f.r.e.e.

i found something to love about my office.

the air-conditioner.

the weather these few days has been ridiculously hot. so hot, so humid, and so stuffy, it's almost suffocating. the temperature outside seems to be a wee bit cooler than inside the house, which basically stinks for me, knowing how much i hate going out. okay, my own problem.

a nice cone of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough would've done the trick, but free-scoop-day just had to be on a tuesday afternoon.

this was taken on last year's free-scoop-day.


this year, all i could have was this.


the image of it.

speaking of free stuffs, Coldplay released their new single, Violet Hill, off their album Viva La Vida or Death and all His Friends for free downloading on their website. one week only!

a new album would mean a new(tiny little) chance of them coming back down to singapore for a third concert. in fact, bring Travis along. have a reunion concert here all over again. do it, blokes. i'm there.

short fingers crossed.

TGILD this thursday.

elementary, my dear watson.

everytime a plane flies over my workplace, i dont hear a thing but the ground beneath my feet vibrates. it's like a miniscule earthquake that happens every half an hour. ten points for guessing where my office is located near to. just act like you really needed that ten points.

here's a little view from the restroom area in the office.


well, it's secluded enough.



more clues?

also, over lunch, a lovely colleague of mine asked me if i was pure chinese. that makes her the 105th person to think that way. i'm really as chinese as it gets. three of my grandparents were from china. i'm as yellow-skinned as the simpsons(which is an honour). ...or maybe it's time to sit down with my parents to find out the cold, hard truth. was i or was i not, picked up from the thrashbin near our home?

in other news, my graduation gown arrived on thursday. honestly speaking, i wouldnt call me making it to graduation a miracle like some of my friends do. it's really more like a mystery. but as always, some mysteries are meant to be left unsolved.

case closed.

see you later, elevator.

i flipped through an old photoalbum today.

look, i know gwen stefani's really cool and all that...


but look who originated stripes, prints and a quirky pair of shades?
that's right, i aint no hollaback girl.

anyway.

after much anticipation, the lift by my house is done.

our lift is done. yes, our lift.

i know my excitement has been puzzling to a few people but they dont understand. having "our own lift" was something that anna and i had been wishing for since we were kids. sure, we had wanted an internal one then, but hey, a decade later, this really is good enough. and for it to be only 15 steps away from my doorstep is just a gift.

two nights ago, i passed anna a box of egg tarts through the lift. only, the box took a solo trip down, leaving anna to retrieve it out of the lift safely when the liftdoor opened on her level. wow, this is like a dream come true. screw a trip around the world. this is waaay better.

okay i kid.

me and my partner-in-crime...

...wishing for an internal elevator.

not a quitter.... well, not yet.

okay.

ouch, by the way.

this really should've been a two-parter.

the week's been unbelievably horrible. horrible.

it was monday morning and my room started to spin around me at a high speed. it felt as though i was sitting in one of those spinning tea-cups at carnivals. what made it worse was that the giddiness elevated everytime i tried to lie down. *beeeeeep* lying down actually made it worse. and then the pukes came. incessantly. bloody nuisance.

oddly enough, the family doctor whom i've been seeing for 18 years was on leave that day. it was the first time i've actually seen him on leave. 18 years of my life. yes, the odds. i stared at the needle the replacement doctor jabbed into my left deltoid. it felt good. a fetish for needles, maybe. i liked it.

now my deltoid however, is seemingly bruised. right now. i read somewhere that it's normal to get bruises after a jab because it probably went through a blood capillary or something. but it sure looks diseased.

look, even my BCG's turned yellow.

i apologise for the disgusting image. sorry.

i felt better on wednesday afternoon but the bloody nuisance came back to haunt me by nightfall. it's like it went on a lunch and dinner break. if it was a thing, i would've murdered it. in cold blood.

and then i was late for my first day of work on thursday because the transport that my recruitment agency told me to wait for didnt even show up. turns out, they actually made me wait for a bus that has stopped transporting workers for aeons. when i tried to call the bus driver whose number the agent gave to me, it wasnt even in use anymore. great stuff there. great impression.

work. to put it simply, i hate my temp job. dont get me wrong. my colleagues are pretty nice and friendly people. yes, that i dare say. but i think they all innocently thought that i was actually an accountancy diploma holder or something because i've been tossed real accountancy and more.

look, if there's one thing that they should know, POA was that one subject that i scored a D7 for during my 'O' levels. which was why i swore never to do accounting ever again.

i really should've been interviewed.

