Directions please?

i have to stay back everyday to work on my java project. and at the end of the day, it always seems like nothing much was achieved. i dont think i'm entirely clueless of what to do next, but i think i just dont know how to continue writing them out. i mean...cant we just play the real "mastermind" game, dammit?

honestly, it sounds kinda ridiculous and wrong to still be questioning if what i'm taking now is the right one for me. and no, it doesnt seem right. it wasnt, and it's supposed to be now, but it's still not. i know i have to be sure, at the very least. i mean, i'm already in my 2nd year. i'm turning 18.

the thing is, right up to this very moment as i'm typing, i'm still questioning myself. would things be less easy if i had actually gone into something that i had real passion for? not neccessarily. but would it feel this miserable? to have to question myself everyday on this path that i've taken? definitely not. it wasnt a path that i've chosen. not technically. but i've taken it. i took it. have i, perhaps, set foot on the wrong route? yes, perhaps.

but i want to make this route right. i seriously do. guidance. that's what i want. someone who seriously knows this thing. someone who seriously knows, understands and appreciates what infocomms is all about. just that someone. this uneccessary stress would've been avoidable if i had just been a little smarter.i shouldnt have allowed myself to take up something i had little interest in(though i had little choice), but now that i've taken it, i dont want to regret it. i hate regretting. i hate regretting.
clueless? maybe. a lost sheep? perhaps.

this is wasting my brain cells.

...i just want to draw.

Life As I Know It part 2

i've been explained to about why certain things happened and now i understand. it doesn't make me guilty about the way i reacted, but it makes me sorry that you felt that way for that to happen. i guess i knew it somewhere inside of me, but to have you try to explain it to me, i knew it was tough. i do know. deep inside, i do.

all's good now.

i've been having weird and extreme dreams(or nightmares) for the past few weeks and there's no real explanation for them, but they're pretty disturbing ones. let's just say they involved murder, and suicides, right before my eyes. and they were all dreams of separate nights. i've told anna about them and she thinks i need more chocolates. haha. maybe?

but that dream interpreter thing. i think it got me into digging further down inside my feelings, to parts that i've never thought about before, and parts that i have, and it is, well, i'm not sure..might...somehow, perhaps...be true? freaky.

Life As I Know It

i think you have no idea how unsupportive you get sometimes, and you have no idea how to show your love to someone the way it's supposed to be.

just when i wanted to blog about something funny that happened yesterday. thanks alot.

just in case you were wondering, yes, i slammed the door behind me. i did kick the table, i did slam my stool on my bed, and i did punch my hand on the cupboard.

"violent frustration
he cries out to God or just no one
is there a point to this madness
and all that he was is just a tragedy

He feels alone
His heart in his hand
He's alone
He feels like
I feel

Then on that last day he breaks
and he stood tall
then he yelled, then he yelled
and he takes his life"

-Poetic Tragedy by The Used


i'm not suicidal. but i played this song over and over.

An Earful

i dont know what it is, but this year seems to be a really unlucky one for me. especially recently. bad things just seems to happen to me, one after another.

take the past 3 months. i had fallen real ill twice within 2 months(which didnt use to happen), my previous thumbdrive was suddenly unrecognized by the computer(which meant that everything i had inside was gone), the other thumbdrive i used suddenly became corrupted and stuffs became so jumbled up. i had to redo my java twice. and we know how much i hate just even doing it once. plus there're other issues going on(issues). and to add to my series of unfortunate events,my right ear is still blocked. still! i cant believe it. it's been 5 bloody days already. 5 whole bloody days. the medicine's not taking any effect yet. give me a break. unblock yourself, dammit! UNBLOCK NOW!

i said, UNBLOCK NOW! u bloody thing.


peeling the skin off 100 potatoes? i think i've got another 200 onions to chop as well. TSK. TSK.

of course, the recent tsunami victims have it much worse and i sympathize with them. i know that i should feel lucky that i have a home and a life already. but living my life as it is now, i just have to rant. i'm sorry.

What A Bomb

i know it's a little late and all but...
...i cant believe we actually discovered a bomb at the construction site in toa payoh! when my mother first told me what she heard, i didnt believe her because it wasnt the first few headlines of the news that night. and then i saw the news. there was a bomb.

funny enough, the first thought that came to my mind was "it's probably from World War 2," since toa payoh's one of the older areas in singapore but my mom was all worried that it might be another terrorist attempt. i dont know why i never thought of that at first, but it turned out that i was right. and from that, let me just say this:

wooooaaaaaaah. a bloody bomb! an actual bomb from world war 2 that could've gone off anytime! WOAH! maybe we could've done something else instead of setting it off at the open area. we've could've like...mailed it back to japan or something, for memorance. and on the box it'll say, "Hey guys! remember this?" now that would've been pretty cool.

...okay letting it explode was definitely the best way.

i love japan. i do. really. really. world peace y'all.

nothing about me that i can talk about because my life has basically become as boring as sitting on a stool peeling the skin off 100 potatoes. yes. when it's project period, that's how it goes. *yawn* except though, my right ear has been blocked for 2 days. the kind where sometimes you blow your nose too hard and the inside of your ear gets blocked. only i havent had flu. it just suddenly became blocked. so i'm looking for remedies. anybody knows a way to unblock it?

boy, my life's such a bomb. pun intended.

Pinball Wizard

Pinball Wizard

Ever since I was a young boy,
I've played the silver ball.
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played them all.
but I ain't seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He stands like a statue,
Becomes part of the machine.
Feeling all the bumpers
Always playing clean.
plays by intuition,
The digit counters fowl.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He's a pinball wizard
There has to be a twist.
A pin ball wizard,
S'got such a supple wrist.

How do you think he does it?
I don't know!
What makes him so good?

ain't got no distractions
Can't hear no buzzers and bells,
Don't see no lights a flashin'
Plays by sense of smell.
Always gets a replay,
Never seen him fowl,
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball.

I thought I was
The Bally table king.
But I just handed
My pinball crown to him.

Even on my favorite table
He can beat my best.
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest.
He's got crazy flipper fingers
Never seen him fowl.
That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

-The Who

why is it that as we grow closer, they fall apart?

stupid.

stupid, stupid, stupid.

dinner.

i just had a fabulous dinner. steamed chicken breast meat with self-blended strawberry milkshake, and mango pudding and grapes for dessert. i feel so healthy. and happy. (yes, good food makes me happy.)

but i cant believe i'm missing Coldplay on monday.

Flippin' weirdo.

happy 4th July.

projects.

Projects.

PROJECTS.

i need more hours on my hands.
i need more brain cells to work with.
perhaps i can play with the clock.
or the brain surgeon.
i could swim in the ocean.
and maybe drown myself.
or i could morph into the Hulk.
yea, i could morph.

happy independence day, america.

Bewitched, Bothered, and Boston

i mentioned that i was bothered in the previous entry. there is a problem, and i dont think it's going away anytime soon. but i'm not going to think about it for now. i'm not going to let it affect me.

i appreciate the concern of some of my pals but...i just cant really talk about it. i'm sorry but i've always been a pretty private person when it comes to my problems. and i dont mean problems like failing a test or something but problems. big, tough, real ones.

it's uncomfortable for me to talk to someone even if it's someone real close. i just really keep lots of things to myself. things that i find hard to share. so forgive me if i'm not talking.

here's the irony though. i really want to talk about it, but because i dont feel right doing so, it works for me by writing it out. i express better this way. but this issue's too personal. and i'm a private bitch. so i'm just going to feel tortured inside for this whole period. oh wait. i said i wasnt going to think about it so that i wont feel affected. that's right. i'm not going to freaking think about this unfair piece of crap.

not to worry, because when i really, really do need to talk, i talk to my bolster. it's true. my best mate at night. i mean, it cant talk back, and that makes it a really good listener. besides, i'm a psychotic private bitch so this makes perfect sense doesnt it? (talked to my slippers, wrote a letter to my tv..)

oh yes, i finally own Augustana's album. turns out it was sold $10 cheaper at Gramophone! 10 dollars! i'm so glad anna spotted it. now that, makes me happy.

yes. i think i'll go to Boston.

In The Deep

Thought you had
all the answers
to rest your heart upon.
But something happens,
don't see it coming, now
you can't stop yourself.
Now you're out there swimming...
In the deep.
In the deep.

Life keeps tumbling your heart in circles
till you... Let go.
Till you shed your pride, and you climb to heaven,
and you throw yourself off.
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

And now you're out there spinning...
And now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

And the silence,
or your secrets, well
raise a worry hand.
Well, you can pin yourself back together,
to who you thought you were.
Now you're out there livin'...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.

In the deep...

Now you're out there spinning...
Now you're out there swimming...
Now you're out there spinning...
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep.
In the deep...

- In The Deep, Bird York

Bothered.

