stopping by.

i know i havent been blogging for a while.

honestly, i think i kinda lost the will to for a bit. and yes, i believe that work has everything to do with it. the truth of the matter is, working has deprived me from alot of things. and no, it's not going out. on the contrary, it's my time at home.

i am -and everyone who knows me to bits knows this- an extremely homely person. and my home, my room, is my sanctuary. i mean, i could die on my bed. i could. i hope to.

a long, hard day at work would mean staring at the computer for 8 hours and 45 mins. also, about 75% of my brain cells are being destroyed by the end of the day. i come home tired. with that little bit of energy. almost, but not completely, burnt. i read up on celebrities screwing their lives up. i'm not proud of that, but at least i know my life aint that bad at all. i crash on my bed. it's daytime. back to work.

but work is work. i like getting paid.

you see, i only write for one purpose. to express myself. to let things out because it always makes me feel better. it doesnt matter if anyone even reads it. i like talking to myself. and hugging my bolster. which is also why sometimes my words dont make sense. because i write as the words come to my head. they have no relation, but that's it. i am as random as it gets.

find me my will.

the pimple.

ever get the feeling sometimes where, you're in a conversation with someone, and that person seems to be talking to you, but is really talking to the pimple on your face instead?

like how they pretend to be listening to what you have to say, when in their heads, they're actually going, "if only i could just...just...oh i wanna squeeze that thing so badly." so when they nod, dont be mistaken. they're not actually agreeing with what you're saying. instead, they're nodding in approval to the image of the zit being squeezed by their own hands.

yes, something like that.

it's almost like, "oh please, no one cares about what you have to say. we'd much rather talk to that prominent landmark on your face." you know, sometimes, you wish you could say, "hellooo. eyes up here please."

but then the big-chested ladies are already using that one.

and so your mother tells you not to squeeze it or it'll leave a scar. but if you dont, that's who (or what, rather) people are going to talk to over the next few days.

the best solution? i havent figured that one out.

perhaps a brown paper bag.
that's right. subtle.

and yet another one.

apparently, suicide has become a 'trend' in south korea lately.

it's a very disturbing trend.

i cant seem to ever fathom why some people can bring themselves to end their own lives. while the dying are struggling to live, the living choose to die. it's just not fair.

perhaps they believe that it's a form of escape. maybe for them.
so what about the pain that they've brought about to the people who loved them?

suicide is nothing but an act of selfishness.
it's not escapism, it's stupidity.

it has been slightly more than a year.

give life. not give up on life.