Teachers' Day

(hold your breath. this might be a long post.)


it's been 5 years since i was last involved in an especially special Teacher's day surprise party. i'll never ever forget that day, and i'll never forget my teacher's expression. that happy, smiling, grateful expression.


i went back to my primary school today for a little visiting.one of my teachers, Mrs C, was really surprised when she saw me and the feeling was actually quite amazing because she was my very first teacher in that school, and well, basically, she's the one who really watched me grow up, having taught me from p1 to p6. we chatted for quite a bit, and we agreed on one thing. i did grow from primary school, but my face never changed. lol i wonder if that's a good or bad thing.


so onto the teacher whom we held the surprise party for. my p6 form teacher, Mrs S. this teacher changed my life, i'm telling you. okay, she didnt change my life. but she made an impact on it, and she's one of the best teachers i've had.


but today,when i squeezed through the crowd of tiny (and huge) younger people to wish her, she forgot my name. she forgot my batch. and i was at her house just this chinese new year.


she was busy. she had alot of students surrounding her (like always) and she was in a hurry to rush for a meeting. she mistook me for one of the students in the 2002 batch (i was the 2000 one btw). well, she did find 1 min to look up at me in an i-know-you-but-i-just-cant-remember-your-name expression before rushing off to her meeting. it's okay, i wished her anyway.


Mrs S. Someone who never gave up on her students. when i screwed up my prelims, she made me believe in myself. when my psle results was released, i wasnt happy. i was angry and upset. UPSET.


and then i got a phone call. it was Mrs S. she started talking to me and talked about how much i've improved from prelims and lots of encouraging words came out. it wasnt that bad after all. (of course, if i look back on it now, it's NOTHING. heh) there. she was such an encouraging person. one who really bothered to call her student up to encourage.


so you see, i'll never forget her, and i never fail to wish her every year. this year would not be an exception, even if she had forgotten who i was.


here's the thing. abt 2 hrs earlier, the phone rang and i saw a familiar number on the id. and then came a familiar voice. it was Mrs S. she apologised to me for being in such a hurry, and for having temporary memory loss.


wow. she bothered to call, AGAIN.


so we chatted for abit and she taught me lots of moral values again, only through the phone this time. Mrs S- amazing.


of course, not forgetting about my sec school teachers whom i appreciate alot as well. well...maybe some more than 'others' (heh) but i shant elaborate any further. like this isnt long enough.


oh btw, i've only just started watching Rock Star INXS and i love it. but it's a little late aint it? crap i should have been more enthusiastic about it earlier. which reminds me. i might wanna get their album.


oh well, guess i'm done for now (you can breathe again dearies). all i'm left to say to all teachers is, "HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY Y'ALL!"


right, like they read this. lol

in sheer randomness, i've decided to do a little post about... well, me.


do you really know the real me? or do you just think you do? so okay. some little things about me that i'd like to make known to everyone.


technically, i'm one who does not like being the center of attention. i'd much rather you see me as if i'm not there. i'd much rather be invisble from a huge crowd. that's right. so why was i ever in choir? *ponders* oh, right. i got dragged in. gee.


alright not to digress any further, i'm the kind of person who's easily embarrassed (anna can reassure that). yeah. the slightest thing gets me going, "dont want lah.. so paiseh.". now THAT, i should kick.


i go wild when i see my favourite stars on tv. i go wild when i see my favourite stars live at concerts. but i go quiet when i see the stars upfront. sometimes, i even lean on a pillar at the corner while everyone else rushes up to them. (lol ann baby.. YOU know what i'm talking abt) that's right. that's the kind of girl i am. now that has nothing to do with embarrassment. i just dont exactly, feel the "WOW-ness" when i see them in person. the closer we are the less amazed i feel. i think might need a psychiatrist.


i dont like being part of the crowd. no wait, strike that. i dont like crowds.


super low self esteem, that's what i have. it's hard to change that, cos it's pretty much something that i've built formed throughout years of failure. and i'm not even 17.


dont get me the wrong way. i do want to fit in. but i dont want to be one of the popular kids. i dont want to be cool. well, i'm not anyway and that's all right. i'm just someone who wants to survive .


now go, before i turn you off any further.

tagged.

i've been tagged by anna.well, i asked to be anyway. so here it goes.


Seven things you plan to do before you die!!
1. travel around the world.
2. bungee jump.
3. parasail.
4. gorge on chocolates.
5. fall in love
6. form a band
7. tell my family i love them.


Seven things you can do!!
1. be a biach.
2. joke.
3. fail my exams.
4. a cartwheel.
5. watch tv all day long.
6. pretend to be a superstar.
7. speak in different accents, my way.