*coughs*

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."

as if.

i eat at least 2 apples a day and yet i've fallen sick twice within these 2 months. it's ridiculous. i'll probably die before i turn 40 if i carry on at this rate.

i came down with a slight fever on wednesday night, and on thursday, my temperature rose to about 38.4 degrees celsius. i had to go out on thursday afternoon (where i met a really interesting old lady on the bus on my way back. but i'll tell that story another time.) to post some stuffs and i decided to get myself a strawberry fair fresco drink. dang, my throat never felt so good. that is one mighty fine drink! but when i got home, my temperature rose to a 38.6. i thought it was supposed to cool me down. yeah whatever.

going to school on friday with a high fever wasnt exactly a good idea but i didnt feel right not going because i didnt want to miss out on what's going on. we didnt really do alot then but i'm glad we didnt because i think my brain cells stopped functioning for a bit. the aircon in the lab didnt do me any favours. i was shivering under my hooded sweater so much, my friend thought i looked a lot like Charlie of the show, LOST. like a drug addict. i could imagine.

then they told me there were red spots around my eyes that looked like mosquito bites but i figured it was just the flu anyway so i brushed that concern off. i mean, you would probably think so too, right? but damn, the fever was getting to me by then. it seemed as though i was a little delusional. cuckoo. cuckoo.

when i got home, i immediately sponged my head with a cold cloth and covered my eyes with it til i fell asleep. but that wasnt going to do any trick. when i woke up upon the return of my mom, my eyes could barely open. i could feel a thick, heavy layer of skin almost laying on top, disallowing me to open my eyes any further. the entire area around my eyes had actually swelled up so bad that my double eyelids became single. i looked like crap.

on our way to the doctors, people we walked past kinda stared at my eyes for a bit before quickly looking away. now i know how it feels like to have people staring at you because you look different. yea my eyes swelled up because i've too much fire inside them and i'm trying to control it before they shoot out like superman's, ok? freaks.

turns out i'm allergic to panadol. it seems i cant take 2 at a time. i think i was actually amazed when i heard that. i mean come on! i've never heard of anyone who's allergic to panadols! they're panadols! i've taken them so many times before. OH..okay. two panadols. sheesh. but Doc did mention that swelling eyes might cause breathlessness which kinda freaked me out a little. and my temperature rose to 39.1 degrees, i started reminding myself what my name is in case i burnt my brain. that's one crazy ride.

but i felt much better yesterday, and fever actually went down last night when my friends came over for some reason. they ended up watching the world cup according to previous plans(which was later cancelled due to me falling ill, and then somehow went accordingly again) and eventually, stayed over. that's like, 5 people, who i presume, have "strong body immunity"(so they say), over. my house became a hotelhostel overnight. good times.

my temperature seems to be rising again. the damn heat.

"An apple a day keeps the doctor away."


...."psyched."

It's a Feet thing

had a barbeque at east coast park with some old friends yesterday. i wouldnt say we did alot of activities but i thought it was nice just gathering with old friends, especially some i haven't seen in a while. alas, i finally got to play a little bit of soccer. sure, it was a volleyball. too bad the 2 coconut trees were growing in such perfect distance to make a goal post.

anyway, my dear old green "Tsunami" flip flops have finally decided to give way(yeah it has "tsunami" written on it). after 6 long months of torturing heat and slippery grounds, it has finally retired. i remember how i got it. it saved me when my sandals spoilt as i was on my way to chinatown with mom. those lovely green things. it braved the rain with me, suffered under the brutal sun with me, fought to keep me balanced on wet grounds. that's until...the entire sole wore out completely a few weeks back. but no, i wasnt about to give it up. mom cut some holes in it to create friction. and yea, it totally worked.

but i guess, wearing a slipper that's already falling apart to play soccer's not exactly a good idea. heh.

oh well Greenies, you guys have been totally comfortable and great buddies, and now it's finally time you guys take a break. thanks for being my pals for so long...

...i'm gonna toss them out first thing tomorrow morning.


so uh, i guess you guys wanna give me the number to the psychiatrist now?

Teddy Geiger, An Intimate Session

thursday night was, how should i say it...oh yeah, awesome.

i'm talking about Teddy Geiger's mini showcase at Balaclava.

we reached pretty early, and by pretty early, i mean 3 hours earlier. dont scream at me for being freakishly early, because when we got there, a queue had already formed. i really wonder what time the first person got there. so yes, it was embarrassing at first, sitting outside a bar filled with working men and women, drinking and smoking, probably wondering what the whole fuss is all about. i think they were probably going, "Teddy who?" Teddy Geiger, my friends.

the door opened 15 minutes later than it said it would, and of course, we managed to enter. the place was a lot smaller than i had imagined it to be. i imagined inside to have chairs, you know, like high stools or something, and people would be sitting around tables as they watch the performance. turns out that was only for the outside. or well, they probably took away those stuffs just for that night. but it didnt matter. because i was inside anyway.

i got a pretty good view from my little corner. and it worked well because we were soooo close to the stage. an intimate session alright. but then again, the distance from the stage to the door wasnt that far.

waiting sucked. because there was no room for movement, and honestly, there wasnt much we could do. ...WELL, much. some pretty weird conversations were going on behind us and hey, when you're squeezed together like that, you cant help but overhear stuffs. it didnt help that the girl behind me kept nudging me with her bag. but all the sacrifices were worth it.

Carrie Chong looked really pretty and sweet in person. she hosted, by the way. and then, what i've waited for. Teddy Geiger. Flippingly talented, he sang and played the keyboard and the guitar, performing 6 tracks off his album. alone on stage, it was totally accoustic. what made the performance even better was that he actually sounded good live. it was totally worth it.

the audience chanted for an encore after he disappeared off stage, and he reappeared, ever so shyly. i'm glad he did, because he performed my favourite song off the album, *ahem* "Look Where We Are Now". that was the git baby! can you imagine how happy i was after that performance? just imagine. i'm not kidding! seriously, imagine.

so we saw singapore's dear old irish man, Shan Wee, and MTV vjs May and Choy were there too. um, and i uh..spotted Rina from 8tv(m'sian channel). no one around me knew who she was but hey, i watched her on my 8tv for a couple of months! i thought she was a pretty whacky host. a pity that she was smoking though. tsk, tsk.

right. back to our singer. so Teddy Geiger was given a zhongruan in between the show and i thought that was a really cool gift. so here're the pictures, courtesy of anna's camera. :)


one cool chinese guitar.


okay, how on earth do you play this thing...?


i wont be sleeping till i figure this thing out, for sure!

yes, i had a great time.

Music Therapy

i used to say "Music is my salvation". that's because i loved music.

today, i realised, that music IS my salvation. because one simple song with great lyrics can make me feel 10 times better, like almost immediately. immediate effect, i say. Music therapy really works for me.

so i just discovered this band. well.. okay, i didnt discover them, and they're probably not that new or anything, but they're new to me, so yeah. anyway, they're called Augustana, and i find their stuff pretty appealing. to me, that is. it's my kind of music.

check them out:
Augustana

think i might get their album soon.
(i'm spending too much on cds!)

just randomly, i think a conversation with a friend earlier on reminded me that "we should never change ourselves to be someone else so other people will like us. why waste our lives being someone else we're not?" oh, and i think that smart women should never act dumb just because they think men would prefer a ditzy blonde to an intelligent brunette.

of course, i'm not smart. but i dont act, so that's a totally different story. it just means i'm stupid. dont read too much into it. haha.

i'll leave some lyrics of my newly fascinated song.
"You don't know me,
And you don't even care, oh yeah,
Well you said,
You don't know me,
And you don't wear my chains, oh yeah.

She said I think I'll go to Boston.
I think I'll start a new life.
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain. Oh yeah well
I think I'll go to Boston.
I think that I'm just tired.
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of Sunset,
I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah."
-Boston, by Augustana

Enough

i think, perhaps, it's time for me to say this.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? come, tell me the fuckin' problem. please, just tell me so i can seriously understand you guys better. yay. please. ...oh, i'm sorry what? oh it's cool.. after all, it only affects me in every way. oh sure, i'm happy, carry on. it doesnt bother the shit out of me one bit. mmhmm. i love it when you guys do that. it's great. it's like music to my ears. beautiful music. great sound. here's an idea. how about cutting an album? oh my that's gonna be sooo cool. i'm 77% sure your album sales will SUCK. hoorah.

so okay. i see how come he always has to step up to try to mediate things. because i dont have the dumbass guts to do it. i dont even know what i'm afraid of. i dont know why i dont have the guts. i've actually been given so many rights in my position, but where has my gut run off to? i'm starting to think i was born without guts used for this area. i just take cover in patheticness, cursing and swearing to myself, slamming pillows and kicking my bed everytime this happens. i swear i get tired of it. i really do. i wish my inner Pink would come out.

and somehow, this happens even more now than it used to.

why?

why?

why.

OH MY GOD. stop rubbing it in already. why is it still going on? WHAT IS THIS? why on earth are you so sensitive? a 3yr old child will get over it in 5 minutes. should i perhaps, buy you candy so you would stop? let's all exchange roles now.

i am really tired of putting my ears to the door at night. i really am. i'm tired of being subtle. I DONT WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. but because i'm gutless, can you just stop this on your own? please. i am begging you. please. i'll give up anything. just please stop this. on second thought, i'm not giving up my guitar. it's too foolish.

i am only looking forward to Teddy Geiger's performance tomorrow night even more.

just stop it.

i wish for Pink.

The good ol' days

it's the World Cup and baby, the fever is on.

now dont get me wrong. i'm not one who would usually sit down to watch a soccer match on cable unless i have nothing to do. the World Cup is an exception partly because it happens only once every 4 years, and partly because it always happens during the june holidays.

onto normal occasions. now i dont hate the sport. i just dont like sitting around watching a game if it's going nowhere. and by that, i mean no one's attacking or scoring. in fact, i prefer playing the sport more than watching it. i miss the good ol' sec school days where my pals and i would run around the field during p.e. with the soccer ball. i miss that. i want to play. but no one seems to be free for that. i mean, well DUH, i'm not great or anything, but i like playing it. i dont mind getting dirty and being tackled if i have fun. i miss soccer. i miss kicking. i miss my soccer mate(jean ;p). i miss... oh wait, i think my bro just bought... a new soccer ball. hmm. *harbours designs on it*

i remember the England vs Brazil match in 2002. i actually skipped *coughs* ahem, something*coughs* (Anna, shhh) just to watch that match. it was cool though, because my cousins came over, we had pizza, and hey, Brazil won. :)

Germany '06!

Look who returned

how long has it been? like 3 weeks? yes, i think that's how long my computer at home has been down.

wow it feels like ages. i dont even know what to write. there were plenty of things i wanted to blog about in the past 2 weeks, but i couldnt, and now i just cant be bothered to.

i know that some serious things are happening to some of my closest friends(you guys know who you are) and i hope they can really hang on. just let me complete my damn term tests and i'm theirs. please hang on, guys(zhen). i'll be there, i promise.

just one more thing to add. teddy geiger's performing at Balaclava next Thursday, and i'm going. awesome.

