Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.
Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
And now you're out there spinning...
And now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
And the silence,
or your secrets, well
raise a worry hand.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...
Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...
- In The Deep, Bird York
Bothered.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Sunday, June 25, 2006
*coughs*
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
as if.
i eat at least 2 apples a day and yet i've fallen sick twice within these 2 months. it's ridiculous. i'll probably die before i turn 40 if i carry on at this rate.
i came down with a slight fever on wednesday night, and on thursday, my temperature rose to about 38.4 degrees celsius. i had to go out on thursday afternoon (where i met a really interesting old lady on the bus on my way back. but i'll tell that story another time.) to post some stuffs and i decided to get myself a strawberry fair fresco drink. dang, my throat never felt so good. that is one mighty fine drink! but when i got home, my temperature rose to a 38.6. i thought it was supposed to cool me down. yeah whatever.
going to school on friday with a high fever wasnt exactly a good idea but i didnt feel right not going because i didnt want to miss out on what's going on. we didnt really do alot then but i'm glad we didnt because i think my brain cells stopped functioning for a bit. the aircon in the lab didnt do me any favours. i was shivering under my hooded sweater so much, my friend thought i looked a lot like Charlie of the show, LOST. like a drug addict. i could imagine.
then they told me there were red spots around my eyes that looked like mosquito bites but i figured it was just the flu anyway so i brushed that concern off. i mean, you would probably think so too, right? but damn, the fever was getting to me by then. it seemed as though i was a little delusional. cuckoo. cuckoo.
when i got home, i immediately sponged my head with a cold cloth and covered my eyes with it til i fell asleep. but that wasnt going to do any trick. when i woke up upon the return of my mom, my eyes could barely open. i could feel a thick, heavy layer of skin almost laying on top, disallowing me to open my eyes any further. the entire area around my eyes had actually swelled up so bad that my double eyelids became single. i looked like crap.
on our way to the doctors, people we walked past kinda stared at my eyes for a bit before quickly looking away. now i know how it feels like to have people staring at you because you look different. yea my eyes swelled up because i've too much fire inside them and i'm trying to control it before they shoot out like superman's, ok? freaks.
turns out i'm allergic to panadol. it seems i cant take 2 at a time. i think i was actually amazed when i heard that. i mean come on! i've never heard of anyone who's allergic to panadols! they're panadols! i've taken them so many times before. OH..okay. two panadols. sheesh. but Doc did mention that swelling eyes might cause breathlessness which kinda freaked me out a little. and my temperature rose to 39.1 degrees, i started reminding myself what my name is in case i burnt my brain. that's one crazy ride.
but i felt much better yesterday, and fever actually went down last night when my friends came over for some reason. they ended up watching the world cup according to previous plans(which was later cancelled due to me falling ill, and then somehow went accordingly again) and eventually, stayed over. that's like, 5 people, who i presume, have "strong body immunity"(so they say), over. my house became ahotelhostel overnight. good times.
my temperature seems to be rising again. the damn heat.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
...."psyched."
as if.
i eat at least 2 apples a day and yet i've fallen sick twice within these 2 months. it's ridiculous. i'll probably die before i turn 40 if i carry on at this rate.
i came down with a slight fever on wednesday night, and on thursday, my temperature rose to about 38.4 degrees celsius. i had to go out on thursday afternoon (where i met a really interesting old lady on the bus on my way back. but i'll tell that story another time.) to post some stuffs and i decided to get myself a strawberry fair fresco drink. dang, my throat never felt so good. that is one mighty fine drink! but when i got home, my temperature rose to a 38.6. i thought it was supposed to cool me down. yeah whatever.
going to school on friday with a high fever wasnt exactly a good idea but i didnt feel right not going because i didnt want to miss out on what's going on. we didnt really do alot then but i'm glad we didnt because i think my brain cells stopped functioning for a bit. the aircon in the lab didnt do me any favours. i was shivering under my hooded sweater so much, my friend thought i looked a lot like Charlie of the show, LOST. like a drug addict. i could imagine.
then they told me there were red spots around my eyes that looked like mosquito bites but i figured it was just the flu anyway so i brushed that concern off. i mean, you would probably think so too, right? but damn, the fever was getting to me by then. it seemed as though i was a little delusional. cuckoo. cuckoo.