Seven things you can't do!!!
1. be without my family.
2. be without a tv.
3. study.
4. a back flip.
5. act cute.
6. be a real superstar.
7. speak italian.


Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!
1. eyes.
2. smile.
3. character.
4. humour.
5. clean.( meaning he doesnt take drugs and stuffs)
6. dressing.
7. hair.(short!)


Seven things you say most!!!
1. uh-huh
2. dude
3. is it?
4. woah.
5. god!
6. gee
7. *beep*


Seven celebrity crushes!!!
1. Kevin Zegers (major.)
2. Rodrigo Santoro (hot.hot.hot.)
3. Josh Hartnett (awwww..)
4. Ashton Kutcher (who else is new?)
5. Bryan Greenberg (i'm such a school girl.)
6. Freddie Prinze Jr (what? stop laughing.)
7. Chris O'donnell (oh bachelor. )


there u have it. anyway, has anyone noticed that my entries always happen to be on mondays, wednesdays, fridays and sundays? i know i just did.


okay, that's just plain randomness.


and bless the broken road, i'm still sick. damn.

i've been looking forward to this day for a long time. Friday. Today. because this is when all the projects are done, and although the exams are coming, i can at least relax a little.


but what happens now?


i fall sick. at a time where i should be relaxing, i'm struggling to breathe in the slightest bit of air and trying to swallow without being annoyed. damn it.


someone up there JUST does not like me.

Down and up..and down again

ok, i'm failing all my quizzes and mini tests. that's wrong, plain wrong. it shouldn't be happening now. not when the sem exams are coming up. no!!!


people often say, "there's always an up side to everything". i never get to use that phrase.


not today though. because ladies and gentlemen, there IS an up side! not to this, but there is an UP SIDE! my projects are finally completing, and once friday is over, they'll all be gone. my shoulders will weigh like it was back then in secondary school again. that's right. it'll be project-FREE. oh i just love the sound of that.


wait. here's an UPPER side.


someone found my thumb drive. yes.. after a week. this is me, happy. :)


and now, i shall go off and fail my lab test tomorrow.

i dont believe it anymore.

i've been rained on my parade.


i'm fine. no, really, i am. i'm feeling good! in fact, i'm happy!!! :D


if you believed that, you don't know me one single bit. because i ain't happy. i hate being rained on my parade. don't you walk into my parade, and ruin it. don't.


god i can so feel the heat inside of me rising. but tonight, i shall refrain. yes, i shall not berate or rant any further because if i do, it'll only increase your sense of curiosity. yes. i shall struggle with the keeping of it inside of me and not rant.


*pulls hair*


Don't tell me not to fly
I've simply got to.
If someone takes a spill,
It's me and not you.
Who told you you're allowed
To rain on my parade!
-- Barbra Streisand


oh yeah. Happy super Sweet 16, anna!:)

Random-la la

i bought Kaiser Chiefs' album today. when i got home and opened the cd cover, the cd just rolled out. the inside of the casing broke. the tiny plastic bits in the middle that holds the cd together came out in pieces. now that DEFINITELY happened before i bought it cos i was really careful with it. oh well, as long as the cd can be kept inside when it's closed, it's ok. i guess. -raises eyebrow-


ok, onto the cd. it's pretty different from the cds that i usually buy. it's just...alright. different, and alright. meaning-not fantastic. heh


more randomness. watched Bring It On Again on HBO today. i had NO IDEA Bethany Joy Lenz acted in it. funny as it was, she was acting as a superficial bitchy cheerleader who's like the team leader's frontman front woman or something. u know, typical stuff.


but it was interesting watching her act that way, because thats sooo different from the Haley James of Tree Hill.


right. like you really needed to know that.


i did mention this was random. anyway, guess i'm just blogging because i just came back from coffee at the airport with my family, and i cant get to bed yet. and yup, tv's being used. forgive me.


btw, i saw chee soon juan at tamp mrt station area promoting his book. sigh. some people just dont know when to stop.