Twisted Logic

are you guys ready for this?

COLDPLAY IS COMING TO SINGAPORE FOR A CONCERT!

Coldplay- Twisted Logic.
ohmygod.

i have to go. even though i've been trying to save up for the past few months, i have to go. i know i can only afford the cheapest ticket($68) but i have to go. it's Coldplay for god's sake. i really wanna go.

i'm counting on you, anna(heh) but in case she doesnt want to, is there anyone who wants to go too? come on y'all. it's Coldplay.

Curbside Prophet

i got jason mraz's "Waiting For My Rocket To Come" album. FINALLY. i'm thrilled. yay.

"hot"shot

i was right. my stress level rose last week, and it was only the second week of school. pop quiz: what is the one thing that can really drive me crazy and hyperventilate like a freak-child even right at the beginning of a new school year?

answer: internet computing applications. oh, right. to simplify it, it's java.

YES. i'm not even going to talk about it. it's over anyway. i'm just going to say that this isnt going to be an easy year...for sure. i'm pretty sure the teacher's probably blacklisted me in his little black book. p-reee-tty sure. heck, you guys. i screwed up. eeek.

the weather's not helping at all. it's going to start giving me grumpy mornings if i wake up feeling totally uncomfortable because of the humidity. and knowing that my dad and bro are totally relaxed and enjoying themselves in that acceptably cool weather right now makes me want to get out of here now even more! i am ready for the polar shift. bring it! bring it!

but it's alright, cos friday's a holiday and it's no secret that i like holidays. want to know what the best thing about a holiday is? there's no school! no school. okay i just thought i needed to emphasize on that, in case you havent heard me. heh. NO SCHOOL y'all. right, right. i'm done. i promise.

anyway, sunday's mother's day and i made her a card. shhh. i used to make her cards at every occasion, like her birthday, mother's day or even my parents wedding anniversary (and so) since i was little but i kinda stopped a few years back. so since she is going to have only 1 child at home on mother's day this year, i decided to make her a card. there's just...one problem. the card didnt turn out to be the way i imagined it to be. oh well, i shall uh.. we'll see. shhhhh. :)

Everything to anything

woke up earlier than usual today because we had to be at the airport by 6.30am. i'm sorry, i meant my father and brother had to be at the airport by 6.30am to check in. i was feeling pretty happy. i was humming to tunes, walking around the house like it was such a beautiful morning.

seriously, i think i had actually convinced myself that i was going to USA too. like, really convinced. i was basically living in my own thoughts until it hit me while having breakfast, that the only place i was going to go was school. i watched them walk into the departure hall. yup, i definitely wasnt going. but hey, i reminded my bro to take me pictures of the San Francisco bridge. and he's gonna add in Alcatraz as well. works for me! and i got him to buy me vintage tees if he sees them. yay.

it's me and mom now. it's cool. now she has nearly 3 weeks less of male laundry to do. "male laundry". hah. anyway, on our way back, we were talking about driving and i had no idea that the entire learning packaged costed so much. i think i might have to wait longer than i thought. oh well.

so she said that she learnt driving back then so that she could help my father out sometimes. like fetching him to the airport when he needs to travel, transporting things, or driving my brother and i to school.

Mom said,"so next time, you can fetch your kids to school too."

i told her grandma will probably be the one fetching them to school. i'm the best daughter in the world! :)

on a side note, i think something might be wrong with my right hand. the nerves died on me for a few minutes twice recently, when i woke up(and i dont think it's because i slept on them because i rarely sleep facing the right), and now my right palm trembles uncontrollably when i rest it. shit.

Word Play?

*suffering from writer's block*

uh, school's been alright, with the schedule being less packed this semester. of course, it's only the first week. come next week, everyone's probably going to start freaking out at hearing the words, "assignments", "projects" and " general election". *shudders*

i'm taking arts appreciation this term and i guess, taking this subject, you'd either love it or hate it. it's not going to be easy, but at least i know i like it for now. well, chances to express myself. there's no way i'm gonna miss out on that.

oh and i met marcus yesterday. apparently, we both weren't sure if it was either of us but we just waved at each other anyway. heh.

um... yes. writer's block.

A Well-Deserved break, indeed.

i know i have been having a break for a pretty long time, but i realised that anna was right. it's a well deserved one. i mean, after all, i have been stressing out during the last few terms of school and suffering under the pressure of the workload given, most of which, i had trouble understanding.

i deserved this break.

and i got it. going away made it better. 2 days away from singapore was refreshing, and good enough for me to completely relax myself. i was wonderfully relaxed. this time round, there wasn't any pressure to return home on time because i didnt have to go to school the next day.

and by relaxed, i meant truely relaxed. so relaxed until i allowed myself to pig out for 2 days. really. i indulged myself in heavenly meals for dinner and breakfast on thursday and friday respectively. buffets. yes, it's always been a guilty pleasure. there was no way that i was going to be there, and miss out on the sumptuous varieties in front of me. come on, who could resist that roast beef, grilled dory, kebabs, turkey ham...and all that jazz?

we ate well and engaged in silly little conversations about everything. and mostly, we made fun of my mom throughout the whole trip because everything she did or say was hilarious. she really cracked us up alot, and i think we did the same to her. also, she stepped into starbucks for the first time in her life. well done, momma! (wait till you hear what happened there. haha!)

although, being away from singapore for a couple of days made me appreciate some of singapore's systems. i guess sometimes, when you feel sick and tired of this place, it's good to get away for a while. and then you return home, and compared to some places, this truely is a safe and clean city. but of course, those 2 days were defintely worth it (excluding the traffic jam on our way back. STINKIN' JAM).

anyway, i've always wondered how my father knew the roads so well. it's one thing to know the roads in singapore, but it's another to know roads in other countries. he's driven in soooo many different places, it seems as though he has a street directory in his head. seriously. he's taken us to places behind old streets in malaysia, through country roads, and even through the rubber plantations once. places and roads that tour buses will never take you to. even in countries like new zealand and australia. plus, he's got driving skills of a daredevil(it scares me sometimes haha). my father always makes sure that we enjoy ourselves. that's one reason why i love holidaying with my family so much.

i think i'm lucky. because i dont feel the need or urge to disagree with things my parents tell me to do, stay away from them or feel embarrassed to be seen with them like some kids my age do(i'm sure they have their reasons). i guess, maybe, my parents and i have a mutual understanding for one another. they respect me as much as i respect them. like how they dont really give me restrictions sometimes, so i respect them by not pushing things to the limit. AND, i have to talk to my mom every night. i just cant shut it, and sometimes, i think she secretly wishes i'm like other kids who just dont talk to their parents. heh. not gonna happen anytime soon, mom!

Marcus got me to do this. so here goes:

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song titles that come up to answer each question.
NO CHEATING.

How does the world see me?
Just A Girl- Gwen Stefani (i am.)

Will I have a happy life?
All in All- Lifehouse (falling down what you gonna do?)

What do people really think of me?
Misfit- Amy Studt (it's true)

Do people secretly lust after me?
Hakuna Matata- The Lion King
what a wonderful phrase...

How can I make myself happy?
Leaving On A Jet Plane- John Denver
*nods*

What should I do with my life?
Move Along- The All American Rejects

Will I ever have children?
The Remedy- Jason Mraz

What is some good advice for me?
I Just Wanna Live- Good Charlotte

What is my current theme song is?
It Never Gets Easier- Straylight Run
i'll keep it simple for obvious reasons.

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?
Home Sweet Home- Motley Crue (technically?)

What song will play at my funeral?
Always Look On the Bright Side Of Life (dance, everyone!)

What type of men/women do you like?
Something About You- Five For Fighting

What is my day going to be like?
Simple As It Should Be- Tristan Prettyman
*smiles*

Why am I here?
I Think God Can Explain- Splendour

What will people remember me for?
Basket Case- Green Day (i pretty much am. *runs about with hands waving in the air*)

What song will be stuck in my head tomorrow?
Tomorrow Morning- Jack Johnson (pun intended.)

What will this year be all about?
Crazy- Simple Plan (hey, says it all.)

Misses and "misses"

met up with good ol' mates for coffee last night(zhen, you're next! :) oh and anna & marc, *yawns* um, yea. when?). it's not like we havent seen each other for ages...

...we just havent seen each other for weeks. hah. but it was nice catching up. even though we really just talked the whole night through, with a couple of mishaps with fried chilli mushrooms, i enjoyed it. boy, are things gonna be different when school re-opens.

i'm gonna miss "LOST" tomorrow night. darn. and possibly "The Amazing Race" and "Survivor". triple darn. OH. "Joan of Arcadia". dang it. going on holiday's such a hard thing. darn nutcracker on a cow's behind.

so okay, dont try to contact me on my phone tomorrow and friday. well, you could. but you'll have to pay more. ;)

ciao for now.

