ah yes. god answered my prayers. i woke up yesterday, and the pain, GONE! and he gave me an extra too. i got out of my room, and VOILA, RAIN! it actually rained!! all that grumpiness just left my body immediately when i saw those lovely drops of water from the sky. mmm..

work was alright. at least i could use the computer.. to um, draw stuffs(i told you there was no internet!) on "Paint". beats doing crossword puzzles that i've been doing for the past few days.hee.

met jean after work to buy stuffs at TM. now read this. she parked her bicycle at the stands in between tampines branch office and the interchange, and i saw her locking it. so an hr later..

me:" so where's your bike?(i didnt recognise her bike among all others)"
jean: " erm, yea. where's my bike?"

her bike got stolen! I cant believe someone could actually cut through the locks and steal a bike in front of so many people in broad daylight. gee. and the police here? not very efficient. took like an hr to get to the the interchange. An hour! unless they came from jurong, an hour is.. way too long. if i got stabbed, i'd have died. sheesh.

anyhow, i think i'm getting too used to life without school. it's gonna be exactly 6 months of break on May 23rd(school opens on 24th) since the 1st day of the hols. which is why while everyone else worked for the past 5 months and are taking their break now for the final month, i'm actually working for the final month. well, it's not that i wanted to, but now that i am, it actually gets me a bit ready for school i guess.for one, the waking up bit. at least i think i can make it to school on time now that i can wake up earlier than 11. heh. i think. the bus i take to work every morning passes Temasek Poly and everyday i'll be counting down to the day where i will actually be getting off at that stop.

time passes so quickly when u're slacking.

work today started out plain boring. i was all alone in the office sticking stickers for 500 bottles of moisturising serum. and my reciever chose the right day not to recieve any proper channel for my kind of music.

fine.

then i got a call and had to do some heavy stuffs. and i felt something after doing it. now i'm feeling all the discomfort and i think i physically hurt myself. the more i think about it, the more it pisses me off. in fact, i feel like shit now.physically. god, please let it be over by tomorrow.

fook.

it's been 3 yrs since i last got out of singapore.

it's been 9 yrs and nearly 5 months since i last took a plane.

I want to get out of SINGAPORE!

it doesnt have to be for good. JUST FOR A BREAK! i've been stuck in this tiny town in this tiny island for so long, i'm so sick of everything! i'm sick of going out because i've been to places around for nearly a million times, and it just gets more boring each time. and as much as i love my home, i'm sick of having nowhere else to go but home. i just wanna get out of singapore. that's all. it could be a 2-day trip to malaysia. i REALLY dont mind(ok, maybe a 3-day trip would be better). i need a break from this country. and according to what i've been told, we should be able to travel real soon..next year.

oh ggggrreeeaaaattt!

8 more months!whee.

i.am.so.sick.of.this.place. I'm stuck here, really.

on a lighter note, i'm really looking forward to the weekend! long weekend! now i get why a public holiday is like a gift from heaven to working people. ok i exaggerated. but to me, it seems so now! *grins* WEEKEND! WEEKEND! WEEKEND! *chants*

Random note: Hey the dude driving the dull silver/grey van downstairs, don't speed in the carpark,man. It doesnt make u look cool, especially if u're driving a van. And if u make that same loud noise u did just now tonight, u're an ass. :)

i just love Queer Eye For A Straight Guy. No, i didnt just rename the dating show Eye For A Guy. It's totally different. For one, it's US based. this show is funny, entertaining, interesting(in a "ooh..interesting" way) and best of all, it's gay.

I'm not insulting the show. In fact, the casts of the show self admitted to be gays on search for straight guys. No kidding. Sounds interesting? read on.

if u thought that this show was abt gays trying to look for partners? sorry to disappoint you, it's not. :) well it's actually about this 5 guys who at every episode, go to a "straight" guy's house and gets him ready for whatever BIG things he has on for the night.(eg. a party with girls coming over, impressing his boss or something.). So 1 guy's for grooming(how u should shave), one for styling(what u should wear), one for food and wine(what u should cook and can cook), one for interior design(to transform the pig sty into a chatteau) and one for culture(for erm.. well.. culture). lol.

