The hunt is officially over.
Finally. :)
26 March 2012! *breathes*
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
2 Feb 2010: The Hunt
It's been almost four months since I graduated and got my Bachelor's degree. It's also been four months since I started looking for an official full-time job. And still, nothing. NOTHING at all. No interviews. No calls. No emails. Nothing. No, wait, scratch that. There were emails. Three, in fact. Emails of rejection. Yes. What else? Oh right, nothing.
I'm losing faith, confidence, and hope.
I'm not giving up, but this sucks. Really.
I'm losing faith, confidence, and hope.
I'm not giving up, but this sucks. Really.
Friday, September 9, 2011
9 Sep 2011: Where you lead, I will follow.
losing a loved one. how does one cope with that?
having attended two funeral wakes within these past two months have shown me how scary cancer can be. but do you know what is scarier than cancer? losing your mother to it.
i cant even begin to imagine the pain of losing a mother. my mother and i... we're close. i mean, really close. i tell her everything. well, mostly everything. she knows the names of my friends. she knows what goes on in my life most of the time. she even knows when i'm having my period. in fact, i talk to her so much that she sometimes has to shut me up because she cannot hear what the people on TV are saying.
so we dont say "i love you", or hug and kiss each other. but that's just the way our family rolls. i used to stand on my bed and kiss my mother on the cheeks every night while she tucked my t-shirt in to prepare me for bed. i used to kiss her and say, "goodnight, mommy," before she tucked me in. but as i outgrew my bed, and outgrew my pjs, i outgrew the habit of kissing her on the cheeks too.
but that didnt change anything. i still say my goodnights. perhaps without the "mommy" at the back, and with a little punchline or two right before that. sure, i make fun of her once in a while...okay, more than once in a while. and of course, i sometimes play the extra mean card by watching the next episode of some korean drama without her(because she needs to sleep as much as she wants to watch it) and telling her that i am going to do that while she's lying on her bed, ready to go to sleep. and we're not exactly Lorelai and Rory (age gap and talking speed wise). but we're still really close. and i think the older i get, the closer we become as well.
a mother is a girl's best friend. i mean, there's also the daddy's-little-girl concept. but my mother is my best friend. and i cant begin to imagine how it would feel if i were to lose her. even at 23. even if i'm 33. or 43. or 53.
with all that said, we all know that life is unpredictable. death, on the other hand, sometimes is. even so, the pain of having to deal with it is still hard to bear. i just hope that the people who had to go through that would find that bit of strength in their lives to carry on. i really really do. i guess we really have to appreciate the people we love while they are still around.
and if my mother happens to come across this for some reason one day:
mommy, i love you. :)
also, i'm going to watch episode 27 so, HA-HA.
having attended two funeral wakes within these past two months have shown me how scary cancer can be. but do you know what is scarier than cancer? losing your mother to it.
i cant even begin to imagine the pain of losing a mother. my mother and i... we're close. i mean, really close. i tell her everything. well, mostly everything. she knows the names of my friends. she knows what goes on in my life most of the time. she even knows when i'm having my period. in fact, i talk to her so much that she sometimes has to shut me up because she cannot hear what the people on TV are saying.
so we dont say "i love you", or hug and kiss each other. but that's just the way our family rolls. i used to stand on my bed and kiss my mother on the cheeks every night while she tucked my t-shirt in to prepare me for bed. i used to kiss her and say, "goodnight, mommy," before she tucked me in. but as i outgrew my bed, and outgrew my pjs, i outgrew the habit of kissing her on the cheeks too.
but that didnt change anything. i still say my goodnights. perhaps without the "mommy" at the back, and with a little punchline or two right before that. sure, i make fun of her once in a while...okay, more than once in a while. and of course, i sometimes play the extra mean card by watching the next episode of some korean drama without her(because she needs to sleep as much as she wants to watch it) and telling her that i am going to do that while she's lying on her bed, ready to go to sleep. and we're not exactly Lorelai and Rory (age gap and talking speed wise). but we're still really close. and i think the older i get, the closer we become as well.
a mother is a girl's best friend. i mean, there's also the daddy's-little-girl concept. but my mother is my best friend. and i cant begin to imagine how it would feel if i were to lose her. even at 23. even if i'm 33. or 43. or 53.