The Misadventures of Anna & Seige

let me let you in on a stupid story.

this afternoon, i was over at anna's to help her thin down her hair. so both of us went into the toilet, and i started cutting. snip, snip, snip. now, the door was closed, but it wasn't locked. i didnt think much at first.

we heard a noise coming from the storeroom, and anna immediately told me to lock the door. it wasnt a burglar or anything. it was...our grandmother. apparently, she didnt want our grandma to know that i was cutting her hair. we whispered a little, stopped talking, and held our breaths.

nope, no more sound. our grandma had returned to the kitchen. PHEW. so anna turned on the radio(yeah she has a radio in the bathroom) and i continued snipping(hah). SNIP, SNIP. then it came.

grandma asked anna some question on oil or something. YIKES. i quickly shut my mouth, and started thinking, ok, planning, on what to say to grandma if she finds out i'm in there. eeks. of course, i was secretly praying that she would just walk back to the kitchen. that's right. praying hard. BUT NO. she realised that i was nowhere to be seen. so she asked anna if i had gone home.

and anna(my dear dear anna) replied yes.

freak out began. i couldn't believe that she said "yes"! now how was i supposed to hide or sneak out of the house without grandma seeing me? my keys were still on the shelf outside! and at the same time, what would grandma have thought if she saw me then? how? what? how??

you would have to be in the toilet to understand how stupid and funny that situation was immediately after anna said "yes". quietly loud, i looked at her innocent face in the mirror and asked her why she said yes, while re-planning my whole what-to-say deal. it's time for Operation B. "that was the first answer i could say!" said Anna. no, more like, whispered Anna. both of us burst out laughing. but we couldnt laugh out loud because then grandma would know. so we ended up laughing really hard, but you know, without any sound. sooo freaking painful.

as if the situation couldnt get any stupider, grandma decided to return to ask anna to help her see something on some product. WHICH MEANT, that anna had to open the door. HOLY MOTHER OF FLYING COCKROACHES!

the next 5 seconds included 2 panic girls, lots of facial expressions, and the shower curtain. that's right. Operation C. i hid behind the shower curtain. NO, this isn't some Disney movie. i hid behind the shower curtain.

all was settled, and grandma didnt discover a thing. i wasnt spotted! thank god for the great invention, ladies and gentlemen, of shower curtains. *applauds*

it was just freaking hilarious. i didnt had to say anything, and neither did anna. i just needed to point at the shower curtain. and we both burst out laughing. i'm sorry, but it was just plain hilarious. and stupid. i think we were both mainly laughing at our stupidity, and yet, i THINK, intelligence(yes?).

i'm lazy to elaborate on, but later on, some relatives came over, and i popped out from the other room. grandma seemed surprised at first, but i somewhat convinced her that i had gone up to take something, and came back down earlier on already. she has the tendency of not noticing it when i go into the house..sometimes. so she was convinced. plus, she had people to entertain.

what a ridiculous way to spend a Sunday afternoon. ridiculous, but extremely funny. maybe you wouldnt think it was that funny. i guess you just had to be there to get what i mean. *laughs*

ps: my family's decided to spend 2 days in malaysia. it's a chrismukkah miracle!

The TV Entry

so i last posted about that green thing. well, either it's gone, or it's hiding somewhere, attempting to come out sometime in early May. but it's not around for now, which is why i'm still intact(and sane), don't worry. :)

in fact, life has been so quiet recently. yes, i went out a few times, but it's still quiet. subtle. i mean, this isn't Wisteria Lane, and i'm not Joan of Arcadia or something, so there really isn't much drama happening around me (although, the block opposite's been having more drama than usual, but it's just Mediacorp drama). it's good though, not having drama in your life. the simpler it is, the better.

but i want to get away. even for just a while. for refreshments. besides, school's starting, whether i try to live in self-denial or not. "seige, you fool, you can run, but you can't hide." i feel like a Greek inside the Trojan horse, waiting impatiently to come out and conquer the country. a country. aaaannyytime now.

which is why, bye, bye, Troy, because the Greeks are coming! heh. i managed to ask my family to go to Malaysia for a day, just for a little break. we're gonna conquervisit Malaysia! more importantly, i can get out of here, even though it's just a day trip. at least it's before school starts. no wonder the Hulk's nowhere in sight.

people think that by not working, i wouldn't learn much at all. wrong. i've learnt so much these past few weeks. like how to juggle popcorn in the air while operating the remote control with my toes. or how to stuff 3 cookies into my mouth...get this,... at a time. :O I KNOW! ain't that amazing???

not.

ok so maybe i didnt learn all that. truth is, i've learnt to grocery shop. i've learnt to choose fruits properly. in fact, i love grocery shopping at supermarkets. it's kinda nice. plus, i've got a huge obsession for fruits lately. which is why i've had to have a bowl of mixed fruits every night for the past few weeks. here's a tip: if you're like me, where you like munching things even if you're not hungry, get grapes. they're nice to munch, and really healthy too. i like my share of kiwis as well. quote Jamie Oliver: "Kiwis are like the Aston Martins or fruits. they've got the craziest kind of taste, but have the highest amount of vitamin c in them as well." ooh, aston martin.

i got a little involved in cooking as well, and watching cooking shows highly interests me(of course, they cant beat my love for makeover shows, heh). wait. grocery shopping? cooking? uh-oh. have i turned into a Stepford wife? if so, where's my under-achieving, insecure, not-so-charming husband then? HAH. right.

woah. how random is this post?

That Green Thing

when i hear my father and brother discuss about their air tickets, when they should set off and what to pack and stuffs, i quietly go to my room, close the door, bang my head continuously on the cupboard, pull my hair till they all fall out, morph into the Incredible Hulk and stare at that green thing in the mirror. 2 minutes later, i walk out and act all normal again.

jealous? nah...who says i'm jealous?

...ok, this double identity thing is hard to keep up with. my alter ego's giving me a hard time. alright, alright, i'm jealous. envious. man, it's such a torture. i really dread school now. i refuse to count down to the number of days left before school reopens. i refuse.

i'm glad they get to go and all. i mean, i do hope they'll enjoy themselves. but i'd be a much happier person if i get to go too. unfortunately, i dont think it's gonna happen any time soon. my father asked me if i wanted anything from USA. i wanted to tell him to look out for Role Model tees, but then i figured he wouldnt know what they look like so i told him not to get me anything. plus, america's expensive.

yeah, you're thinking what i'm thinking. i guess i'm pretty much stuck here.

GASP! poor mom! she's gonne be stuck here... with me! shucks. i shall try to make it the best 2 weeks of our lives when the time comes (and secretly wallow in self-pity).a women's household! yes. i'm thinking...lots of relaxingironing, dancingmopping, and nice flickskorean dramas. sigh. i love my mom.

updates

The Commonwealth Games. now, here's something that i'd never thought i would really watch. afterall, it is because of these games that made the screening of some of my favourite programs postponed to a later date. i should hate them actually. surprisingly, i've actually grown to like watching them.

now swimming, i like. just check out the physics of the swimmers. males and females. for starters, they look like they've got really long bodies. the ladies look tough, and the men look good. i just love watching the competitions. it's actually something for me to do since i pretty much have nothing to do anyway. yeah it sounds pretty sad. but come on. i mean, hey, who knew there's a dragon in the middle of the Welsh flag? literally. huh? huh? bet you didnt know that. see? i learn too. :) plus, it's kind of my motivation to work out more.

my dad's going to California in may. not for work, but to "check that place out". and he pretty much has some of his expenses paid. my brother's probably going as well since he's having his holidays and... has enough cash.

i am so so so jealous right now.

never in my wildest, wildest dreams did i ever think that i'll be able to go to america. and it's still a dream. because i'm not going. this is a point in my life where i get the right to really hate school. school. ugh. that..that thing. that place where we get educated. bah. UGH.

i can't believe i'm missing out because of school. why couldn't it be april? or march? like now? i mean, money is a problem. but i'm just gonna find something to place hate on, and i choose school. Damn you, school. DAMN YOU.

What's in this head

i received my results via sms yesterday. the sms of doom...light? and thank you earth, wind, and fire, because i passed. that's right, i made it to year 2. let me just say, it wasnt so much of a joy ride while waiting for that sms to come(oh yeah, i need to buy Jason Mraz's "Waiting For My Rocket To Come". ANNA!).

but thank you god because i PASSED and it's all that matters. hoho.

surprisingly, i actually did better in this semester than the last. my GPA's slightly higher this time round. it's still far away from what's needed to enter a local university, but hey, it's an improvement. plus, are u ready for this...get ready...i actually got an "A" this time.

i know people. scream your lungs out. pull your hair. quick, drop your jaws and stare at me in disbelief!

that's what i did.

done? alright. to make you feel better, i got a D+ for BNT. (ok now you can turn to your friends and say,"yup, that's still her. mmhmm.") I mean, truth is, D+ definitely is a sucky grade. but it also means no supp paper, and for that, i'm thankful.

and i'd have to give huge credit to this person from another class who helped me out with my java. pure genius.

had a huge dinner at a restaurant yesterday because it was my grandmother's 85th birthday. anna and i just crapped alot. alot. it's been a while. that was fun, babe. :) we really should just start speaking in coded languages.

anyhow, it's still the hols and i'm still jobless, but i have this theory. if i cant find a job, i'll at least try to do something meaningful this holiday. taking up courses, doing volunteery work. heck, even drawing. which is why..i'm most probably gonna take up boxercise with my friend! okay before you burst out laughing and start rolling on the ground, let me just say that i think it's gonna be pretty cool! it's something to do, it's new, and it even keeps me fit. so why not?

also, volunteery work. i'm looking for places that just need simple volunteery work. like a child care center, or an old folk's home or something. either that, or some major organization that will bring me to africa to do volunteery work for the people there. sincerely. i'm not trying to play angel. those who know me know that i'm definitely NOT an angel(heh). i just wanna help.

oh yes, of course i stupidly, once again now, stupidly, got myself involved in some school workshop thing. now i have to go back to school next week to help my teacher out. STUPID, arent i?

ho. there i am, wanting to volunteer for organizations and stuffs, and here i am, complaining about being sucked into helping my teacher out at school. oh the irony. oh, me.

Oscars. It's all about the look, baby.

the Oscars. i loved it.

why? because it had everything Star Awards didnt have. the class, the glamour and the fashion. yeah, that's what i am. judgemental.

here's the difference between the Hollywood actors and the funny mediacorpers.