2.5 months more to go. i'm really, honestly, truthfully, un-exaggeratingly dreading monday. this is SIP all over again. damn it. what i'm really looking forward to is JULY. but what's really getting on my nerves is this fever that i'm dealing with right now. my voice is gone and my nose is wearing Adidas. impossible is nothing, huh? bloody nuisance.

ok tonight, i tried to play scrabble.

great letters.


i got rid of the "R" and the "O" and this is what i got in return.


i really must've offended someone who probably knows voodoo. look, i'm really sorry okay? whoever you are. really. please just stop. okay, how much do you want? a dollar? a googillion bucks?

oh look, it's sunday already.

SOMEBODY WHACK ME, PLEASE! KNOCK ME OUT!

The Breakfast Club

"They only met once, but it changed their lives forever."


i managed to catch this today, 23 years after it's release.

now this is old school. for real.
who the hell goes to detention for 8 hours and 54 minutes?


Don't You Forget About Me- Simple Minds

but i loved it. :)

The Bucket List

before i caught this movie, i had absolutely no idea what the story was about, and normally, i wouldnt watch a movie that i didnt have a clue about. much to my joy, the movie was simply enjoyable. a simple idea carrying a message so simple: live your life to the fullest. literally.

as i sat there in that cinema watching those two dying old men complete their different tasks(big and small) on that list, i felt a tad bit of shame and envy altogether. sure, it's only a movie. and i dont speak for everyone, but i think somehow, one way or another, most of us are guilty of not having lived our lives to the fullest. at least up til now, we havent.

it's a bit of a shame, isnt it? here we stand, healthy and strong, with decades left to live, but we're not ready. so the question is, do we really have to wait til we're dying to actually live the remainder of our lives to the fullest?

and then comes the envy. with everything, comes money. and with money, comes restrictions. truth is, the reason many of us havent had the chance to "live our lives" is because we simply dont have the privilege to.

but i remembered something the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, had said on Oprah today. "You are the hero to your own life's journey." how very true. if that works, maybe the simplest things in life fulfills us. maybe.

maybe everyone should own a bucket list. i have one. to many of us, it's probably a list of things that we know we would never be able to do, but at least it's a list of things that we dare to dream of doing in this lifetime.

who knows? maybe one day we'd actually be able to do those things.


Say- John Mayer (The Bucket List)

way before we kick the bucket, hopefully.

tagged by annaballerina.

so here goes...

Part 1: On The Outside
Name: Swee Hoon
D.O.B: 27 Dec 1988
Current Status: single
Eye Colour: black
Hair Colour: black. brown under the sunlight.
Righty Or Lefty: righty.

Part 2 : On The Inside
Your heritage: very chinese(with Suatao and Hainan Island). and a little bit of a peranakan. but mostly, i like to think that i'm filipino.
Your fears: dolls. wax figurines. hearing teenagers use the word, "emo". crowds. losing the people i love. my future.
Your weakness: chocolates. subway. youtube.

Part 3: Yesterday, Today & Tomorrow
Your thoughts 1st waking up: 5 minutes more.
Your Bedtime: 3 to 4am.
Your most missed memory: when life couldnt get any simpler.

Part 4: Your Pick
Pepsi Or Coke: hm. coke...light.
MacDonald's Or Burger King: macdonald's i guess.
Single Or Group Dates: single for sure.
Adidas Or Nike: adidas.
Lipton Tea Or Nestea: lipton.
Chocolate Or Vanilla: chocolate by a mile.
Cappuccino Or Coffee: mocha?

