i have to stay back everyday to work on my java project. and at the end of the day, it always seems like nothing much was achieved. i dont think i'm entirely clueless of what to do next, but i think i just dont know how to continue writing them out. i mean...cant we just play the real "mastermind" game, dammit?
honestly, it sounds kinda ridiculous and wrong to still be questioning if what i'm taking now is the right one for me. and no, it doesnt seem right. it wasnt, and it's supposed to be now, but it's still not. i know i have to be sure, at the very least. i mean, i'm already in my 2nd year. i'm turning 18.
the thing is, right up to this very moment as i'm typing, i'm still questioning myself. would things be less easy if i had actually gone into something that i had real passion for? not neccessarily. but would it feel this miserable? to have to question myself everyday on this path that i've taken? definitely not. it wasnt a path that i've chosen. not technically. but i've taken it. i took it. have i, perhaps, set foot on the wrong route? yes, perhaps.
but i want to make this route right. i seriously do. guidance. that's what i want. someone who seriously knows this thing. someone who seriously knows, understands and appreciates what infocomms is all about. just that someone. this uneccessary stress would've been avoidable if i had just been a little smarter.i shouldnt have allowed myself to take up something i had little interest in(though i had little choice), but now that i've taken it, i dont want to regret it. i hate regretting. i hate regretting.
clueless? maybe. a lost sheep? perhaps.
this is wasting my brain cells.
...i just want to draw.
9 comments:
hey babe? i actually asked myself this question to...but maybe, we always tink of the "damn! again! java...etc" but we kind miss out the part whereby "hey! i can do this shit now!!! i couldn't do it back then" yea i noe...sound stupid...but yah, we manage to mk it this far rite? and surprisingly...no matter how bad we did, we got it in the end!!! yea thats the bonus...so hmm...seriously i tink you infocomm? it has a BRIGHT future. No Kiddin. but if u really wanna change path or sumting? do it in the DEGREE section...yea...dun give up...U GO GIRL...
well what priscilla said do make sense..
frankly we can talk about this forever, like whether you took the wrong route should you change a course and all that stuff. why i say that? because there are many alternatives and opinions etc etc.it's like a neverending flow.
so what i think you need here is that you ask yourself what you really want. i'm pretty sure your parents and friends will be supportive.
though we might not be so close but you got my support here for whatever you're gonna do.
if i'm correct i have seen stuff you draw. girl, you draw good! i wouldnt mind just watching you draw all day! seriously! so why not in your free time do up some pieces and i mean real proper. like on drawing paper or canvas and stuff. after that keep them like treasure! make an on-going portfolio. your portfolio might open up doors for you in the future, you never know.
well in terms of your current situation, i wish i could help you. but i know what is java like.
well just some honest opinions here.
pris> yeah it's true that there are stuffs that i could do now that i didnt before. but that's what going into poly is about. new courses. new stuffs. and yeah infocomms is growing in the industry now. got future.
but still, i'm not convinced that i would want to do infocomms when i'm working. and that's a problem.
(am considering taking up art/ design courses after poly...if i can)
thanks though, for your comments babe. :)
ja> well i know my parents really want me to do well in this course right now cos of the future and everything.
i think they'd be apprehensive about it if i told them that i dont want to work this line. i think they already have in mind what my life could be like you know, when i get my diploma(IF I DO).
still, i know they'd try to be supportive later on, even though i'll know that deep down inside, they'd feel a little wasted. 3 yrs of poly with 3 yrs of school fees, and their daughter tells them she's not that into it. i mean, that's kinda disappointing dont you think?
my bro has his job future all planned out. he's found his direction and he knows what he wants to do, when he's going to make his big money, and how he's ready to, by then, buy us all a house.
and my parents are really relieved, and i suppose, happy that he knows what he's doing.
one child that has his life planned out, and another that still doesnt know which direction she's heading.
see what i mean?
thanks for the compliment on my drawings though. and the support. :)
ah i see the situation which you are in..