Oscars: the men showed up in classy tuxedos that really just didnt do anything to them except it made them look smart. and good looking too. their hair, nicely combed back. a little bow at the neck completed the whole look. most of the women showed up in simple yet elegant dresses that sparkled along with their radiant faces. it spelled G-L-A-M-O-U-R.

Star Awards: the men competed with the women to try to look as eccentric as possible. thus, we saw men showing up with hair extensions, or straightened(too much)fringes. different sets of clothes being put together to form an outfit. chains and weird flower brooches dangling on their jackets. scarves coming out from under the jacket? sure. real classy. as for the women, they tried too hard. admittedly, not all of them are like that, but there were those who wore weird little dresses that just didnt spell G-L-A-M-O-U-R, girlfriends.

gosh, i'm blunt. :)

and there's that touch of class and elegance at the Oscars. for one, no freaky Zoe Tay-auntie behaviour. freeeaaaky.*shudders*

and let me just say that Hilary Swank looked fabulous. and wow, that body. DARN thin people! ugh.

I'll Be There For You

i just watched the last episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S Season 10 and it's gotten me all sad again.

yes, it was a re-run. yes, i watched the entire re-run of F.R.I.E.N.D.S from season 1 to 10 on Star World. just like i watched the entire original series on Channel 5. but back then, i was comforted by the thought that Star World would still be showing the sitcom. so there, i had it. i knew weekdays got me bad, but i knew that 11 pm every night would somehow find a way to make me feel better. every weeknight.

it's so amazing, because i even managed to get someone who started out not being able to tell "Chandler" and "Joey" apart to turn into someone who reminded me that, "There's F.R.I.E.N.D.S tonight." My Mom. i got her to watch one episode, and she then followed the next, and the next, and the next...all the way till the end. she LOVED the show. she even safely tells me now that her favourite character would have to be "Phoebe". yay mom, me too!

okay, so i know this is a crappy post, but i really think i should give credit to the show that is partly the reason why i'm still not taking anti-depressant pills now.

OKAY, I'M A HUGE FAN. hell, i even got them on my desktop wallpaper, so sue me! :D

Sunday nights, that's all i got now. good thing it's the holidays.

ps: i can't believe i didnt watch "LOST" when it was shown on channel 5. it's darn good.

pps: uh-oh. i think we're all witnessing a serious case of the overprocessed-tv syndrome. i've cross over to the far end now. the extreme end.

nutto.

They all Suck.

this episode on Oprah the other day talked about this tragic story of a college girl who slowly planned her suicide and her frequent visits of a website that had encouraged her to do it while she was alive, contemplating it.

ProChoice- that was what that website was called.

apparently, Pro Choice is a website that tells people different ways of committing suicides. the different types of pills, the different styles, how to make suicide less painful; stuffs like that. postings were left on the site by different people on their ideas on suicide, and one of them wished the girl good luck on her attempt.

the thought of this makes me want to hurl. what do i think of this? i think this is sick. i think the idea of a site like this is disgusting, sickening, and just unacceptable. why would anyone want to set up such a website? why HAS IT BEEN set up? why is suicide ENCOURAGED? WHY? of all the things we can do in the world, of all the things we can encourage in the world...SUICIDE? is that it?

i didnt know the existence of such a website. in fact, i think there are plenty more around. okay, so it's called Pro Choice. which means... what? telling the people who're thinking of ending their lives, that suicide might just be the right thing for them?!

and leaving comments on top. "i hope your plan works for you. good luck."
that purely disgusts me. it just sickens me to think that there are people out there who thinks it is okay to encourage another person to end his/her life.

suicide has become such a common thing in today's world, it's scary. i'm sure everyone has thought about it. i'm sure there're times in your life when you feel your lowest, and you think to yourself," maybe i should just end it once and for all." Or maybe just a random thought? "what happens if i end my life? will it hurt? what will i become?"

no? well, i can say i have. but so what? it's just a thought. i dont contemplate on doing it. that's a different thing. i DONT encourage it. that's the main thing. i cant say much because i'm a girl of no power at all, but i think sites like this sould be shut down. period.

ANYWAY, onto unimportant issues(concerning me.heh.). i was at the cinema today and this group of chinese speaking teenage boys sat behind us.(i know you're going, "here she goes again!" *dreads* sorry. :)) now because a few of their girl-friends( or female friends as i should say) were sitting in front(next to me), they started kicking their chairs for fun, and for some reason, they probably thought that it was fun to kick mine too. i had to turn and stare at them before one of them realised that, "OH. THAT'S A STRANGER. AND MOMMY SAYS NEVER TO KICK A STRANGER'S CHAIR. HOW VERY DEEPLY STUPID I AM."

throughout the whole movie, they were shouting, playing their ringtones out loudly, making fun of their girl friends in front, scolding vulgraities in hokkien and chinese, and oh, the boy behind me was pissed off because those foreign teenagers behind him kept kicking his chair. OH, so YOU can kick my chair, but they cant kick your chair. HMMM. i see.

this KID just kept scolding out loudly in hokkien and chinese (to his friends). "si ang moh" was what he said. DUDE, really, if you really, so dearly, reeeaaally really want to be *sigh*, an "Ah Beng", then act like a real one. tell them off to their faces. which means, inENGLISH. no? cant do it? sorry, i guess you've failed then.

when the lights came on after the movie was over, i realised that a couple of those boys were shorter than me. SHORTER than me. that shows how young they are. because i aint tall. so let me guess. they're probably...primary 6 to sec 2. and yet all that profanities. i can understand that people use them when they're pissed...but when they just want to think that they're, well, "cool"?

why do kids want to be gangsters nowadays? is it the in thing? they REALLY think it'll make them cooler if they yell bad words in public? *laughs* Such losers.

such a turn off.

School 101 Holiday 101

school's out! party time, party people. get your asses off the couch and let's go CLUBBING! WHEEEEEE. that is like oh my god, sooo freakin' awesome. maybe we can even drink more than we usually do! :O like, how cool is that? woot!

rrright. like that's what i'm gonna do. *laughs* me? club? *laughs*

i'm pretty much a free person now, with my final exams done and everything. of course, i still have to wait for the results, which will come in the SMS of Doom like last semester. i'm not kidding. it's scary. i do not wish to take supp papers. i do not wish to take supp papers. i do not wish to take supp papers...

i cant believe Year 1 is over. i DO want to get out of year 1 but, i dont wanna be in Year 2. because it means more work, tougher subjects, more stress, and *grotesquely*, more Java. sorry, i just vomitted a little in my mouth.

although... it does feel good to know that i'm gonna be a student in Year 2! hah.

i'm always contradicting myself. i should be a poet.

so i'll probably take a break or so, or maybe look for a job or something. i don't know. haven't made plans on how to spend my holidays. or maybe i'll just snuggle up under my warm blankie and sit in front of the tv for the next two months. and die of heat stroke. 'least i died in front of the tv.

School 101

my last day of school is over. well, technically.

Next week's study week, which means stay at home and put on ear muffs so that the tv wont talk to me or go to the school library to actually get some work done. i don't know. it's a tough decision to make.

anyway, the following week will be my final examinations week. 3 papers, in 2 days. 3 papers...in 2 days. i know that's good. i also happen to know that's bad. Good because i'll finish my exams earlier, but BOO. that means lesser time to study.

my BNT(Basic Networking Technologies) paper happens to be 3 hours long. 3 WHOLE HOURS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO FOR 3 HOURS?! here's the thing. i predict i'll finish the paper in an hour or so- because i won't know how to do alot of the questions- and then i'll sit there on my chair, stare at the paper, pray that the answers to questions B2, B4, C1, C2, C3 and more will enter my brains and at the same time, try my hardest to resist the temptations of falling asleep.

resist.

i cant wait for the 21st of Feb. After my maths paper, i'm officially done with SCHOOL. okay Year 1...unless i have to take a sub paper (which i'm extremely afraid will happen) or maybe somehow, i just wont seem to be able to pass Year 1. that will be a different story.

okay, i shall have no bad thoughts for now. maybe i'll get my eyes off the tv and computer and start some studying now. alright. but not before i gorge on some lovely Cadbury chocolates first.

Bon Voyage

this morning was precious.

one of my dearest friends was leaving for Australia so we went to the airport to send her off. i overslept. i can't believe i did that. i was always foolishly early and yet at such an important day, i actually overslept. thankfully, i still got there in time to get ready to send her off(thanks to mom!).

7 years. that's long. that's really long. cos in 7 years we'll all be 25. we'll be real adults. it'll be the primetime of our lives. some of us might even be married. who knows? but at least she's gonna be able to do what she likes. that's good.

i'm gonna miss her, but 's ok...cos i'll visit her in 4 years! it's a pact my friends and i made. i really look forward to that day. i do hope the pact's still on by then though.

on to Chinese New Year. my family went to Johor on the 1st night. you know, to kind of escape Singapore. to take a break. to just get out of the country for a day. and believe me, it was worth it. sure, we stayed in a screwed up hotel but it still felt good to be away from all that stressful environment for a while. a night.
i've never seen my mom enjoy herself that much in a while. Black Jack. the key to happiness. hah.

there was karaoke-ing on the 2nd night. i'm just gonna leave out the details on that. mmhmm.

so okay. recently, i've been on the computer till mornings like 2am to do my projects. thus it gave me the opportunity to be crazy and talk stupid. well, i did. ask my friend. late night conversations-they're stupid... and so very entertaining. heh.

i met my future cousin-in-law today. he had a very strong english accent. WELL, he is technically "English". *gasp* i never thought i'd get the chance to say that. awesome. my cousin looked really happy. she didnt have to say it, but i'm sure everyone could see that she was glowing. sh-weet. that means another wedding coming up.

i love attending weddings. have i ever mentioned that? i love weddings. :)

i've completed a few stuffs but feels like i've still got plenty to do. French speaking test. ugh. BNT Lab Test. argh. Java project. *pukes* oh.i DO have plenty more to do...

author's note: did i mention that i left my java lab exercises and the project worksheet in the free access lab i used on Saturday? i.am.a.freaking.absent.minded.hobbit. i hope it's still there tomorrow. Would anyone like to use my brains for some scientific experiment?