when i got home, i immediately sponged my head with a cold cloth and covered my eyes with it til i fell asleep. but that wasnt going to do any trick. when i woke up upon the return of my mom, my eyes could barely open. i could feel a thick, heavy layer of skin almost laying on top, disallowing me to open my eyes any further. the entire area around my eyes had actually swelled up so bad that my double eyelids became single. i looked like crap.
on our way to the doctors, people we walked past kinda stared at my eyes for a bit before quickly looking away. now i know how it feels like to have people staring at you because you look different. yea my eyes swelled up because i've too much fire inside them and i'm trying to control it before they shoot out like superman's, ok? freaks.
turns out i'm allergic to panadol. it seems i cant take 2 at a time. i think i was actually amazed when i heard that. i mean come on! i've never heard of anyone who's allergic to panadols! they're panadols! i've taken them so many times before. OH..okay. two panadols. sheesh. but Doc did mention that swelling eyes might cause breathlessness which kinda freaked me out a little. and my temperature rose to 39.1 degrees, i started reminding myself what my name is in case i burnt my brain. that's one crazy ride.
but i felt much better yesterday, and fever actually went down last night when my friends came over for some reason. they ended up watching the world cup according to previous plans(which was later cancelled due to me falling ill, and then somehow went accordingly again) and eventually, stayed over. that's like, 5 people, who i presume, have "strong body immunity"(so they say), over. my house became a
my temperature seems to be rising again. the damn heat.
"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."
...."psyched."
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
It's a Feet thing
had a barbeque at east coast park with some old friends yesterday. i wouldnt say we did alot of activities but i thought it was nice just gathering with old friends, especially some i haven't seen in a while. alas, i finally got to play a little bit of soccer. sure, it was a volleyball. too bad the 2 coconut trees were growing in such perfect distance to make a goal post.
anyway, my dear old green "Tsunami" flip flops have finally decided to give way(yeah it has "tsunami" written on it). after 6 long months of torturing heat and slippery grounds, it has finally retired. i remember how i got it. it saved me when my sandals spoilt as i was on my way to chinatown with mom. those lovely green things. it braved the rain with me, suffered under the brutal sun with me, fought to keep me balanced on wet grounds. that's until...the entire sole wore out completely a few weeks back. but no, i wasnt about to give it up. mom cut some holes in it to create friction. and yea, it totally worked.
but i guess, wearing a slipper that's already falling apart to play soccer's not exactly a good idea. heh.
oh well Greenies, you guys have been totally comfortable and great buddies, and now it's finally time you guys take a break. thanks for being my pals for so long...
...i'm gonna toss them out first thing tomorrow morning.
so uh, i guess you guys wanna give me the number to the psychiatrist now?
anyway, my dear old green "Tsunami" flip flops have finally decided to give way(yeah it has "tsunami" written on it). after 6 long months of torturing heat and slippery grounds, it has finally retired. i remember how i got it. it saved me when my sandals spoilt as i was on my way to chinatown with mom. those lovely green things. it braved the rain with me, suffered under the brutal sun with me, fought to keep me balanced on wet grounds. that's until...the entire sole wore out completely a few weeks back. but no, i wasnt about to give it up. mom cut some holes in it to create friction. and yea, it totally worked.
but i guess, wearing a slipper that's already falling apart to play soccer's not exactly a good idea. heh.
oh well Greenies, you guys have been totally comfortable and great buddies, and now it's finally time you guys take a break. thanks for being my pals for so long...
...i'm gonna toss them out first thing tomorrow morning.
so uh, i guess you guys wanna give me the number to the psychiatrist now?
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Teddy Geiger, An Intimate Session
thursday night was, how should i say it...oh yeah, awesome.
i'm talking about Teddy Geiger's mini showcase at Balaclava.
we reached pretty early, and by pretty early, i mean 3 hours earlier. dont scream at me for being freakishly early, because when we got there, a queue had already formed. i really wonder what time the first person got there. so yes, it was embarrassing at first, sitting outside a bar filled with working men and women, drinking and smoking, probably wondering what the whole fuss is all about. i think they were probably going, "Teddy who?" Teddy Geiger, my friends.
the door opened 15 minutes later than it said it would, and of course, we managed to enter. the place was a lot smaller than i had imagined it to be. i imagined inside to have chairs, you know, like high stools or something, and people would be sitting around tables as they watch the performance. turns out that was only for the outside. or well, they probably took away those stuffs just for that night. but it didnt matter. because i was inside anyway.
i got a pretty good view from my little corner. and it worked well because we were soooo close to the stage. an intimate session alright. but then again, the distance from the stage to the door wasnt that far.
waiting sucked. because there was no room for movement, and honestly, there wasnt much we could do. ...WELL, much. some pretty weird conversations were going on behind us and hey, when you're squeezed together like that, you cant help but overhear stuffs. it didnt help that the girl behind me kept nudging me with her bag. but all the sacrifices were worth it.