Part 5: Do You?
Smoke: never.
Curse: *beep* this.
Drink: nope.

Part 6: In the past month
Drank Alcohol: nope. iced-milo, i had aplenty.
Gone to the mall: yes. with an empty wallet.
Been on stage: nope.
Eaten Sushi: never had one. heh.
Dyed hair: nope.

Part 7: Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: nope.
Changed who you were to fit in: fortunately for me, i think my friends accept me for who i am. ...or maybe that's only what i think. never mind. ignorance is bliss.

Part 8: Age
You are hoping to be married: 20. wait, that's this december? ok, 26.

Part 9: In a Guy Or Girl
Best Guy Eye Colour: as long as i can see his soul through those windows. okay, too much.
Hair colour: decent enough is fine.
Short Or Long Hair: short. for sure.

Part 10: What were you doing?
1 min ago: this.
1 hour ago: freaking out because i thought my mp3 had been corrupted.
1 mth ago: trying to accept the fact that i was really done with school.
1 yr ago: embarking on a journey that ended up haunting me for the next 8-months.

Part 11: Finish the sentence.
Love: is a battlefield.
Feel: like pooping.
Miss: the times when "emo" wasnt actually a word.
Hate: thinking about my future.
Need: to accept.

Part 12: Tag 5 people!
anyone who's reading this can do it. :)

the sms.

about 20 minutes ago, i received a text message from one of my girl-friends whom i had met earlier tonight.

her: hellos. jus askin...wht do you actually think abt me? do u think we wld be happy tgt?
me: um, no? wth is that? haha
her: huh actually.. i think i kinda like you. dun tell XXX(another one of our girl-friends).

hmm.

me: haha eh you drunk ah
her: no la...really. i think i'm falling for you. wanted to say this just now but didnt have the guts to.

uh-huh.

me: oh okay. i think i'm falling for you too. falling down. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS BITCH. whee.
her: HAHA idiot. bt i think quite fun lol. you fell for it right! HAPPY APRIL FOOLS lol!

first "straight" prank of the day.
haha.

stupid april fools.

The Ring.

i received an interesting call yesterday.

(phone rings.)

me: hello?
woman: where are you now?
me: in the car?
woman: what time are you coming back?

wait, last i checked, all my family members were in the car with me.

me: um, who is this?
woman: what time are you coming back?
me: i think you got the wrong number.
woman: Carmen, is it?
me: nope, you got the wrong number.
woman: oh. *hangs up*

5 seconds later, my phone rang again. yes, it's that same unknown number.

me: *amused* hello?
woman: Carmen?
me: *laughs* you got the wrong number.
woman: *serious tone* dont bluff me, you're carmen. where are you now?
me: um, you really got the wrong number.
woman: *agitated* STOP LYING. you're carmen's friend. WHERE IS CARMEN?
me: WHO'S CARMEN?
woman: CARMEN. LEE CARMEN. CARMEN LEE.
me: I DONT KNOW ANY CARMEN. YOU'VE REALLY GOTTEN THE WRONG NUMBER, miss.
woman: *hangs up*

and with that, my dad's australian friend sitting at the front of the car offered to be "Carmen" the next time the lady called. which she didnt.

i think she probably finally managed to get through to her Carmen and realised that she'd really gotten the wrong number twice and had accused a stranger of lying.

look, it's okay if you get the wrong number a few times. but really, not even a word of apology? not even a "sorry"? gee, Carmen's mom. oh well, her number is still on my call log so i can actually prank call her anytime i want. awesome. victory is in my hands. woohoo.

a likely scenario...

woman: hello?
me: *muffled* hello. is this carmen's mother?
woman: yes?
me: *breathes heavily* what's your favourite scary movie?

okay, so maybe i wont really do that. i mean, i'm not that childish(i lied) and it really would be a waste of time(as tempting as it sounds). but really, some singaporeans really need to learn some real manners for their own benefits. like Carmen's mom. and everyone else who stood in front of the library door before it opened. it's getting retarded.

bring Singa the lion back!

