it was a typical friday afternoon...

i entered the train at city hall and stood at the area connecting the cabins together. this friendly looking elderly man came in and walked straight to the 2-seater area.

old man: excuse me. *points to sign above that says, "Please offer this seat to someone who needs it more than you do"* let me sit.

one lady stood up and gave him her seat. he gestured for the other lady to move as well. she stood up, and he put his bags and stuffs on the other seat. it was the first time i've actually seen an elderly person do that so i was quite amused. how cute.

bugis. this lady and her little grandson boarded. the adorable little boy ran around the cabin(stepped on my toes while at it) and talked to his grandma about umbrellas or something. the old man smiled at him as the boy noticed the umbrella on his hand. the grandmother smiled and told the boy to call him "ah pek".

but what began as a polite gesture turned sour. you see, for some apparent reason, the old man got offended when that lady had called him an "ah pek". and then this scene began.

*in hokkien*
old man: what "ah pek"? what "ah pek"?
lady(grandma): *confused* huh? no i was telling him that he should call you "ah pek"..
old man: what "ah pek"? so rude! how can you anyhow call me that? huh? HUH? in taiwan, little boys call old men "ye ye", or "ah gong".. why must you call me "ah pek"? HUH?

of course, by then, that had attracted the attention of the entire cabin.

lady: what? was i wrong to ask him to call you an "ah pek"? was i wrong to be polite?
old man: "ah pek"?! you cant call me ah pek! why dont call me "ah gong"? in taiwan, blab blab blab blab yak yak yak yak(of course that wasnt what he said but that was what it sounded like to me after 5 minutes of his ranting)...
lady: crazy! *brings her grandson to stand at the other exit* *speaking to the rest of the people in the cabin* was i wrong to call him an "ah pek"? i was being polite, wasnt i? why cant i call him "ah pek"?
old man(shouting at her): blab blab blab blab "ah pek", yak yak yak yak "ah gong", blah blah blah blah blaaaaah

by then, people from the other cabins were all looking in, wondering what the whole ruckus was. after another 3 minutes, the old man was still at it while the lady couldnt wait to get off the train.

this refined looking caucasian guy stood up and walked to the old man.

caucasian: here. take a dollar and shut up.
old man(in english): what? you go away! i dont want your dollar. go! not your problem, why you come? huh? you think i dont know english ah? go away ah. she call me "ah pek"(here we go again) blah blah blah... what your problem?

the guy walked back to his seat, absolutely annoyed, while the old man continued his ranting out loud, this time, at the caucasian too. the thing was, he continued the "ah pek" complain even after the lady got off the train with her grandson.

random student: shut up.
old man: *looks out* what? who called me to shut up ah? who? you got problem ah? you rude ah! what shut up?
random man 1: the whole train wants you to shut up.
old man: what whole train? not happy ah? call the captain come lah! call lah!
random man 2: ok, hey, boy boy? boy boy? keep quiet, ok?
old man: you keep quiet ah! (and yet another 10 minutes of constant ranting)

the indian tourist(with 2 huge luggages) sitting opposite him tried avoiding eye contact.

5 minutes later...
old man(to tourist): you know what i argue about just now? that woman ah, call me "ah pek". you know in taiwan, jdgaklifgoqaivunak fjasdfkbaiuefhgla adjhfalsdkhjfsaM...
old man: and then, that one*looks at the caucasian*, want to give me money. for what? i dont want your money. those europeans ah, fair skin, huh, all that high education..for what? think i dont know how to speak english ah? i can speak english a bit you know!

by then, the caucasian guy could not be bothered anymore. the old clown finally got off at tampines. hah. "CUTE". i take that back. some people on the train were annoyed, some were amused, and some were so annoyed that they were amused.

me? i spent the entire time with my head lowered, cap pulled down to cover most of my face, while i, you know, laughed my ass off. what a torture, to have to laugh alone. oh yes, i also happened to be soaked like a peking duck.

just like i said, it was a typical friday afternoon...