Carrie Chong looked really pretty and sweet in person. she hosted, by the way. and then, what i've waited for. Teddy Geiger. Flippingly talented, he sang and played the keyboard and the guitar, performing 6 tracks off his album. alone on stage, it was totally accoustic. what made the performance even better was that he actually sounded good live. it was totally worth it.
the audience chanted for an encore after he disappeared off stage, and he reappeared, ever so shyly. i'm glad he did, because he performed my favourite song off the album, *ahem* "Look Where We Are Now". that was the git baby! can you imagine how happy i was after that performance? just imagine. i'm not kidding! seriously, imagine.
so we saw singapore's dear old irish man, Shan Wee, and MTV vjs May and Choy were there too. um, and i uh..spotted Rina from 8tv(m'sian channel). no one around me knew who she was but hey, i watched her on my 8tv for a couple of months! i thought she was a pretty whacky host. a pity that she was smoking though. tsk, tsk.
right. back to our singer. so Teddy Geiger was given a zhongruan in between the show and i thought that was a really cool gift. so here're the pictures, courtesy of anna's camera. :)
one cool chinese guitar.
okay, how on earth do you play this thing...?
i wont be sleeping till i figure this thing out, for sure!
yes, i had a great time.
i'm talking about Teddy Geiger's mini showcase at Balaclava.
we reached pretty early, and by pretty early, i mean 3 hours earlier. dont scream at me for being freakishly early, because when we got there, a queue had already formed. i really wonder what time the first person got there. so yes, it was embarrassing at first, sitting outside a bar filled with working men and women, drinking and smoking, probably wondering what the whole fuss is all about. i think they were probably going, "Teddy who?" Teddy Geiger, my friends.
the door opened 15 minutes later than it said it would, and of course, we managed to enter. the place was a lot smaller than i had imagined it to be. i imagined inside to have chairs, you know, like high stools or something, and people would be sitting around tables as they watch the performance. turns out that was only for the outside. or well, they probably took away those stuffs just for that night. but it didnt matter. because i was inside anyway.
i got a pretty good view from my little corner. and it worked well because we were soooo close to the stage. an intimate session alright. but then again, the distance from the stage to the door wasnt that far.
waiting sucked. because there was no room for movement, and honestly, there wasnt much we could do. ...WELL, much. some pretty weird conversations were going on behind us and hey, when you're squeezed together like that, you cant help but overhear stuffs. it didnt help that the girl behind me kept nudging me with her bag. but all the sacrifices were worth it.
Carrie Chong looked really pretty and sweet in person. she hosted, by the way. and then, what i've waited for. Teddy Geiger. Flippingly talented, he sang and played the keyboard and the guitar, performing 6 tracks off his album. alone on stage, it was totally accoustic. what made the performance even better was that he actually sounded good live. it was totally worth it.
the audience chanted for an encore after he disappeared off stage, and he reappeared, ever so shyly. i'm glad he did, because he performed my favourite song off the album, *ahem* "Look Where We Are Now". that was the git baby! can you imagine how happy i was after that performance? just imagine. i'm not kidding! seriously, imagine.
so we saw singapore's dear old irish man, Shan Wee, and MTV vjs May and Choy were there too. um, and i uh..spotted Rina from 8tv(m'sian channel). no one around me knew who she was but hey, i watched her on my 8tv for a couple of months! i thought she was a pretty whacky host. a pity that she was smoking though. tsk, tsk.
right. back to our singer. so Teddy Geiger was given a zhongruan in between the show and i thought that was a really cool gift. so here're the pictures, courtesy of anna's camera. :)
one cool chinese guitar.
okay, how on earth do you play this thing...?
i wont be sleeping till i figure this thing out, for sure!
yes, i had a great time.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Music Therapy
i used to say "Music is my salvation". that's because i loved music.
today, i realised, that music IS my salvation. because one simple song with great lyrics can make me feel 10 times better, like almost immediately. immediate effect, i say. Music therapy really works for me.
so i just discovered this band. well.. okay, i didnt discover them, and they're probably not that new or anything, but they're new to me, so yeah. anyway, they're called Augustana, and i find their stuff pretty appealing. to me, that is. it's my kind of music.
check them out:
Augustana
think i might get their album soon.