KT Tunstall: Drastic Fantastic Tour 27 March '08

i'm trying to think of a way to describe the concert that i had just attended some hours ago.



okay, i got it. it was drastically fantastic.

okay so that was lame, but i really thought that it was FANTASTIC. undoubtedly the best gig that i've ever been to. alright so maybe i'm a little biased here, seeing how much i love KT Tunstall's stuff, but no one cares.

holy macaroni. it truly was awesome. i mean, she switched around four different guitars throughout the entire set which lasted for about 90 minutes. four! one of which included her oh-so-fabulously-beautified silver electric. she sounded completely pitch-perfect live, which was something that i knew to expect because i've watched plenty of her live performances on youtube before. but really, nothing beats watching her sing live.

come on, the lady did FOUR songs for the encore. who on earth does four songs for encores? tell me, how can anyone not love her?

bad-quality photos and videos from my mobile phone ahead. you should wash your contacts or something before viewing. i do apologise for the insane jerkiness. i was, um, pretty high.

view of the stage from where i was sitting.


closest pic i could get of her. unfortunately.


Hopeless(my favourite track off Drastic Fantastic)


Other Side of The World


Black Horse and The Cherry Tree(the legendary metaphor)


Suddenly I See

One of the encore performances.

Universe & U (one of my favourites off Eye to the Telescope)

i had a helluva good time. yes i did.

goodbye yesterday.

i dont know where i've heard this song before but since i naturally hummed along with it when the chorus came on, tune for tune, i thought i'd put the video up to share with everyone.


The Charlatans - Try Again Today

who knows? maybe you're humming along too. you just dont know it.

suddenly i see.

live in singapore.

only one more day. :)

the thrills.

i learnt something today.

that singaporeans love thrills. the thrill of crowding right in front of doors is almost unexplainable. counting down to the moment the doors open. it's so exciting!

the mrt doors. the sales store door. the library door.

yes, the library. maybe it's the thrill of being the first person to step into the library. being the first person to reach the second level. the first person to grab a seat by the window. the first person to touch a book. the first person to talk to a librarian. the first person to borrow a book. i dont know. what is it? there must be something i'm not seeing. maybe there's a pot of gold somewhere.

or maybe they all really needed to poop.

nah. must be that pot of gold.

i feel like shit.

i hate it when she does that. my mother. blaming herself and my father for not being able to provide enough money for me to further my studies in australia. i hate it.

i know we have financial difficulties. i understand that. i understand that perfectly. i'm not asking for anything. yes, it would be a dream to be able to further my education overseas, especially since this idea has been in my head since i was in my secondary school years. but all these while, i darent yearn for much, because i knew of the problems we were facing. i never asked for much.

i dont blame them a single bit. my parents. they've have been slogging their whole lives to try to provide what's best for my brother and i. i really appreciate them for that. if anything, i'll work my way to australia. maybe it'll take me a few years. so let it take me a few years.

who am i to deserve all their frustrations and worries? it wasnt necessary at all.

if anyone's to be blamed, it should be me. i should be blamed for not being able to score well enough to enter a local university. i should be blamed for not being able to please them with good grades for years. not them. me. i blame myself.

so i hate that my mom has to feel this way. many times, i've tried to explain to her that it's no one's fault that we cant afford certain things in life. some people live in luxury, some dont. that's just the way of life.

she's mad at herself, and i'm mad at myself.

it's simply my fault.
end of story.

dance, dance.

after watching Jamie Bell on Jumper, i had the urge to watch Billy Elliot again.



now i remember why i used to like it.
against all odds.

i had no idea little Jamie Bell was the same guy in Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends video. mmhmm.

speaking of dancing, i've had my brief experience with dance before. yes, me. in chinese dance. surprise, surprise. i was 7. but one fine day, a year later, i decided to stop showing up for practice. okay i was a quitter but i was 8.

but hey, i did keep the shoes. :)

i'm never throwing them away.

can RSH just bloody call me already?

conflicted.

where is the love? is it there? really?

which love is it? what kind?