Pure Stupidity

i left my thumb drive in the school lab's cpu yesterday and when i went back for it, it was gone.


yes, i had predicted that. i mean, it's really just a perfect free gift to anyone who used that computer after me. all he/she had to do was to open the drive, delete all the files, and then reuse it as a new thumb drive.


f off you ass, whoever you are. how very honest.


and in case you havent guessed it, all my files were in there. my pictures and my projects. it initially didnt matter to me that my $49 bucks was gone and more towards the fact that my files and pictures were gone.


so i knew i had to redo my projects. i was so PISSED because i had ACTUALLY FINISHED my work initially. but then i realised that only one of the projects needed to be redone because there were little backups here and there for the others. luckily only 1.


and then it hit me. i just lost $49.


of course, the best person to blame is none other than myself. how could i have been so careless to leave the damned thing in the cpu?! it's all my fault. no one else should be blamed for this act of carelessness (hey thief, whoever you are, don't laugh. this excludes you. you're not getting away with this.). i.am.such.a.careless.freak.


thankfully i managed to finish my project within 4 hrs(thanks to anna and memory) and my java project is completed (thanks to my classmate), so it's kinda like a little load of my shoulders. just a little bit. but when monday passes, it'll be a huge one, i'm telling you. a huge one. i cant wait.


need to go get another thumb drive (ann honey, i'll return you yours asap) soon. dammit. so much for trying to save up to travel this coming holiday.


good karma? pah.

last night:

mom: when are your holidays gonna start?
me: 3rd week of september.
mom: until?
me: 1st week of november.
mom: WAH! then u can go on a holiday!


ahhh..music to my ears.


i have been dying to hear that phrase since a long long time ago. knowing that i "can go on a holiday" is the best thing ever. the problem is, my holidays are not exactly at the end of the year, thus it would be kinda hard for my parents to take leave, let alone my brother. that sucks.

mom: go lah.. u want u go lah!

me: really? u allow?

mom: go lah. try lah..dont have to go that far what. just places like, thailand, or australia..

me: *gets excited* but australia's not near what.

mom: perth is okay ... or melbourne.

me: but australia's ex right?

mom: aiya $1000 plus the most..u have the money right? money gone can put back later.

me: *glitters*

you see, i'm so desperate to take the plane again, i really dont mind using that $1000 over.


so we started discussing about who i could go with and where i could go. mom suggested that i travel with one of my aunts who's single, but it would honestly be boring or weird to travel together because i find it really hard to find something to talk to her about. i mean, we did go out together before and we do talk..but it's just weird because i doubt i can be the natural me around her. plus, i have a huge feeling that our sleeping and eating habits are definitely different. i want to travel with someone whom i can really be myself with.


i saw this ad on classified with some 4D tour at Perth for $499 (exclusive of taxes and stuffs so all in all- possibly $800-$1000). hence, i tried to convince the best person who could travel with me. -> My mom. i persuaded, i begged, i even volunteered to pay for her ticket. BUT all she could tell me was, " i have to wash your brother's uniform." or "i have no mood."


You get to travel! your mood will return!!! we all need a break dont we?


sigh. still a "no". so i asked her if i could go with my friends alone and she said if there were at least 4 of us she would allow. but of course, you guessed it. my friends would definitely not be allowed to go. and all these talks when my exams aren't even here yet. lol. and what if i do badly?


argh what the heck. shall try to persuade my mom every night from now on.

i failed my java test. again. it's not surprising. but i would really have loved to be pleasantly surprised with a 10/20. altogether, my teacher told me that i had failed my overall marks(inclusive of previous papers) by 0.9 marks, and that if i didnt do better than average for this java project, he cant help me( bring up the marks that is).


the best thing is, i'm having a real tough time with this project. the program menu alone is driving me crazy, so let's just leave out arrays. i cant fail, i cant. i dont wanna stay back another sem to relearn something that i hate so much. i dont want to, i cant, and i wont. i dont want to.


i DONT. i cant. i cant....?.....please? dammit.


school aside, i'm glad the elections for a new president is off. to be quite honest, Mr A.K. does not impress me at all. not for one bit. all that publicity, what for, might i ask? if you're not qualified, you're not. this is the job, of RUNNING a country mind you, you dont just go to the board to APPEAL because YOU think you're qualified.


if you ask me, i think he might have sounded a little too desperate to be the nation's head. seemed to me he's more interested in the pay and the title than, well, leading the country.


anyway, i'm glad S.R.Nathan's remaining as our president. really glad. sorry Mr A.K., maybe 6 years later eh?


ok, i better watch what i say on this blog in case i get sued to court.

but we all know i will be able to vote 6 years from now.

*walks away silently*

caffeinat-ion

i realised that the previous post was just filled with pure, plain angst and problems that i wont be able to explain exactly to anyone. so i shall spare u guys the anguish of of trying to find out what some of the problems might be by deleting that post. if u havent read it, good for you. if u have, dont worry kids, i'm fine. i guess i just got heated up as i typed.


anyway i felt way better after going for coffee at the airport last night. it's amazing what a cup of coffee can do.


i'm not addicted to coffee! I just happen to... love them.

some things i've discovered within the past few days:


1) women can't eat fast or chomp on their food even if they're hungry, because that would be wrong in the Female Etiquettes Book. well ok then, happy nibbling on your food while your body slowly disintegrates away due to hunger. but then again, chomping down on food might cause one to choke to death. so guys shouldnt do it too.


