so school begins in 1 day's time. ok tomorrow.
funny. i didnt think that i would feel any post-holiday blues because i have been going to school at least twice every week, since the beginning of the holidays. but strange enough, i'm feeling something.
i dont think it's the blues though.
i'm nervous. yea, that's it. nervous shit. this whole S.I.P. thing's dead serious and i'm starting to feel the pressure slowly sipping through my veins.
you have to complete this. you have to be able to do this. you have to produce something by this deadline. you dont and you fail. you're gonna screw up.
last night, i told my mom that i thought i was watching too much american tv. too much, leaving me the impression that life is just that simple after high school. after college. you move on. pursue your dreams. be an artist. be a dancer. be a singer. a fashion designer. work at a deli. sell coffee. be a banker. be a wedding planner. be the boss of a big company. doesnt matter. take things easy. you'll get by.
it doesnt quite work out that way here, does it? you cant just "get by", can you?
everything's a competition. you "get by" and you're behind. but what if i said that i would be contented with just "getting by"? now i'm the girl with no dreams? no ambitions? or just someone who's too scared to look forward to the journey that she's about to embark on, that she's willing to settle with just "getting by"?
well, i'll tell you what it is. i'll tell you the truth. i've always lived with the thought- ever since i could think- that i'll be contented with just "getting by". yes i have. but i have ambitions too. i just, dont see the need for luxury. and the damn competitions. unless it's a competition to see who burps loudest. so what do you make out of this?
i have no idea.
i need to listen to some imogen heap.
it's nearly 2 am. you think alot at times like this. or maybe i just do. i also think about what to eat even though i've brushed my teeth and it's 2am. and what breakfast i should have tomorrow. i'm thinking pancakes. and pancakes make me smile. and hungry.
shoot. i'm hungry.
4 comments:
question. isn't monday labour day?
that's gross if they make you go to school on a holiday!
anyway.you're not the only one getting by.i, for one, am not even sure what im going to be in the future.and it's been bothering me for quite a while.
nope. labour day's on the 1st of may, which is next tuesday. and yea it's a holiday. there's NO WAY i'll go if they make me.
it's really bothering, isnt it? but at least you have 2 years to spend in NS before you have to really make up your mind.
guys can delayyyy. =x
let's just go busking. maybe we can make a living out of it. i TOLD you to but you refuseddddd!
yea babe. but first, we'll need a license.
and 2nd, we'll need to be able to ACTUALLY SING and not play CRAPPY guitar!
of course, we can always do the couch potato dance...
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