(RED)

i watched a really good program on mtv just now. it's called Thinkhiv: This Is Me. it's one of those few meaningful programs on mtv that does not involve dumping faeces on cars and getting wasted.

it's a 1/2 hour documentary with videos filmed by young people either infected with or affected by HIV. young people who were HIV positive talked about how their lives had been affected when their families and friends found out about their illness, or how people who knew would discriminate them. one that i remembered was this girl who was HIV positive, and she was filming her guy friend as they were walking.

*this is how their conversation roughly went*
**the friend does not look at the girl at all**

girl*behind the camera*: hey what do you know about HIV?
guy: i dont know. *bounces basketball*
girl: come on. what do you know about HIV?
guy: i dont know. that it's bad? *continues bouncing ball*

girl: why is it bad? who told you that it's bad?
guy: my high school told me that it's bad. why are you doing this anyway?
girl: i'm filming some documentary for..something. so it's bad? what would you do if you knew someone who's HIV positive? what would you do if i told you i was HIV positive?
guy: *bounces ball* i dont know..

girl: well i'm telling you now. i'm HIV positive.
guy: *bounces ball* (does not look at the friend at all)
girl: do you still wanna be my friend?
guy: *bounces ball* i dont know, yeah, maybe, i dont know, but i know i'm not going out with you.
girl: well i'm not going out with you either because you're not my type.

snap that, sista.

hi. you dont get HIV just by touching someone who's positive. you dont even get HIV by kissing that person. you only get it if you have sex with that person. so why the discrimination? fortunately, there were a few of them who had supportive acquaintances. one lady who was positive was even proposed to by her boyfriend. now that's the way, aint it?

alright, so these people made mistakes, but they're facing the consequences of their mistakes and it's a scary thing to deal with it alone. imagine the feeling when someone you counted on turns his/her back on you during your darkest hour. brrr. friend? or once friend? hmm. given the benefit of the doubt, i'd say friend. friend who just got shocked at the revelation and does not know what to do.

society needs to be enlightened about epidemics like AIDS. okay, okay. i know society already is, seeing that there are many organizations around creating AIDS awareness and stuff. still, i dont think it's enough.

just think about the innocent little kids who were born infected.

2007 will be a better year (even though i have a feeling it wouldnt)!

1988-2006

i left home today without realising that i was clad in an all-black attire. black cap, black shirt, black jacket, black pants, black belt, black slippers, black bag, black nails. i wasnt trying to be goth. it didnt occur to me at all.

as i was walking down interchange, i noticed a few people staring at me as they walked past. hi. i should've just held up a sign that said, "5 bucks if you can guess my favourite colour."

i would've probably earned 5 bucks since my favourite colour is green.

anyway, i really appreciated my friends and family for wishing me on my birthday, and even more for them to go all the way out to get me something.

anna and marcus got me a big bag(which i love because it's not too girlish and it's BIG) and A SET of quirky accessories in red and white. and knowing that i wasnt getting a cake this year, anna appeared at my door with a slice of bread spreaded with nutella(yum), WITH a little candle on top. sweet. bro got me a top(aww) and mom got me a pair of sneakers(let's see how long it takes before i put a hole in this one). lizhen got me a pillow(which i pretty much used as a bolster now). plus, we hung out at our usual place. it was nice. :)

[edit]: gee i cant believe i forgot to mention this. my friend called me up from australia to wish me and we chatted for a while. that really, really made the rest of my day.

thanks, everyone. your well wishes are deeply appreciated.

oh yes, i bought Razorlight's album. i'm still checking out their tracks but so far, i'm liking what i hear.

and now that i'm finally 18, it's time to...

look forward to being 30.

tis the season to be jolly. TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY.

christmas eve was great.

i spent the day at anna's baking christmas muffins and brownies. i swear her mother secretly owns a bakery somewhere.


chocolate chip and walnut muffins. yummalicious.


walnut brownies. burp.

later in the evening, we met up with marcus for our traditional christmas coffee at starbucks. and once again, of course, i had my traditional drink, Mocha Frapp. well, ACTUALLY, it's not exactly traditonal(since i have it everytime i'm in starbucks. regardless of the season) but it was a great piece of workcup of coffee.