if you're meaning comparism within adults in your family be it your parents/relatives..i have been thru that too..
i hate it when people compare someone with another..i will get angry whenever someone does that..
anyway..regarding whether it's a waste of time and money, i guess what's done is done right?
personally i too am considering to do something related to the arts after NS that is..
but i dont want to think about all these yet..
i dont know where i'm going to go or what am i going to do in the future..and what type of job i would want in the future..
the course i went to wasnt really what i want but i just sticked it and made the best out of it..(i wanted to do design in TP)
though i get sick of it often i try not to stray from the line..after awhile i guess you wouldnt go think about these stuff anymore..
we reached this far i dont think it's wise to give it all up now because of just a minor setback right?
life never goes the way you want it, i'm pretty sure everyone knows this..
yes, many people do organise their life but there are many who dont either.(or you can say people organise their stuff at different times)
everyone thinks differently, it's just that there are times many share the same views.
what i think? finish the course, get the diploma. after that you have all the time in the world to decide.
time is given to us but we can never own it. ironic is it?
you're most welcome :)
well not comparison. my parents never liked comparing between family members, and frankly, everyone in my family's been supportive(because i'm the one in the family who's not as good in my studies).
but i feel like i'll be disappointing them because they've had their hopes set high for both of us you see. but of course, it's true. what's done is done. and i'm definitely going to complete this course before anything else.
i'm not really giving up. it's more of me being doubtful of what i've taken.
but i know many people out there feel the same way as i do right now. being 18 really gets one to think doesnt it? scary.
"time is given to us but we can never own it." i totally agree.
ooh..i see..sorry for the misinterpretation..
hmm..yea i guess being doubtful is natural
yup..i think many humans in the poly feel that way too..
well if you would like, i wouldnt mind meeting up and talk about stuff over coffee :D
but that is if we have time hahahahahaha
i guess i'll consider 18 year olds all around the world too.
yeah maybe we could some day. if we have the time. hah
woah woah woah...what have we got here...LOL...man...seriously i dun really noe what the hell am i doing in IT school too...LOL but hey ur life is for u to plan out...its actually like a piece of canvas(speaking in a context which is more the seige we noe). Theres already dots or whatever it is on the canvas = O'levels and in this dumb course. Now with all those marks...theres 2 way...
1. Erase it and start all again
= Maybe choose another course again and restart poly life. Worse, retake the Os. omigosh!
2. Continue but plan what u wanna do from those marks. Make it into a masterpiece.
So the whole shit is about u planning what u wanna do with ur life. Theres actually choices that we can make. Its jus whether u really wan it and then its the time factor. I mean if its the $$ issue then u jus go into that path slower coz u gotta work. So on and so forth...
So...maybe tk some time...Dun tink that far yet. it always get u very confused with what the future gonnna be for u...think abt the most immediate stuff first...i really dunoe what i am gonna work as also...the plans will slowly form as we grow...thats life...for now think slow...dun fret too much becoz it jus gets ur path blurer and blurer...no kiddin tried that already...aniwae...my uncle name is earnest chua whatever..so if u see him or sumting...tell me hes in engineering school
:x
love you babe, if you need to talk, feel free to gimme a call k?
i guess since we've already all chosen this path, i, too, often question myself if i've done the right thing taking these subjects.
since we've already done the choosing part, we might as well make the best of it. we try ot improve in areas we suck in and do the greatest of things and along the way we let the idea pop in and out if we wanna do this in future.
then you can also think about where infocomms can take you, what you can divert to in future. who knows you become an IT person in an artistic firm and in the end you get a chance to showcase your artistic talent and divert into a digital artist or something like that?
my bro's always thought of being an accountant for media firms and diverting into the media line. be flexible, he says, when i insist on going on to do mass comm. he said if i do mass comm, i'm stuck with it. hard to divert to others. but i believe business, accounting, info comms, quite divert-able.
give it some thought. don't think negative too quickly. it's possible, babe. it's possible.
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