2) some guys just have no idea what being a gentleman is about. if you cant be a gentleman to other girls, how do you expect to please a girl you know?


3) i was on the upper deck of the bus home today and i thought i saw one of the most refreshing things that i've seen in the past couple days. when the bus stopped at one of the bus stops near home, i saw a really sweet scene. 1 indian primary school girl (prob p2 or p3) was trying to open this packet of thing but she couldnt tear it open, so her chinese friend from another primary school sticked out her hand, looked at the girl, and the girl passed it to her. the chinese girl took no longer than a second to tear it open, and returned it to the indian girl. (so ok... what's so sweet about that?)


then the indian girl happily took out this long cylinder shaped biscuit from the packet, and held it in front of the chinese girl. yes, she wanted to share the biscuit. so each one of them held it at one end, and they tried to break it into half... and then it was trees...buildings... trees... overhead bridge.. lol ok the bus moved lah.


anyway, a little indian girl and a chinese girl sharing a biscuit. now just how sweet is that?? that 2 min scene actually made me smile!


i guess what i'm trying to say here is that... if singaporean kids of different races can live in harmony, why cant the world? *sigh* sometimes the adults just think too much.


4) of course, the main issue here. i've got lots of things to do. i HAVE to complete them soon. HAVE TO.


5) my msn aint working. dammit.


*closes eyes and presses fingers to head* -"think happy scene seige, think happy scene"-

do you believe in karma?
that what goes around comes around?


i dont know if i do. i wish to sometimes- that if i do a good deed, something good will happen to me in return. let's just skip the part about being bad for now.


i would like to believe that i did 2 good deeds today. i shall not say what they are because i dont want it to seem like i'm trying to promote to the world that i'm a kindhearted person (although i'm sure that i'll pass that at least), and also, i dont want to jinx it. i know, "jinx what?!?" you might think. well, i don't know...just, it.


so ok. i really wish that there's such thing as good karma. then good things will happen to good people. i dont consider myself a good person, but i do good deeds when i can..sometimes. thing is, i dont seem to be very lucky, and nothing good has really happened to me yet.


so if there's such thing as karma, LET THE MAGIC BEGIN!

Eligible Voting in 4 Years.

had a 2hr long conversation with anna late last night. a 2hr long, intelligent conversation, i must say.


we talked about anything to everything we think the world is involved in these days. from religion to racism, G8 to terrorism, presidential elections to politics, why the US invaded Iraq to the story of the Tiny Red Dot, and abusive parents to teen suicide. of course, there was a little part about me being mad at the fact that polys dont have national day celebrations e day before(i still insist they should) and another part about us being high on christmas(heh) ..but they all really led us to interesting topics that i've never really discussed with anyone before.


it would be really tiring and long to type out everything we said so i'll leave it out. it's amazing, the feeling, of us being able to talk about issues like that now. i'm so proud of us, i take back what i've said ann. i HAVE grown. :)


i think it's just sad that my parents have no idea how into politics i am. i might just run for an election one day.


kidding.

i'm breaking everything in my house. stop it.


they keep cutting in with commercials after every 7-10 mins of Tree Hill. stop it.


workload's decreasing... and increasing again. stop it.


time's passing so quickly. stop it.

STOP IT.

complains, complains and MORE complains

the family living at the opposite block is annoying me..badly. they've been blasting their music without a care for the last... FOR-EVER. yes. the entire family. every single one of them. Inconsiderate? i think. the family plays music like the entire area belongs to them, as though everyone would like their music. Even so, there's still no need for that.


there's really no need to let us know what a FAB hi-fi set you've got, really. not in the morning, not in the afternoon, not at night, thankyouverymuch.


as the head of the household, their dad doesnt do anything to stop that. in fact, he blasts music like nobody's business himself. RIGHT, of course. it doesnt help that the youngest daughter shouts into the microphone at their karaoke sessions, especially when SOME OF US here are suffering from major HEADACHES( like today) and are trying to get some work done. and NO, HONEY, you do not take 2-3 puffs from a cigarette and throw it out of your window while it's still lighted and repeat the procedure for about 5 times . May i remind u that u're living on the 12th floor?


there are so many times that i wanted to blast my music back but then I would be adding to the noise pollution and be JUST ANOTHER inconsiderate neighbour. It's annoying, because one cant call the police as this is way too minor and yet there's nothing that one can do. this.really.sux.


schoolwise, i've got so much to do..so little time. SO much, SO LITTLE. it's only term2 of Sem1 of yr 1. i.am.going.insane.