and yes, went over to anna's place at night to catch...


for the third time.
and i still love it. actually.
um. *cough*

christmas day was a bore. christmas day was a chore. kind of pathetic in a sense. i spent the day doing...school projects. wow! it just had to be christmas! fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-lifeless. how apt.

the night was better. my family had some form of a "birthday" dinner at Riverside Indonesian Restaurant, and we ordered the same set meal that we ordered 2 months and 1 day ago. no regrets, people. the food was fan-ta-bu-licious(forgive me for my "___-licious" words. they should stop playing Fergie on the radio too often.). and pretty worth it.


before.


after.
yes y'all. make no mistake. my family can eat.

so anyway, i caught avril lavigne on trl last night and i just have to ask this question. WHAT HAPPENED TO MS LAVIGNEMRS WHIBLEY? click here to see her on trl recently as compared to 4 years ago. whatever happened to that angst-ridden teenager who smashed guitars and poured tomato sauce over a reporter's head?

*inner voice: "she got married." right. of course.
*outer voice: "but didnt she marry a rocker?"

on another note, something to do with school's troubling me and i wish i could just ignore it and say, "i'll worry later", but it's kind of impossible... NOW THAT EVERYONE'S TALKING ABOUT IT.

bah. bark.

Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

i had such a wonderful christmas eve.
pictures up soon.

all we need is love, actually.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

love.

2007

marcus made me do this.

1. Will you be looking for a new job?
should i skip school? i probably would if i could. hmm.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship?
good question. should i skip school? because i probably would if i could.

3. New house?
I DONT EVER want to move. unless it's to another country. :)

4. What will you do different in 07?
i'll exercise more. oh wait, tried that. i'll eat more. oh wait, done that. i'll eat less. nah. i'll learn to stand up for myself. i'll grow up.

5. New Years resolution?
maybe if i write down goals that i dont want to achieve, they might actually work.

6. What will you not be doing in 07?
graduating. keeping the world at my feet.

7. Any trips planned?
no. i'll start planning now. let's see. california...

8. Wedding plans?
to the hooker next door!<- um, marc.
not until my tv says yes.

9. What's on your calendar?
'06- The Simpsons
'07- my friend just gave me a Nickelodean one. *bounces*

10. What can't you wait for?
all the s*** to be over. i dont know what they are, i just feel them.
or um, you know, Christmas.

11. What would you like to see happen different?
no more global warming. no more wars. no more soppy dramas.

12. What about yourself will you be changing?
"oprah!"

13. What happened in 06 that you didn't think would ever happen?
all i can say is that it's not very nice.

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about?
definitely. i hope.

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06?
hmmm.

16. Will you start or quit drinking?
i dont drink.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family?
yes.

18. Will you do charity work?
if i can.

19. Will you go to bars?
unless i have to.

20. Will you be nice to people you dont know?
um, like walk up to strangers and give them a hug?
oh, nice. not affectionate. but of COURSE!
unless they're not.

21. Do you expect 07 to be a good year for you?
i want it to. very much. very, very much.

22. How much did you change from this time last year til now?
i've become more independent.

23. Do you plan on having a child?
sure. IN FUTURE.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with?
yes. dont curse.

25. Major lifestyle changes?
final year of poly education. IT SUCKS.

26. Will you be moving?
i do not WANT TO MOVE.

27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 07 that happened in 06?
to care less abt issues that shouldn't bother me at all. <-yes!

28. What are your New Years Eve plans?
class chalet. my countdown with friends. my friends.

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight?
no. *puckers up*

30. Wish for 2007?
happiness. loads and loads of it.

deck the halls with boughs of creepy people

i was walking around tampines area with a pal yesterday. now can someone please explain to me...


why on mother's earth was tampines mall so packed?

and that was only the first level.

oh wait.
it was a saturday, and it was the eve of christmas eve. which meant, last-minute christmas shopping. *knocks self in the head* what was i thinking hanging out in such an overbearing environment? i guess i thought i was strong enough. tsk. such a fool.