Gong Xi Gong Xi

hectic schedule. craaazy work. unfinished junk. stressed up brain. drained thoughts. hyperventilation. nervous breakdown.

my therapy? My Chemical Romance's [Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge].
What you should do, is blast it on your radio 3-5 nights in a row. sometimes it really works.

chinese new year is here. my best therapy...for now. it's finally here. i'm finally getting a break from all these "k-fed"(<-my other word that means "stupid") work i have to do! i know i'll have to get back to them, or as a matter of fact, get ready to present them, once school reopens on Wed. but i'm not gonna freakin care for now. i need a break, and i'm gonna use it well.

well, until tuesday of course and then it's back to reality, girlfriend.

reunion dinner tonight.
happy chinese new year everyone. Gong Xi Fa Cai.

New Day

i finally found time to blog. i've still got so many projects to complete, although most of them are at least 1/4 done..finally. phew....like i'm ever going to be able to finish them.

the past 5 days or so felt like 5 years. the funeral and everything.. it was so hectic and crazy, i felt as though it would never end. but it's all over now. it's ended. i think i learnt alot from the funeral. alot about my family, alot about my grandfather, alot about chinese customs. those traditions. hmm.

i think my mother's back to normal. i'm pretty sure she can't be that normal yet but she's definitely better. and turns out my family is gonna celebrate chinese new year after all. i better step up and get everything done then! *nods*

my only question is...where? hm.

so we bought lots of stuffs for the chinese new year today. loads and loads of them. bags and bags of them. we got our pussy willow.

in the evening, we received news that my grandpa had passed away. 96 years of age.

death for him is just another journey to another place. a happier place maybe. no more suffering in pain. i'm happy for him.

she's... back.

i think the wet weather's gone for good. or at least for now. the rain was such a pain and a gain. i didnt like having to shelter myself from the rain every morning for the past 2 weeks. but i loved the cool temperature. if only Singapore was this cool everyday. if only.

but hey, with Mother Nature playing her tricks on the world right now, Singapore might just snow one day. just one fine day. i wonder if that's a good or a bad thing.

anyway, i'm starting to feel the pressure lately because i've got loads of projects on hand and a few of them have to be completed before the Chinese New Year. lab tests coming up and oh, a math test on the eve of the eve of cny.

yay. boy, that's what i need to get me in the mood. *snaps fingers and does a thumb-up*

i can't wait for chinese new year. i really cant. nobody around me seems to be getting in the mood. i know, the pre-festive-season spirit in me is here... again (everybody go, "SIGH."). just like christmas.

okay now my friends are gonna start to avoid me. hmm.

SO as i was saying, chinese new year is coming. made LOADS of pineapple tarts at my aunt's house the other day. enough to set up a stall for a day i think. really. i guess it was pretty fun to learn how to make goodies like these(especially if you're doing it with 5 other ladies around. kinda like..ladies day! or um, grandma's knitting class.)..until you're doing the 4,789,346,203th tart. then it got pretty tiring. who knew that one could end up suffering from a sore back and tired feet..just from making the innocent little pineapple tarts?

so it really is my duty to eat them up during new year, for making me do all that hard work. oh, the sacrifice.

*sniggers*

gonna go to chinatown tomorrow. hopefully we'll find a pussy willow. hey if i can't get a christmas tree, at least let me enjoy my pussy willow okay?

ps: i still don't think they should keep playing new year songs everywhere. they get..annoying.

A New Year

it's been a very slow week, probably because i'm still in the whole holiday mood. some things we did, i liked. some, i didnt.

we got back 3 out of 4 of our exam papers.2 of them, i thought i did pretty ok. but as predicted, i failed my java. and badly too. i'm really starting to wonder what i'm going to do when i graduate and start working in the society. where is my place going to be if i'm failing my main module this badly? i wouldn't have a teacher or a friend there to help me, so i'll probably get fired.

then where do i go? i don't know. and i'm 17 already. and if you count by the year, i'm 18. dammit. i have no idea where i'm going. the freak out begins.


Dr William Tan tried to set a new Guiness World record on Thursday by wheeling himself around my school track for 24 hrs. we had to participate as well by running around the tracks. me, being the lousy runner i am, ran a pathetic number of 3 rounds. i was panting like a tired old horse after 2 rounds. pa-the-tic.

but i guess i did feel pretty good after the run. i thought i would've dreaded it, but i ended up feeling good. i wouldn't say i'm proud of myself(god, did u see? i was pathetic!) but i'm glad i ran. because to be honest, after being hyped up earlier that evening, i felt a little sick in my stomach and i almost considered going home. shame on me.

thankfully, i didnt. if a parapelgic person could go on, i should. i did.(still not proud of the fact that i ran 3 pathetic rounds though) heh. i do have a different perspective on certain things in life now. i must admit, he's a pretty admirable man. he never gave up. we shouldn't too.

oh yeah, i was freaking out a moment ago?

still am.

alright, now i'm contradicting myself.

(oh and people, keep the parks clean! :) )

Auld Lang Syne

ah,31st december. as suggested by anna, i shall blog about my year. my 2005.

i don't remember much. so here goes...

2005 Highlights:

release of the 'o' level results
the month before i was nervous. the week before i was sick in the stomach. the night before, i was breaking out cold sweat. that morning, i was out walking around TM with my friends before we went to school, as though nothing was going on.
it wasn't as bad as i had expected. i only knew i was happy because i knew i was able to enter poly. PHEW.

Simple Plan- Still Not Getting Any concert (30th of March)
my first real-time concert. Suntec Hall 601. the day started out bad, but once they came out to perform it got better and better. it ended up well..only that i ended up having muffled ears for about nearly a week. i vowed never to attend another concert for the rest of the year. Tomorrow is a new year.

survived my first week in poly (24th of May)
i actually managed to do so without getting myself into any trouble. i was lucky i got into a class where everyone just kind of became friends within 2 days. awesome.


stepped out of the country twice.
2 day trips to Malaysia. hey, it's better than nothing.

JAVA.
bah, i hate it.

dyed my hair.
didnt really work the first time. or the second. or the third. or...
i.have.stubborn.hair.

nail-polish craze
i don't know what got into me, but i got into a nail-polish craze this year. and what better to begin than owning my very first black nail-polish. then many others came along. la dee dum. my nails are brown now by the way.

Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire
it finally came out. i didn't think that it was as good as the 3rd one though. but woohoo i caught it.

diarrhoeas.
never had any for such a long time but this year just seems to be my d-year. either i'm being punished for something, or i just kept eating the wrong food. either way, PLEASE LET 2006 BE DIARRHOEA FREE.

Holiday On Ice- Hollywood (9th of Dec)
what can i say? good looking people in skates. anyone would love to watch that. :)

my birthday
believe it or not, but this is the first time in 17 years that i've actually had friends celebrate my birthday for me. because i always tell them not to, since i'm not really the celebrating type. but i really appreciate my friends for doing it. i had a great time.

there you have it. like i said, i don't remember much.:)

my TOP 10 songs of the year:

1) Fix You- Coldplay (i love this to pieces)
2) Helena- My Chemical Romance
3) Wake Me Up When September Ends- Greenday
4) Home Sweet Home- Motley Crue & Chester Bennington
5) Don Cha- Pussycat Dolls
6) Do You Want To- Franz Ferdinand
7) Lose Control- Missy Elliot feat. Ciara & Fatman Scoop
8) I Don't Wanna Be- Gavin Degraw
9) Welcome To My Life- Simple Plan
10) (maaan i can't believe i'm saying this) Hung Up- Madonna

(Kill- Jimmy Eat World nearly made it to the list!)

happy new year, all.

Pretty

tell me guys, how sweet is it when your friends celebrate your birthday for you, even when you told them there wasn't a need to?

let me tell you. *opens both arms out wide* thiiiissss sweet.



i was a little tired, but i had an awesome time last night. awesome. although i must add that it was a little awkward for me because i've never really wanted to be the center of attention at any point (heh). that kind of explains why i was shushing everyone when they started singing"Happy Birthday". no, they were sweet. i'm the weird one. awesome bunch of people.

my friends...everyone of them...awesome.

For My 17th Birthday...

i turn 17 today.

when i laid on my bed last night, i thought about a lot of things. about the things in my life to be thankful for. the things that some people will not have in their lives ever again.

i am talking about the victims of the Tsunami 26/12/04.

i counted down to Christmas at Anna's place. we carolled. we watched "A Blessed Christmas". we ate. we wore our "I Believe In Santa Claus" santa hats. we "boggled". we whacked each other with the MTV Asia 2004 premium thingies. we were nuts, but i had fun.

then i got home, and i caught the Tsunami special on CNA. they were showing real life video footages of the people who survived and were taking the videos as the tsunami struck. it suddenly didn't feel so right to be happy anymore.

i watched this couple get washed away as they tried grabbing someone's hand to be pulled up to safety. this family was pinning themselves against their house as the waves rised. 2 children got swept away. it's like a movie, where you see the characters get washed away, but you know they'll still be there in real life. only that wasn't a movie, it was real. they weren't coming back.

my bro thought that we shouldnt watch something so depressing on Christmas. we were playing Scrabble. the four of us.

i'm thankful for all that i have. i really am now. sure, i dont get parties and presents like cars like the kids on My Super Sweet Sixteen for my birthday. but the victims of the disaster have no homes, and i have a comfortable one. they have lost their loved ones, and i have them right next to me. i even get a cake. i wish there's something i can do for them. anything. maybe offer a hug. anything.

for my 17th birthday, i shall be thankful for everything i have...

