we were walking when this police car drove by us and stopped right in front. 2 policemen got out of the car and started walking around, as though they were looking for something.

"wow. what do you think they're doing?"

"hey, maybe there's a dead body. haha."

"oooh. or maybe they're looking for guns."

as we walked further ahead, 2 more police cars drove by us. when our teacher who was jogging from the opposite direction jogged by us, he said jokingly, "what's going on? dead body ah?"

we laughed.

this police car pulled up to us. told us to make a u-turn. the area up ahead had been blocked. there was a tent. a tent?

yes. a dead body had been found. apparently.

OKAY. when i said it was nice to be able to look at other things besides the computer screen, i had no idea that "other things" would mean- a dead body. wow. our first walk. how unpredictable was that? sca-ry.

mother's day tomorrow.

please mom, you've gotta stop being so negative. please.

Swimming with the Evil

look what i found in the fish tank at home?



no.way.



*gasps*

what the hell is hethat thing doing in there?!?

SWIM, FISHES! SWIM FOR YOUR FRESHWATER LIVES!

now, if i can just remember what my superpowers are...

clean and green. period.

singapore is such a clean country. so said many of the tourists or visitors who have visited this place.

clean? perhaps. good attitudes? i'd have to reconsider that thought. i believe i've written something like this before, somewhere, but i thought i'd just re-address this issue again.

seats on the bus. a bus contains 2 columns and many rows of seats. each seat sits two people. i believe i said two. and yet, for some reason, some people still like sitting on the OUTER seat, leaving the inside one empty.

now wait. it doesnt matter if the person looks at you standing, and offers to let you sit on the inside. that's totally fine. i mean, i get that this person might wanna save the hassle of squeezing out if his destination's not too far away.

but what irks me, and annoys me a hell lot, is when you're standing in a bus filled with people, and the person right in front of you is sitting on the outer seat, pretending not to notice anything. look out the window or fake being asleep. that's what they'll do. pretend not to notice anyone STANDING next to them. clever.

the worst thing comes, when that person gives you a damn eye contact, and then looks away...WITHOUT shifting their heavy asses in. still. a few hours ago, i was on a bus that had quite a few empty seats and yet, i was left to stand. why?

because some dingdongs chose to sit on the outside.

the best thing was, this lady sitting on the outer seat gave me eye contact. for 1 whole minute. okay, maybe she was staring. and what did she do after that? um, let's see. oh yeah, nothing. didnt shift in, didnt offer the seat on the inside. she just looked out the window.

i know that sometimes, all you gotta do is tell them that you wanna sit on the inside and they'll let you in. but i just think it should take some common sense and consideration on these people's part to volunteer to let you in, or shift their golden butts in. i dont think i'm making a big issue out of this. no, i dont.

just today, a friend told me that he almost came to school late because he couldnt board a bus that was too crowded. apparently, there were lots of people standing even though there were empty seats and the people standing wouldnt move all the way to the back.

inconsiderate. that's how singaporeans are.

it's true. just like how everyone rushes or pushes to get into the train even before train passengers can come out. tsk. inconsiderate. tsk.

of course, i'm not saying everyone's like that. there's plenty of friendly people to go around. like the old uncle living on the 9th floor. or the old man at breadtalk. or the waffles guy at budget cafe. those are all nice people.

but we've still got lots of improvements to make. lots. dont we?

clean and green. and that's just about it.