*points at "dislikes" list*
i know, it's retarded to own a "dislikes" list and it makes me 12. not the point.
i fear crowds.
where are my pills?

on a lovelier note, i went to my primary 6 class gathering yesterday. things were kinda awkward at first but i guess everyone kinda warmed up as time passed. how often do you get to hang out with people who knew what you were like when you were 12?

some of them changed alot, some a little, but i for one know that i look the same. and so i've been told by the rest of the world. and by that i meant my teacher who taught me from primary 1 to 6. and the rest of the world.
dang.

p.s.: babies are adorable and child stars should never grow up.

alright folks, more random malaysian pictures!

Zealand Cafe? hmm.


some trishaw man in the middle of the road. interesting.


pssst. saw this standing in the middle of the sea when it was low tide. was it put there during world war 2?


Sin Chew Daily. i found you.


Sepang F1 Circuit.


this looks alot like Raffles Hotel.


penang's newspaper.


going up penang hill. just how high was it?


this high.


they have a newton too.(melaka)


another random picture that i took from inside the car.


heaven sent.


cheap but tasty food with a great boss.


"fried bihun"


dog eat world.


how often do you see this on the roads in singapore?

and finally...


the crazy family has returned for more portugese egg tarts.
yes, we bought them all. plus another tray with 4 more.
you should've seen the priceless look on the cashier's face.
i see yours.

now we know what we'll be eating for breakfast for the next few weeks.

selamat datang

ola. i'm back. apart from the disastrous/hilarious road systems, the trip was great fun. and it wasnt even as expensive as we thought it would be. oh yes, i survived the 9 hour car-ride there.. AND BACK. and everything else in between.

on our way there, we stopped by melaka's mcdonald's for lunch and who did i see? this guy from school queueing up behind us. MY SCHOOL! in melaka! he kept staring and i kept looking. i guess we were both probably wondering the same thing. so anyway, before we left, he finally asked me if was from tp. and then we realised something. we were in the same french class. so technically, we were classmates. talk about coincidence. what are the odds?


the mac that we met.
i had the double cheeseburger meal. it's 3 sing dollars.
bloogy cheap.


i took this random picture as i was gazing out the window after running out of things to do in the car on our way there.


the tiniest nasi lemak i've ever come across. it's only RM1.


view from my hotel room.

we visited this temple called Kek Lok Si Temple(it wasnt planned), and boy, was it beautiful.


the view looked like china. and yes, by then my ears were blocked. it was waaay high.

we needed to take this inclined lift to see the statue of the goddess of mercy.

i felt like charlie in charlie and the great glass elevator(my favourite roald dahl book!).

ok skip that. there're too many pictures on that.

now the food? dang. it was delicious.
we had local food for 3 dinners, so we decided to have one meal at the hotel's cafe.


day 3's dinner- before.


after. burp.


bro's dinner. damn. i should've ordered this instead. not that mine was bad, but that DAMN BEEF PATTY'S mama-licious!

this is random.

last time i checked, there was nothing "upstairs". unless they meant the trees. now about the trees...


we've been on the run, driving in the sun, looking out for number one. california here we come, right back where we started from...

ok i'm too lazy to put up more stuffs right now. i've taken way too many(way way). maybe next time. i'll put up pictures of the sepang f1 circuit as well. vroom.

i think i might just have to kowtow to my dad and brother for being able to drive us there, around, and back. maybe an extra salute to my dad. his navigation scores 100%. as for my mom, all she had to do was sleep. or say something. anything. because we laughed at everything she said.

after this penang trip, melaka just doesnt seem that far away at all. and woodlands? it's just 20 mins from home.

arrivederci

ah. finally. the day i've long awaited for is here. well, will be here.

come tomorrow, i'll be heading off to penang. the last penang trip i had was 5 years ago. 5 YEARS! and somewhere along the way something happened to me as well so it wasnt really a good experience. hopefully this time, it'd be a great one. *crosses fingers*

but that's not the point though. the point is, i'll be getting out of singapore. that's the whole idea. :)

my only question is: what shall i do in a car for 8 hours?

i cannot remember what i did the last time. i've brought my december issue of lime magazine(WHICH i have tried to refrain myself from reading for this trip) and 1(out of the other 60) archie comic. hm.

yes, i need to bring more.

will be back on this island on tuesday(o.c. will be back too. awesome). ciao for now.

p.s.: and i miss my snobby little junkbucket!

the darkness.