i wish i knew the answers to these questions. i'll be honest. i feel guilty. really. i dont know if it's my fault. truth is, i dont even know if there is a problem. so why do i feel like there is? i can sense it. i was born with senses. i feel it. there's nothing wrong but it doesnt feel right either. it isnt there anymore?

maybe it really is my fault. maybe i'm the wrong reason. or maybe i'm just being paranoid. look, i've seen things. i've read things. i've never been through it, but i know what it's supposed to be like, and this sure doesnt feel like it.

i wish that i'm wrong. i hope that i'm wrong. i pray that i'm wrong.
i dont care if i'm 19. i need to be selfish.

dont guess what this is about, i'm pretty sure you're wrong. :)

meanwhile, i havent done great in my exams or anything but i guess i should be pretty satisfied with the results. oh well. i was more excited this afternoon.

i need a good song.


i feel better already.
sunshine. :)

my confession.

i have a confession to make.

occasionally, i have the urge to chokeslam a few people, and little hooligan boys whose voices have yet to break, dressed in red skinny jeans(or any colour of the rainbow), become my ideal targets.

i dont really chokeslam them though. i just try to visualise myself doing so.

when you're 4-ft tall and have yet to grow an adam's apple or understand the laws of physics, yelling profanities in public just makes you look like a lost, little colour pencil. it's like watching humpty dumpty climb back up the wall again. it's a comedy.

you guys are a joke. i will laugh at you and visualise myself chokeslamming you.

moving on. i'll appear to be more humane this time, i promise.

the idea of talking behind closed doors and being on the other end. often, people talk behind closed doors to prevent other parties from hearing what they want to say. then it gets too loud. the voices.

walls are paper thin.


damn.

losers united.

Manchester United and i have something in common.

we both sucked at our games tonight.
them, soccer. me, scrabble.

having lost 1-0 to Portsmouth in a match just now, my dad, brother and i had to put up with my mom's sulking until she went to bed. yes, my mother watches soccer. no, she's not one of those women who watches or pretends to watch soccer to impress the guys(i mean really, who does she need to impress right?). she truly loves soccer as much as korean dramas. i'm talking forgoing activities that come her way on saturday and sunday nights to stay-in for a match on tv. mrs kim is an avid ManU fan. avid. so whenever ManU loses a match, she sulks. literally. for at least an hour. i'm not even kidding.

thanks alot for tonight, ManU.

now say hello to me. i lost tonight's scrabble game. wait, i always do. okay i suck at scrabble. period.

so i caught Avril Lavigne's gig on MTV Live just now, and i headed into my room and dug out a few items.


ah, the good ol' items from my AvrilPhase.

oh yes, i had an AvrilPhase. i was 14 and a huge fan. really. not just of Avril, but also of her then bassist, Mark Spicoluk. for other reasons. cough. but of course, like most artists, here is another one that conformed and sold out. way to go, "skater-chick". nuff' said.

alas, my air-tickets are finally booked for $1255. yes that is a crapload of money. my money. but it's finally booked. oh boy.

i'm going to australia. ohboy.

BS and what you make of it.

a friend said something on the phone that cracked me up after my huge disappointment.

the disappointment over the unavailabilities of Qantas flights to australia in july. yes, july. and we thought june was the peak period.

i've made so many plans, and now there seems to be a possibility that they'll end up being pointless. just how awesome does this sound?

alternatively, i could just choose to fly SQ instead. after all, it's a great way to fly. well i'll be damned. it's $300 more, damn it. it'd better be a great way to fly.

$300. whee. *reaches into my imaginary bank and takes out my imaginary money*. woah, turns out i've got way more money in there than i thought i did. wait, my imaginary bank teller tells me i'm a millionaire. oh look, queen elizabeth just walked by.

yes, i'm being unfortunately and pathetically sarcastic(delusional). sorry, but this dream of mine came so close to reality, and now it's turning into dust. it's probably just waiting for the signal before it bursts into flames and cremates into ashes. just like that.

i am not kidding. i am disappointed.

but my friend cracked me up so bad, i needed to pee.