Happy Thoughts

finally, the exams are over. i am 150% sure that my java paper is screwed really badly. i dont even know how to describe it.

anyway, tis the season to be jolly...

tomorrow's the long-awaited day...Christmas Eve! i shall erase the unpleasant, traumatic experience of doing my exam papers for now and be happy. and of course, it's also the beginning of my holidays! sure it's just 8 days, but it's the beginning of my holidays! awesome.

we need santa hats, damn it.

oops, i said happy.

i have to go back to school for 6 whole hours next tuesday. BUMMER.

happy thoughts, happy thoughts!

I will talk, and Hollywood will listen.

Bad case of diarrhoea on thursday night and yesterday. i have no idea why because everything i ate the day before, someone else ate the same thing. whatever it was, it wasn't very nice. try having to go to the toilet like, 6 times... in between your precious sleep. it didn't help that i was gonna have two tests the next day. definitely didn't help at all. it undesirably sucked.

which also reminds me: i think i screwed up my BNT paper. hoorah.

but after a visit to the doctor's, a half-hour sleep and some medicine in the afternoon, i felt alot better by evening. and after an afternoon of consideration, i thought i felt alright enough to go to the show, "Holiday On Ice-Hollywood" at the expo with the complimentary ticket i got.

only when i got there did i realise that the ticket i was holding on to was worth $98, which was the most expensively priced one. we were sitting *inhales* right smack in center of the last row of the front-sector*exhales*(so close to the rink) where the view(minus the man sitting in front of me) was absolutely perfect. i'm glad i didn't waste the ticket.

Hollywood was worth every of my post-diarrhoea-resting time. the show was, how should i say it... spectacular. i dont care if some people thought it was retarded(*whistles at anna*). it was absolutely lovely.

an entire large group of good-looking skaters dancing to the different tunes from films made in Hollywood, and also doing some little acting from some movies, stunts included. they skated to tunes from Titanic, Dirty Dancing, Fame, Footloose(which i loved)..just to name a few. their moves were sooo beautiful, i just wanted to go up there and justtwirl...and twirl...and twirl... ok, i'm sorry. so as i was saying, they had gorgeous skating moves , props and costumes. everything was so pretty. sure, there were a couple of times that some of them fell while doing that spinning in the air move, but did you think anyone mind? of course not.

one of the most exciting moments would have to be the part of the movie 007, where "James Bond" jumped across 2 fire hoops on skates. there was a little magic going on as well, the part where they locked him up in a wooden box and he came out from the audience section in a different suit. ah, James Bond indeed. *raises eyebrow* Charming man, he is. The same guy who played the baddie in the Charlie Chaplin segment. the same guy who jumped over 5 or 6 people kneeling next to each other, on skates. kinda like one of those charity shows on tv, except this was much cooler.

my favourite part would have to be the Moulin Rouge bit. Gorgeous skaters, gorgeous settings, gorgeous moves. the best part was when the entire group did the "can-can" to Fatboy Slim's "Because We Can" tune. the moves were so well coordinated. the line was so straight. the costumes were so striking. i wanna do the "can-can" too.

the best skater had this mega-watt smile. he Never.Stopped.Smiling. and his teeth were so white, they should stop endorsing Sylvester Sim. c'mon, let this man do what he should really be doing- toothpaste or teeth whitening commercials. oh that perfect smile. he was undoubtedly the best skater though.

of course, not forgetting these 2 characters who made everything funny. they were these 2 guys who were "auditioning" time and time again just to be able to act in hollywood. one was big and tall, and the other was strong but small. they would appear in between segments and do funny moves for the "director", who kept saying "NO" until the final part where he finally said "ALRIGHT!". aww.. they finally signed the contract. everyone in the audience started cheering. it's like we watched them change from nothing to something.

it was a fresh experience.

oh did i mention that we saw the Team Singapore Gymnasts who got gold in the Sea Games too? yeah we did. Lee Wen Si was really pretty. ok that was kinda random.

anyway, because of this show, zhen and i couldnt find a right time to meet. i feel so guilty about that. sorry zhen(if you ever read this), i only knew this at last minute! i promise i WILL find a day to meet you soon. but i think i got my just deserts. diarrhoea.

*yawns*

i was pretty tired at school today. didn't really sleep much last night due to the extremely humid temperature my room was experiencing. i'd fall asleep for about 10 mins and then wake up suddenly again. i was checking the alarm clock every single hour and counting down to how many more hours of sleep i had to the time to wake up for school-6.30am. 6hrs...5hrs...4hrs...3hrs...2hrs...1hr. my alarm clock rang. Mom opened the door. she woke me up as usual. not that i had actually fallen asleep.

and yes, it rained this morning. heavily, in fact. even when i stepped out of the house. Mom was snuggled up warmly under her blanket on the couch like all rainy days, reminding me to bring along my sweater to school. not this morning. this morning, i needed no sweater. all i felt was humidity. so warm i think i was almost grouchy. ---i'm starting to think the tea i drank last night(at the airport with my family) might be a suspect as well.---

the 17 yr old air-condition in my room needs some fixing.

managed to catch the movie "Pretty Woman" at the school library today during break. my 4th time watching it, i should think. hey, at least it relaxed my mind for a while. and it is Richard Gere. :)

tests are coming.

tired.

Farewell

Talk about karate and the first person that comes to my mind is Pat Morita, better known as "Mr Miyagi" from the "Karate Kid".

I just came across the news that he has passed away on today's newspaper. It kind of came as a shock to me, even though i knew that he wasn't very young anymore. It's sad, i think, especially since i just watched "Karate Kid 3" yesterday on AXN. My favourite character has passed on.

I've been a fan of the Karate Kid movies for years. "Karate Kid 1", "Karate Kid 2", "Karate Kid 3", "The Next Karate Kid"- you name it, i caught it. Caught them all. Watched them all for umpteen times, i'm telling you. Ralph Macchio. i know that guy. that's right. that's how much i loved the show. In fact, i think all that watching throughout the years has probably taught me a skill or two on karate. really.

No doubt about it-Mr Miyagi was definitely my favourite character in all four films.

The good ol' "Wax on...wax off...Wax on...wax off..." & "Man who catch fly with chopsticks, accomplish anything."

taglines i'll always remember.

the newspaper also talked about Elisabeth Shue's and Hilary Swank's Oscar achievements, which i distinctively remember telling my dad the exact same thing a few weeks ago. And both movie stars starred in the Karate Kid movies(not that Elisabeth Shue played a really big part though). i know so much.

so back to Mr Miyagi, or Pat Morita as i shall say now. I think they should have a wax figure of him in Madam Tussaud's wax museum. i really think they should. one can never leave out the man who said that "karate is for defence and honour, not for tournament."(something like that.)well give him the honour, i say.

It's a pity he's passed on, but i don't think i'll forget Mr Miyagi. ever.

I salute you, Morita-san!

ps: don't find me weird. please. :)

Just another random entry

french lecture and tutorial on the past 2 days were pretty fun. i'm starting to get the hang of this language, and i'm liking it. :)

i'm not understanding math. the lecturer's not that bad, but i'm just not understanding it. i'm kinda worried about that. i cant not understand math. not especially math. more practises, i know. the thing is, i dont even know how to do the practises. i'm kind of standing on the edge of a cliff right now with math. woah. too risky.

I WILL TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT. i'm gonna.

i mean, it's math. it cant be that difficult...can it?

it's amazing how fast time passes. it's already wednesday, which means 2 more days and then it's the weekends. yay. of course, when it's the weekends, it'll be 1 more day to Monday again. all over, and over again. over, and over, and over again. sigh. i'm getting depressed even before it's the weekends.

*snaps out of it* i spotted 2 christmas trees in school already. TWO (i was so tempted to steal one of them.shhh)!!! 2 is good, more is better. i'm pretty sure a school like mine is capable of being really handsome for christmas. well at least there're 2. i'm liking my school a little bit more now. :)

OOH....WOW...AHH..

something's taken over me. something powerful. something strong. something that's defintely not Jack Frost.

yes, something very christmas-sy.

i don't know why, but i just feel extremely excited about this year's christmas. i've always loved the christmas season, but somehow i am so looking forward to this year's. it's nothing to do with the plans anna and i made, i'm pretty sure. actually, nothing in particular. i just have NO IDEA why this year seems to get me so excited! i really don't know!

i bought myself a christmas decoration when i was out. i did. and i've planned to decorate my room for christmas(mom allows me to decorate it as long as it's not too messy) even though...my family doesn't celebrate it at all? wait. my family has never really celebrated christmas. then what on earth am i doing getting so excited about it?

woah. i think i've found out why.

television. that's right. it's always so perfect on tv. Christmas, that is. i mean, the tree, the fireplace, the snow, the decorations... all so perfect. i know they're just tv shows but they looked perfect. and i think this time around, there may be a part of me that cannot take it anymore. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS YEAR'S CHRISTMAS. i guess?

maybe it's just the fact that i'm turning 17, and i'm starting to realise that if i want to have my own christmas, i can have my own christmas. *nods* that must be it. i've freaked a couple of my friends out already, going nuts ("oh my god look at that lovely tree!!") everytime i see a pretty tree. i'm sorry you guys, i can't help myself. i want a christmas tree! heh. ok, i'll try to restrain myself from going up there to steal the tree and embarrass you guys in public, i promise! :)

~36 more days to christmas~

ok i'm officially a nut.

ps: i watched The Goblet Of Fire today. i wouldn't say it was as wonderful as i expected it to be but watching it still made my day. (hah. easily contented.) :)

Quiz-ified

quizzes again!


You are the A Walk to Remember kiss!


Which Movie Kiss Are You? (With Pics!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

awwww. suh-weet.
if only i DO get to kiss Shane West though. heh.


You're a Pregnant Britney!?!? wut happened to you
PERSON? lol jk!