so this is an all-guy show. it's all about guys. But i think more ladies watch it. because there're just soo many tips to learn, and best of all, the 5 guys(they call themselves the Fab 5) make u feel like, u've found ur best friends! lol. They basically transform BIG, TOUGH , ROUGH (and sometimes egoistic) guys into guys who're sentimental, stylish, clean, and cool. i dont know if u'll call that a good or a bad thing now, lol, but what attracts me is that guys get to have a different side too!! and it's really nice to see some guys really taking the effort to groom themselves before the event. i still say this... it's an all-guy show but it's such a lady friendly show.

i wish the Fab 5 could be my best friends. lol. they'll be like, my "sisters" i'm telling ya. Well actually, they're not GAY. they're just girlie.(but they admit so). courage man. the groomer and the cook arent that girlie anyway. it's just really the stylist who could really be my sister. he sashays when he walks, and demanded a kis from the straight guy at one episode. On the cheek that is. lol and the surprising thing was, it didnt even send chills down my spine. i just felt like it was a guy pecking a girl on the cheeks. CAN U IMAGINE THAT NOW? lol. love it.

now dont bother bugging me and asking me which channel it is on, because it's on the m'sian channel. hah. but u can always try tuning it if u want. or maybe mediacorp will show it one day.

if u werent so much interested in all that crap i just wrote, hah, i'm sorry u had to scroll past those. here's a few things abt my weekend. had a great one, because something really good happened that sent my parents grinning from ear to ear. and as for me? hey i benefitted to.*grins* i can't tell u. so dont ask.

anyway, we went to the supermarket yesterday and my parents did a "heineken" advert thingy. my mom was trying to reach for something on top of the shelf, and my dad came, took it down, stared at my mom, hugged the thing and walked away. hilarious i tell you.

okay i'm tired and head's bursting.

i'm so addicted to mocha right now. Random.

New Job old work?

working in the office aint that bad. it aint as boring as u think it will be.

well that's because u dont have time to be bored.

there was so much to be done. to start off, replacing stocks. getting them ready. looking for boxes. garh i hate that. climbing the ladder to take them down. so many boxes! but it's ok. cos i did my own little "map" of where the stocks were and which row it was, and which level and blah. :)

Filing. i have to say that as much as i hated filing worksheets for school in the past, i really didnt mind filing it today. i don't know why, but somehow it seemed different. plus, i get my own table. that's cool. (altho the comp doesnt log on to the internet =X ) loads of filing had to be done.

Faxing, photocopying, answering phone calls.Posting letters. Running errands. Stapling letters and putting them in their own groups.

i was getting all nerdy when i suddenly saw this letter that had my mom's name on it. and the letter behind, and the letter behind, and the one behind..and.. Oh. that was the filing that SHE did in 2000. and i'm re-filing it. i got more alive. hey, i was doing something my mom did! :)

and what makes this better than the last job i had?
i could break anytime i want. *smiles*

tiring as it is, but i could get use to this.

woke up at 1230 pm just now. 3rd time since last week. dont be surprised. i slept at near 4 last night(or this morning). and it's not that i wanted to. i just couldnt sleep. i've become so used to late nights, i have to sleep around that time now. what am i going to do when school starts? darn. tmr's my last chance to wake up in the afternoon though, cos dad's coming back from china tmr night. i shall read myself to sleep tonight. :)

anyway, i was flipping through The Straits Times and came across the article "US child sex criminals getting away with it". Plain disturbing. Pure, plain disturbing. i cant believe there could be so many cases of the same kind happening in the US. molesting children and then murdering them after that? and those cases just keep happening everywhere. i dont understand how those bastards manage to kidnap the kids playing right in their own backyards. i mean, right here in singapore, it's possible because we're living in HDBs and void decks are easy places. but in the US? I shudder even at the thought of it. Ruthless.

note to self: you still love the other stuffs about america. yes, you do.

You are PUNK! U like being around those who are
really close to u. You get depressed most times
but you just wanna live!You have alot of
feelings and thoughts inside that you keep to
yourself! sometimes you dont know who to trust.You have friends that believe in you and know the
real you, which means the most.Thanks, please rate

Are you GOTHIC, PREP, PUNK,UNIQUE (girls only)
brought to you by

mtv bull

i think Eye For A Guy 2 is going to be weird. it's not the show. it's denise keller being in it.

dont get me wrong. there's nothing wrong with her. in fact, she's really cool, and definitely a lot prettier than the last girl. what's her name? rachel..lee? yes (see i cant even remember her name). Plus, denise is a VJ on MTV Most Wanted. how much cooler can your road go?....Which is why i feel that her being on Eye For A Guy is so weird. cos i didnt think she'd need this to look for guys. i was always under the impression that she'd be the one making fun of the show than be on it.