with all that said, we all know that life is unpredictable. death, on the other hand, sometimes is. even so, the pain of having to deal with it is still hard to bear. i just hope that the people who had to go through that would find that bit of strength in their lives to carry on. i really really do. i guess we really have to appreciate the people we love while they are still around.
and if my mother happens to come across this for some reason one day:
mommy, i love you. :)
also, i'm going to watch episode 27 so, HA-HA.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
30 Jun 2011: it's been a while. a long while.
to my dear stalker/neighbor/bandmate/in-law/friend/bitch-friend/fellow-POSS,
bon voyage. :)
you will be missed.
come back an aussie snob, and you're a dead man. :)
bon voyage. :)
you will be missed.
come back an aussie snob, and you're a dead man. :)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
20 Apr 2011: All the Stars and Boulevards
i'm leaving for Oklahoma in 10 days.
yet somehow, i'm not as excited as i should be. or as i thought i would be. to be honest, i don't think i'm even the least bit excited at all. and that's really strange.
some friends have started to countdown. some have started to pack. some are just plain excited. me? i think the most excited i felt over the past week was when i finally caught up with the rest of the world on Season 2 of Glee.
don't get me wrong. i've always wanted to go to the States (as we know from a certain green past). and this trip would be my very first trip there. in fact, this 3-week residency in Oklahoma was one of the reasons why i selected this course in the first place. and i'll finally get to go to LA. sunset strip, hollywood boulevard, disneyland...
...so why am i not feeling the excitement yet?
yet somehow, i'm not as excited as i should be. or as i thought i would be. to be honest, i don't think i'm even the least bit excited at all. and that's really strange.
some friends have started to countdown. some have started to pack. some are just plain excited. me? i think the most excited i felt over the past week was when i finally caught up with the rest of the world on Season 2 of Glee.
don't get me wrong. i've always wanted to go to the States (as we know from a certain green past). and this trip would be my very first trip there. in fact, this 3-week residency in Oklahoma was one of the reasons why i selected this course in the first place. and i'll finally get to go to LA. sunset strip, hollywood boulevard, disneyland...
...so why am i not feeling the excitement yet?
Friday, April 1, 2011
1 Apr 2011: Invented
it is april fool's day.
but today is a day that is way more meaningful than that.
not that april fool's day is meaningful at all. IT IS NOT.
today is the day that Jimmy Eat World performs live in Singapore. for the very first time.
but no, i am not going.
unfortunately, that is not an april fool's joke. unfortunately for me, that is.
so i've been trying to avoid all signs and posters that have been promoting this concert for the past couple of weeks. but facebook, oh, doggone facebook, keeps reminding me that there is an EVENT going on this week. yes, i clicked "maybe attending" back then. oh, harboring hopes like a fool, i was. believing in fairies even though i know they don't exist.
i haven't changed my RSVP status to "not attending". and i shall not...like that is going to change anything.
as i was typing this, i was reading the event page as well, and i just found out that the concert is going to be...three hours long. three hours. excuse me while i attempt to laugh this off nonchalantly.
at 8pm tonight, i am going to blast J.E.W. on my computer. this is as close as i can get.
if my mother comes in, i am going to get her to mosh next to me.
but today is a day that is way more meaningful than that.
not that april fool's day is meaningful at all. IT IS NOT.
today is the day that Jimmy Eat World performs live in Singapore. for the very first time.
but no, i am not going.
unfortunately, that is not an april fool's joke. unfortunately for me, that is.
so i've been trying to avoid all signs and posters that have been promoting this concert for the past couple of weeks. but facebook, oh, doggone facebook, keeps reminding me that there is an EVENT going on this week. yes, i clicked "maybe attending" back then. oh, harboring hopes like a fool, i was. believing in fairies even though i know they don't exist.
i haven't changed my RSVP status to "not attending". and i shall not...like that is going to change anything.
as i was typing this, i was reading the event page as well, and i just found out that the concert is going to be...three hours long. three hours. excuse me while i attempt to laugh this off nonchalantly.
at 8pm tonight, i am going to blast J.E.W. on my computer. this is as close as i can get.
if my mother comes in, i am going to get her to mosh next to me.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
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