Which Celebrity Are You? (girls only!) And With Piccies!
brought to you by Quizilla

i...am...Britneypregnant Britney?
HUH.



The Traditional Princess

You are generous, graceful, and practical with both
feet planted firmly on the ground. You tend to
be a little on the old-fashioned side. You
value home, hearth, and family life and love to
be of service to others.

Role Models: Snow White, Maid Marian

You are most likely to: Discover a hidden talent
for spinning straw into gold.


What Kind of Princess are You? - Beautiful Artwork (Original Music is BACK!!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

hmm it does sound a little true. *whistles the "seven dwarfs" tune* oh sorry. u mean snow white?


Wow! This red dress is sexy, and not to exposing.
Get out of your ho-hum routine and make a very,
cherry statement!


What party dress are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

woah. i'll never be able to fit into anything like that. never.


Quote: One day my soul has love, because what else
can I do but wait

You hide hope. You have a happy exterior but on the
inside you are sad and waiting for something to
fill the empty gap within you. People don't
understand that you hate this world. You just
want to find you reason for being here. You
want to find someone who is true and is there
for you. I hope you find them, I'm sure you
will. Don't worry things have to get better
sometime just hang on.


~We all hide something from the world...What do you hide~(with beautiful dark pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla

this is partly true. some quizzes are just so scary sometimes.

When will it end?

terrorism, natural disasters, diseases..

i wish i can change what's going on in the world right now. sigh.

School

4 days since school started. i'm still trying to get used to my new timetable. it's just so packed.

i'm looking forward to tomorrow though, cos school starts at 10 and ends at 12. and it's a friday. wuuuunderfuuuuul. wonderful. :)

these few days have been really tiring. monday's exceptionally long. exceptionally. but it's all for french, so i guess, it was worth it. still, i think i'm gonna go to wednesday's lecture instead from next week on. i hope it's allowed.

french- the first lesson. i'd have to say, other than the fact that most of the people in the french class didnt know one another and that no one really talked to the person sitting next to them, french was fun. or at least the teacher made it interesting. or maybe it's just the whole thing about learning a new language that made me feel good about the lesson.well, i think i'll find out soon.

so my other lessons are reeaaally boring, but most of our new teachers are pretty alright this term. they're.. they're not that bad. there, i said it. most of my new teachers are not that bad at all. yay. if only the hours in school's not that long, and lessons weren't that boring, then everything'd be great. hah. if onlys. i can go on with plenty of "if onlys" and then feel lousy after this. i think i'll stop now.

but i guess my classmates do sometimes make the long hours in school easier to pass for me. they're a funny bunch, have i ever mentioned that? yeah, they are. :)

school's starting on monday. how unfortunate. it means there'll be lots of things that i'm gonna miss. plenty of things. dang it.

what i'm gonna miss:

- waking up late. reaaally late.
- Dorothy, Sofia, Blanche and Rose. yeah, "The Golden Girls".
- watching Oprah at 1pm everyday. (yes, i watch Oprah. so?)
- the feeling of boredom and having nothing to do.
- not studying.
- borrowing books from the library for leisure reading
- going to the airport for coffee
- the sound of no alarm clock ringing
- the feeling that i can go out as and when i feel like it
- "New Detectives" on Discovery Channel at 2pm
- meeting up with lizhen often
- slacking at home. literally slacking.

and this is just part of the list.

what i'm looking forward to:

- 1st French Lesson
- BCM with jean on fri
- Christmas.

yeah, that's about it.

i'm going to malaysia tomorrow. hope i'll make it back in time for Daredevil.
au revoir!

Deck the halls with boughs of Holly

tis' the season to be jolly...

ok, i know it's still Hari Raya & Deepavali season right now. but i can't help it. i can't wait for CHRISTMAS! that's right, i can't. Christmas trees are appearing in malls and supermarkets. i feel it, i feel it!

now i recall writing a letter to santa last christmas, asking for a Christmas tree and a trip to NYC's Rockefeller Square. Santa must've missed my letter amongst that big pile from kids everywhere else cos i sure didnt get what i wished for. i'm not writing anymore. (psst Santa...it's okay! i still believe in you!)

i hope this year's christmas' gonna be fun. at least memorable. anna and i have plans already. plans that occurred to us while grocery shopping. we're gonna wear christmas hats/reindeer-like head bands and walk down orchard or something. i hope i actually do have the courage to do that though. cos in singapore, people ARE going to stare. i'm gonna be so embarrassed.

this is gonna be so fun. :)

i hope the tradition remains after that. get caffeinated at starbucks on christmas eve and then carol crazily loud at her home or mine. then countdown to christmas in our extremely quiet neighbourhood, perhaps hear a "SHUT UP!" or two, and then continue softly.

wow i am that excited about christmas. i'm not even looking forward to my birthday as much. i hope it'll be cool at the end of the year. the weather, that is. something might ruin it though..judging our luck. i pray not.

anyway, i got into French for my CDS, which is making me really happy, for now at least. yay.

fa la la la la..la la la la...

ps: you dont have to be a christian to want to celebrate christmas. ;)

Hi

I AM BACK!

after half a month or so, i am back. yay.

more postings again, i hope.

Bombed

was out yesterday with some friends to celebrate a friend's birthday. again, typical us had nothing properly planned so we just ended up having dinner at Billy Bombers in Century Square...

...which leads me to my topic. Billy Bombers is expensive. especially to me, one who's pretty broke right now. but i thought we should probably just try out that diner since none of us had eaten there before.

we ordered (and by "we" i meant all 5 of us) 5 set meals of the exact same food. EXACT same "Yeehaa Great Balls O' Fire Spaghetti" with of course, soup of the day, drinks and ice-cream sundae. so the menu wrote $14.95++. i kinda expected it to be around $17 then. turns out we each had to pay $21.50. Now is that expensive or what?

but you know what? i loved it. it was an awesome and filling(a little too filling heh) meal. i guess maybe part of it was due to the diner's atmosphere and another part, my friends. i seriously LOVED the atmosphere. i loved the entire interior design of the place. it's so..1940s-1970s American-ized diner styled. and if you know me, you'll know what i think of that. :) and the songs they played were perfectly motown. perfect.

in between all that lovely atmospheric dinner, my friends insisted that one of the waitresses was trying to flirt with our only guy friend in the group. well, i'll leave that un-commented. hah

now if anyone wants to treat me to a good meal, you know where to take me. ;)

Thoughts and Desires

apparently, i just blogged a chunk of things and this poop-assed computer erased it all. and i thought it was feeling a bit more cheery.

so i'll just summarise what i mentioned. i want to go back to school. not for work, but just because i'm bored. i want to go back to school for fun. i know. how could i use "school" and "fun" in the same sentence? anywway, i wish i could be in school with my friends now and not have any work to do.

hah, the desires of an elementary kid. tsk.

again, i COULD go travelling. i have been going to the airport alot recently and each time i'm there, the urge to travel gets stronger and stronger. it sucks watching people have their passports checked as they check in while i know i'm just gonna tap my ez-link card on bus 27 later on.

but to travel, i need an air-ticket...and that'll need money.

yesterday, i noticed that my stuffed pooh was gone. the bear that i've had with me for 6 years, was finally gone. well, it had to go or there'd have to be lots of sewing to do.

6 years. that's long. i've grown so much from 11 to 17. from a not so smart person with no general knowledge to a not so smart person with at least a bit of general knowledge. from a kid to a teenager (although i still feel like i'm like kid sometimes). from someone who would have almost joined an anti-boys club to someone who has a lovely celebrity crush on Tyron Leitso. 6 years is alot.

i remember the day when mom bought me that bear. she was the one who asked me if i wanted it, and i was questioning her if she was serious. and then i hesitated about getting it, telling her there was no need to, even though i was dying inside my heart to get it(hey, i was primary 5). she bought it for me anyway. every mother knows her own child. :D

so we walked past my uncle's shop and there sat my grandfather, talking to his friends as usual. he saw that big red plastic bag i was carrying, took a look inside, and said[translated from hainanese],"you still carry a bear at this age?". i just smiled back, protesting in my head that it was my mom who offered to buy that bear. (again, i was primary 5.)

that was 6 years ago. my then 89 year-old grandfather could still talk to me. 6 years later, he doesn't even recognise me anymore.

guess some things change in life, whether we want it or not.

i was planning on changing my style and looks for the school's new semester. like maybe, i could get a new haircut or something. yes.

and then i cut those thoughts out of my mind. why? because i realised that i'm going to school, not a fashion carnival. that's right, SCHOOL. why on earth should i try to change my style? it's school, you bozo, the land of books, teachers and lecture theatres. why should i bother?

ok, i lied. the real reason's because i realised that i'm the worst person who can change. i'm so boring, you cant change me. i cant change me. i'm trying to live with that right now.

suck it in, seige.

News

Scary News:

was watching STARNews Asia last night and there was this report on the Arctic ice. according to scientists' recent research, the ice in the Arctic in 1979 was almost twice as big as it is right now, 2005.

i can't find the image they showed so i drew it out(roughly) for you to view:
here

[this is just my rephrased and rewritten version]:
As you can see(please dont comment on my lousy drawing), by 2060, there will be no more ice in the Arctic region, which means there will be more hurricanes, tornadoes and floods that will affect the coastal regions, including Europe.

i'll be 72. and if *counts lucky stars* i'm still alive, i sure wouldnt want to see that happening. i seriously dont think i'd want to see disasters occuring one after another. it'll scare me, even if i'm 72. what can we really do to prevent this from happening?

Funny/Strange news:

A part-time Santa Claus from Denmark won a compensation of US$5000 from the Danish Air Force for the death of his reindeer.

apparently, 'Rudolf' was grazing on the grass when two F16s flew past above, possibly scaring the reindeer with it's loud noise and it collapsed to the ground and died. thus the compensation.

this is a strange world.