What's up with VJs being on mediacorp shows? gee

anyhow, i think i'll watch the 1st episode and then decide if it's dumb. lol. (ps: she suits mark zee way better than rachel lee.) *grins*

WHICH REMINDS ME. MTV Most Wanted still owes me my Alanis Morisette CD!!!!! i won the cd and they were supposed to send it to me LAST MAY!!! c'mon u guys! where's my damned cd?!?

Trouble

i was reading the newspapers, and then it suddenly hit me.

What on earth is my father doing in China right now?!?

it's so freaking dangerous! god.

i am so in the "i-can-talk-so-fast-and-so-many-things-that-make-no-sense-and-are-basically-crap-and-not-breathe-in-between-a-super-long-senseless-sentence-with-weird-eye-and-hand-movements" mood right now.

i think cohen has something to do with this.

*WARNING*: if u have a political point of view, please do not read the following entry.

i think the whole c-j(they're country names) issue is a plain waste of time.

yes, if u guys hate each other, stay out of each other's way. don't do anything related to each other. back off each other's property and business. yes u have your differences, and i'm in no position to say who's right and who's wrong. what happened in the past, happened. u cant change history. but if u think by protesting and fighting with each other would help u gain back what u lost in the past(eg. dignity, pride), u're wrong. OK, maybe u will. but it'll also seem that another war will be inevitable. and then other countries will be dragged into e war too, and fathers, sons, brothers and husbands will all have to go to war. even tho that country didnt start it. and then women will lose their men and... OK NOW, WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT? Forgive me, i think too much.heh.

in other words, what i'm trying to say is,

DON'T BE RETARDED.

Why create one now when u took so much pain and time to end the last?

Now, i know many of u might think,"what the hell is this girl talking about?? there's no war brewing or going on!". but i'm just saying, certain unhappiness here and there might force one to happen. it can be prevented by us, but it can also be created by us.

i think it's time these Miss Universes and Miss Worlds come out to do something.

"WORLD PEACE."

u go girls!

Grandpa

for the first time in my life, i feel like i'm losing him. it never occurred to me, even when he suffered a stroke. because that was 4 or 5 years ago, and he's always been quite so normal. although he couldnt talk or walk anymore, he could still smile or frown to tell us if he's feeling okay. he used to grip my hand really tightly when i held his. he used to look at me and smile, as my mother re-introduced me to him to help him remember me. he always did. it might take a while, but he always did.

but yesterday, it disappeared. the regconisation. we went into his room and again, mom did the re-introduction thing. but this time, he just stared blankly at us, like we're some strangers. mom asked him if he regconised who we were, and he looked at us with his sunken eyes, and gave no reaction. i told mom that maybe he couldnt hear us, so she went to his ear, and asked again. no reaction. he just looked at us, and made no movement or facial expressions. mom said he probably did not regconise us anymore, and left the room. she's not showing it, but i know she's sad.

there i was, all alone in the room with him. for the first time, i really noticed how old he was. his face sunken, his eyes watery and shrunken, his arms and legs became so thin. he looked like one of the POWs. he's paralysed on the right side of his body, and he eats through a tube that goes through his nose. he laid on his bed with no expression, and when i held his hand, i couldnt feel any hard grip this time. he was looking at me, like i was some stranger holding his hand. i kept smiling at him and kept asking him if he knew me. no answer. he just kept looking at me. that was the first time i really felt connected to him. REALLY. for the other times, the age was just a number in my head that didnt bother me because he still seemed pretty strong. but this time, it felt that he was 95. and 95 IS old.

you might think that i'm bad, unfilial or cruel, but suddenly i feel that it'd be better for him, if...

he's suffering. u can see it. mom said it too. if he can walk, talk, or at least smile at me again, then there's no reason to. but he cant even say anything, not even a sound to complain to us. he cant get up to bathe or anything. the maid does everything. u can see that she's really tired too. i dont like the him suffering- in silence.

there's nothing i can say really,because i dont think he knows me anymore. but i love him. guess i'll just let nature take it's course.

Thursday:

8.30pm- Chase (Channel 5)
9.30pm- Everwood II (8TV)
10.30pm- The O.C. II (Channel 5)
11.30pm- One Tree Hill II (Channel 5)
12.30am- Everwood II (Channel 5)

is thursday gonna be like my best day or what?

leg muscles still sore from too much jumping.

i'm pathetic.