(i'm spending too much on cds!)
just randomly, i think a conversation with a friend earlier on reminded me that "we should never change ourselves to be someone else so other people will like us. why waste our lives being someone else we're not?" oh, and i think that smart women should never act dumb just because they think men would prefer a ditzy blonde to an intelligent brunette.
of course, i'm not smart. but i dont act, so that's a totally different story. it just means i'm stupid. dont read too much into it. haha.
i'll leave some lyrics of my newly fascinated song.
"You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
Well you said,
You don't know me,
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah.
She said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain. Oh yeah well
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of Sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah."
-Boston, by Augustana
today, i realised, that music IS my salvation. because one simple song with great lyrics can make me feel 10 times better, like almost immediately. immediate effect, i say. Music therapy really works for me.
so i just discovered this band. well.. okay, i didnt discover them, and they're probably not that new or anything, but they're new to me, so yeah. anyway, they're called Augustana, and i find their stuff pretty appealing. to me, that is. it's my kind of music.
check them out:
Augustana
think i might get their album soon.
(i'm spending too much on cds!)
just randomly, i think a conversation with a friend earlier on reminded me that "we should never change ourselves to be someone else so other people will like us. why waste our lives being someone else we're not?" oh, and i think that smart women should never act dumb just because they think men would prefer a ditzy blonde to an intelligent brunette.
of course, i'm not smart. but i dont act, so that's a totally different story. it just means i'm stupid. dont read too much into it. haha.
i'll leave some lyrics of my newly fascinated song.
"You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
Well you said,
You don't know me,
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah.
She said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain. Oh yeah well
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of Sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah."
-Boston, by Augustana
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Enough
i think, perhaps, it's time for me to say this.
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? come, tell me the fuckin' problem. please, just tell me so i can seriously understand you guys better. yay. please. ...oh, i'm sorry what? oh it's cool.. after all, it only affects me in every way. oh sure, i'm happy, carry on. it doesnt bother the shit out of me one bit. mmhmm. i love it when you guys do that. it's great. it's like music to my ears. beautiful music. great sound. here's an idea. how about cutting an album? oh my that's gonna be sooo cool. i'm 77% sure your album sales will SUCK. hoorah.
so okay. i see how come he always has to step up to try to mediate things. because i dont have the dumbass guts to do it. i dont even know what i'm afraid of. i dont know why i dont have the guts. i've actually been given so many rights in my position, but where has my gut run off to? i'm starting to think i was born without guts used for this area. i just take cover in patheticness, cursing and swearing to myself, slamming pillows and kicking my bed everytime this happens. i swear i get tired of it. i really do. i wish my inner Pink would come out.
and somehow, this happens even more now than it used to.
why?
why?
why.
OH MY GOD. stop rubbing it in already. why is it still going on? WHAT IS THIS? why on earth are you so sensitive? a 3yr old child will get over it in 5 minutes. should i perhaps, buy you candy so you would stop? let's all exchange roles now.
i am really tired of putting my ears to the door at night. i really am. i'm tired of being subtle. I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. but because i'm gutless, can you just stop this on your own? please. i am begging you. please. i'll give up anything. just please stop this. on second thought, i'm not giving up my guitar. it's too foolish.
i am only looking forward to Teddy Geiger's performance tomorrow night even more.
just stop it.
i wish for Pink.
WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? come, tell me the fuckin' problem. please, just tell me so i can seriously understand you guys better. yay. please. ...oh, i'm sorry what? oh it's cool.. after all, it only affects me in every way. oh sure, i'm happy, carry on. it doesnt bother the shit out of me one bit. mmhmm. i love it when you guys do that. it's great. it's like music to my ears. beautiful music. great sound. here's an idea. how about cutting an album? oh my that's gonna be sooo cool. i'm 77% sure your album sales will SUCK. hoorah.
so okay. i see how come he always has to step up to try to mediate things. because i dont have the dumbass guts to do it. i dont even know what i'm afraid of. i dont know why i dont have the guts. i've actually been given so many rights in my position, but where has my gut run off to? i'm starting to think i was born without guts used for this area. i just take cover in patheticness, cursing and swearing to myself, slamming pillows and kicking my bed everytime this happens. i swear i get tired of it. i really do. i wish my inner Pink would come out.
and somehow, this happens even more now than it used to.
why?
why?
why.