"does this darkness have a name?
this cruelty, this hatred?
how did it find us?
did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it?
what happened to us?
that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war,
hoping for their safe return,
but knowing that some will be lost along the way.
when did we lose our way?
consumed by the shadows;
swallowed whole by the darkness.
does this darkness have a name?
is it your name?"

just give me a few more years, rockefeller.

so you think you can dance?

allison and ivan

my favourite couple. they dance so perfectly together.

contemporary Why

dancing Contemporary to Annie Lenox's "Why". what a beautiful performance (this is the best video i can find). love, love, love it!

Benji and Donyelle

2nd favourite. chemistry.

i already know who won, but i love them all anyway.
especially spunky hottie and little cutie.

i cant dance! damn it. guess i should just stick to singing.
oh wait, i cant do that either.

i really should be studying right now.

note how i refused to talk about my papers today.

they made my day

Ellen and the Vacuum Kid


ellen- kid presidents expert


seriously, can i take them home?
they'll add to my collection that already has Little Ant & Dec.
no, seriously.

in the name of...

competition, Competition, COMPETITION.

if i spend my whole life competing, then i ain't got no life.
but i got one.

stressed up.

"At this moment, there are six billion, four hundred seventy million, eight hundred eighteen thousand, six hundred seventy one people in the world.

Some are running scared.
Some are coming home.
Some tell lies to make it through the day.
Others are just not facing the truth.
Some are evil men, at war with good
And some are good, struggling with evil.
Six billion people in the world,
six billion souls.
And sometimes…
...all you need is one."

tis the season to be jolly.

still counting down

knowing that i was looking for fabrics with patterns on them, my grandma(mom's mom) went home and scoured for fabrics around the house and brought them to my mom the next day to pass them to me.

thing is, those fabrics could not be used for my project because they werent in colours that i was looking for, and they werent the right kind of materials that i needed.

but i loved my grandma for doing that. she's such a cutie. when i saw the fabrics, i realised that a couple of them were actually bedsheets. so grandma had actually given me portions of bedsheets with patterns on them.

HOW CUTE IS THAT?

i love her.

anyway i'm in the mood again for christmas movies. you know, the typical happy-family-love-awwness kinds. i dont know, it just feels like it's something i gotta do at christmas. so far i've caught Christmas with the Kranks and Surviving Christmas on HBO this week(i know, those movies are way overdue). and as typical and predictable they were, i still enjoyed watching them.

it's christmas, i tell you.
and nobody ruins christmas for me.
no one shall!
unless you're the grinch. or jack frost. or britney spears.
(i just totally offended someone by saying that.)

19 more days!

are we trippin' yet?

tree hill 4 episode 9 was so flippin' awesome and heartwrenching to watch that i almost forgot my term tests are in 6 days.

somebody shoot me.

27 days to 2007. 20 days to christmas. 19 days to traditional eve coffee. 11 days to malaysia. 6 days to term tests. 4 days to anna's takeoff. 3 days to friday(episode 10). 2 days to mobcomp and lab test. 1 day to moodboard submission. 10 hours to school.

uh. and a partridge in a pear tree.

i hate counting down.

mocha chill gave me stomach kill.
damn you, big brown carton.

Dear Santa,

it's been 2 years.

come on.

still waiting,
Seige

school's a bitch. simply put.

met up with a couple of close mates that i havent seen in a while just now. it felt good. it felt good to just hang out, talk, laugh and think about things other than school.

i'm missing a friend right now.
maybe it's because the year's ending.

school's been a chore recently.
not that it has never been one, but it's just been a real bitch lately.
i am mortifyingly-traumatised just at the thought of it.

that's right, i said, "mortifyingly traumatised".