Thursday, April 25, 2013

When life hands you lemons...

Oh, Life. You just don't let off easily, huh?

Just when I thought a situation was going to get easier and better, I get told news like that. Well, I'm no saint. I'm not going to pretend to smile and be all nonchalant about this, like it doesn't make a difference. So for the next 10 minutes, I'm going to rant, curse and sigh to myself quietly in my own room, under my pillow. Because the last thing I need is for someone else to rant, curse, and sigh along with me.

And then I'll stop, read a bunch of rage comics, watch cute babies laugh on YouTube, listen to Guy Sebastian's Don't Worry, Be Happy, and forget this shit ever almost happened. Because life can be a real bitch sometimes. And how do you deal with bitches? You take them to the back and slap them real hard.

No, wait. I was going somewhere with this...

Oh yes. When life hands you lemons, squeeze them into life's eyes and walk away with swag in slow motion like Dwayne Johnson does after a fight in

Saturday, March 23, 2013

...And I'm back.

It has been more than a year since I last posted something in here. Was going through some of my older posts when I realised how much I used to love writing. So here I am. Back in action. Like Arnold Schwarzenegger. But not for long, I guess. Not sure how often I'm going to come back to this page. Not that it matters.

So much has happened over the past year. I went from being cool to being extremely cool. Okay, no need for scoffing. Always thought I'd start off with a good joke. But certain things did change my life. They changed the way I looked at life and at myself. For a short while, I felt like a part of me died. But I'm glad it did, because a new part of me was born after. A stronger, tougher, better part of me.

Sometimes things just don't go according to plan. They just don't. And you feel like shit. Shit happens. It really does. You whine, you grumble, you curl yourself up like a little foetus in your bed and cry your eyes out while listening to "A Thousand Years", because strangely, listening to terribly depressing songs makes the depressed feel better. Or worse. Or worse but better worse.

But then you move on. Because wallowing in misery and self-pity, and beating yourself up over things that didn't work out isn't going to take you anywhere. You pick yourself up, write a song about moving on, and then you simply do. You will then discover how strong a person you are when you find it easier to get through each day as time passes.

Life really isn't about what you have, but how you choose to live it. Of course, it also helps to realise how awesome online shopping is. But that doesn't apply to everyone, I guess. Yay, Charlie Chaplin tee!

Friday, February 24, 2012

24 Feb 2012: The Hunt

The hunt is officially over.

Finally. :)

26 March 2012! *breathes*

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

2 Feb 2010: The Hunt

It's been almost four months since I graduated and got my Bachelor's degree. It's also been four months since I started looking for an official full-time job. And still, nothing. NOTHING at all. No interviews. No calls. No emails. Nothing. No, wait, scratch that. There were emails. Three, in fact. Emails of rejection. Yes. What else? Oh right, nothing.

I'm losing faith, confidence, and hope.

I'm not giving up, but this sucks. Really.

Friday, September 9, 2011

9 Sep 2011: Where you lead, I will follow.

losing a loved one. how does one cope with that?

having attended two funeral wakes within these past two months have shown me how scary cancer can be. but do you know what is scarier than cancer? losing your mother to it.

i cant even begin to imagine the pain of losing a mother. my mother and i... we're close. i mean, really close. i tell her everything. well, mostly everything. she knows the names of my friends. she knows what goes on in my life most of the time. she even knows when i'm having my period. in fact, i talk to her so much that she sometimes has to shut me up because she cannot hear what the people on TV are saying.

so we dont say "i love you", or hug and kiss each other. but that's just the way our family rolls. i used to stand on my bed and kiss my mother on the cheeks every night while she tucked my t-shirt in to prepare me for bed. i used to kiss her and say, "goodnight, mommy," before she tucked me in. but as i outgrew my bed, and outgrew my pjs, i outgrew the habit of kissing her on the cheeks too.

but that didnt change anything. i still say my goodnights. perhaps without the "mommy" at the back, and with a little punchline or two right before that. sure, i make fun of her once in a while...okay, more than once in a while. and of course, i sometimes play the extra mean card by watching the next episode of some korean drama without her(because she needs to sleep as much as she wants to watch it) and telling her that i am going to do that while she's lying on her bed, ready to go to sleep. and we're not exactly Lorelai and Rory (age gap and talking speed wise). but we're still really close. and i think the older i get, the closer we become as well.

a mother is a girl's best friend. i mean, there's also the daddy's-little-girl concept. but my mother is my best friend. and i cant begin to imagine how it would feel if i were to lose her. even at 23. even if i'm 33. or 43. or 53.

with all that said, we all know that life is unpredictable. death, on the other hand, sometimes is. even so, the pain of having to deal with it is still hard to bear. i just hope that the people who had to go through that would find that bit of strength in their lives to carry on. i really really do. i guess we really have to appreciate the people we love while they are still around.

and if my mother happens to come across this for some reason one day:
mommy, i love you. :)

also, i'm going to watch episode 27 so, HA-HA.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

30 Jun 2011: it's been a while. a long while.

to my dear stalker/neighbor/bandmate/in-law/friend/bitch-friend/fellow-POSS,


bon voyage. :)
you will be missed.

come back an aussie snob, and you're a dead man. :)

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

20 Apr 2011: All the Stars and Boulevards

i'm leaving for Oklahoma in 10 days.


yet somehow, i'm not as excited as i should be. or as i thought i would be. to be honest, i don't think i'm even the least bit excited at all. and that's really strange.

some friends have started to countdown. some have started to pack. some are just plain excited. me? i think the most excited i felt over the past week was when i finally caught up with the rest of the world on Season 2 of Glee.

don't get me wrong. i've always wanted to go to the States (as we know from a certain green past). and this trip would be my very first trip there. in fact, this 3-week residency in Oklahoma was one of the reasons why i selected this course in the first place. and i'll finally get to go to LA. sunset strip, hollywood boulevard, disneyland... why am i not feeling the excitement yet?