OH MY GOD. stop rubbing it in already. why is it still going on? WHAT IS THIS? why on earth are you so sensitive? a 3yr old child will get over it in 5 minutes. should i perhaps, buy you candy so you would stop? let's all exchange roles now.
i am really tired of putting my ears to the door at night. i really am. i'm tired of being subtle. I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. but because i'm gutless, can you just stop this on your own? please. i am begging you. please. i'll give up anything. just please stop this. on second thought, i'm not giving up my guitar. it's too foolish.
i am only looking forward to Teddy Geiger's performance tomorrow night even more.
just stop it.
i wish for Pink.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
The good ol' days
it's the World Cup and baby, the fever is on.
now dont get me wrong. i'm not one who would usually sit down to watch a soccer match on cable unless i have nothing to do. the World Cup is an exception partly because it happens only once every 4 years, and partly because it always happens during the june holidays.
onto normal occasions. now i dont hate the sport. i just dont like sitting around watching a game if it's going nowhere. and by that, i mean no one's attacking or scoring. in fact, i prefer playing the sport more than watching it. i miss the good ol' sec school days where my pals and i would run around the field during p.e. with the soccer ball. i miss that. i want to play. but no one seems to be free for that. i mean, well DUH, i'm not great or anything, but i like playing it. i dont mind getting dirty and being tackled if i have fun. i miss soccer. i miss kicking. i miss my soccer mate(jean ;p). i miss... oh wait, i think my bro just bought... a new soccer ball. hmm. *harbours designs on it*
i remember the England vs Brazil match in 2002. i actually skipped *coughs* ahem, something*coughs* (Anna, shhh) just to watch that match. it was cool though, because my cousins came over, we had pizza, and hey, Brazil won. :)
Germany '06!
now dont get me wrong. i'm not one who would usually sit down to watch a soccer match on cable unless i have nothing to do. the World Cup is an exception partly because it happens only once every 4 years, and partly because it always happens during the june holidays.
onto normal occasions. now i dont hate the sport. i just dont like sitting around watching a game if it's going nowhere. and by that, i mean no one's attacking or scoring. in fact, i prefer playing the sport more than watching it. i miss the good ol' sec school days where my pals and i would run around the field during p.e. with the soccer ball. i miss that. i want to play. but no one seems to be free for that. i mean, well DUH, i'm not great or anything, but i like playing it. i dont mind getting dirty and being tackled if i have fun. i miss soccer. i miss kicking. i miss my soccer mate(jean ;p). i miss... oh wait, i think my bro just bought... a new soccer ball. hmm. *harbours designs on it*
i remember the England vs Brazil match in 2002. i actually skipped *coughs* ahem, something*coughs* (Anna, shhh) just to watch that match. it was cool though, because my cousins came over, we had pizza, and hey, Brazil won. :)
Germany '06!
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
Look who returned
how long has it been? like 3 weeks? yes, i think that's how long my computer at home has been down.
wow it feels like ages. i dont even know what to write. there were plenty of things i wanted to blog about in the past 2 weeks, but i couldnt, and now i just cant be bothered to.
i know that some serious things are happening to some of my closest friends(you guys know who you are) and i hope they can really hang on. just let me complete my damn term tests and i'm theirs. please hang on, guys(zhen). i'll be there, i promise.
just one more thing to add. teddy geiger's performing at Balaclava next Thursday, and i'm going. awesome.
wow it feels like ages. i dont even know what to write. there were plenty of things i wanted to blog about in the past 2 weeks, but i couldnt, and now i just cant be bothered to.
i know that some serious things are happening to some of my closest friends(you guys know who you are) and i hope they can really hang on. just let me complete my damn term tests and i'm theirs. please hang on, guys(zhen). i'll be there, i promise.
just one more thing to add. teddy geiger's performing at Balaclava next Thursday, and i'm going. awesome.
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